Grr God what do I do....?

I'm going to honest.

I had a lovely time with my Lauren friend tonight.

She makes me want to be a better person and it revives my soul when I spend time with her. It is so refreshing to spend time who shares your opinions about Christianity and what Gods heart is.

We talked about how lukewarm people in churches

How God has called us for so much more

And how church has become a show and how we beg people to come.

And is that what Jesus did?

Now here is where I'm going to be scarily honest.

I kind of changed my thought process--and not for a good reason. When my boyfriend and I started dating--I changed how I thought about things because I didn't want to "scare" him off. I tried to become less radical--less crazy--less ridiculous. I rationalized it--told myself that I was wrong before.

Slowly though over the past year or so God's been chipping away at my issues. And changing me and Stephen as well. As I see how drastically Stephen's changed--even in the way he thinks about things, it's reminding me to trust God.

If he is the man for me--then God will be faithful to mold him into the man that he is meant to be just as he promised to faithfully mold me into the woman that I need to be.

And I need to trust God.

Cause when it comes down to it--it's a trust issue.

Do I trust God enough to give him everything?

Even my feelings?

Do I believe that God is going to hold my heart and my hand gently?

Do I believe that He works everything out for the good of those who love Him?

And Dear God--I want to love you.

Help me love you.

lets get this done and knock it out! :)

Also-do loads and loads of laundry ;)

One final stands between me and freedom.

And I need an 87 for a B.

Yes, getting a 75 on a test (when your tests are worth 20% of your grade will totally screw you over :P)

No chance for an A--but I will live (hopefully) ;)

How come the more I get to know God--the less I feel I do...lol

List

Things to do after school during Christmas break.

1. Talk to God
2. Give Stephen a hug and tell him how glad I am it's over lol
3. CLEAN ROOM (my room literally looks like an atomic bomb went off)
4. Read books (lots and lots and lots :))
5. Finish buying Christmas presents
6. Wrap Christmas presents
7. Work
8. Study for the NCLEX
9. Talk to friends
10. Hang out with Justin (and maybe Madison as well :))
11. See my Lauren friend
12. See Cassie

:)