Queen of England

Had a conversation with a friend a few days ago and we were talking and somehow Queen Elizabeth came up (don't ask me how because I really don't know lol). She offhandedly said, "Oh, if only she would pick up for the cause of Human Trafficking, imagine all the good she could do." I sat there for a moment and then a thought came to me and I replied, "What if you and I really picked up the cause. Imagine what we could do. Imagine if we really started living as if caring for the least of these was one of the most important things that we could accomplish in our lives."

And then it got really quiet.

Here are the facts ladies and gentleman. It starts with me. It's not my brother, not my sister, not my mother, not my father. It's me oh Lord that stands in the need of prayer. It's my life that I am responsible for, what I use my time and energy and resources those are things that I can influence--those are the choices that I make.

What's wrong? I am.

“Dear Sir: Regarding your article 'What's Wrong with the World?' I am. Yours truly,” 

― G.K. Chesterton

This world is a beautiful place, but it also broken. Oh, so very broken.

And ladies and gentleman it starts with me. I wield words like weapons and use them to hurt instead of heal. I am usually selfish, impatient, and prideful all before I even fully wake up in the morning. I have been complacent and apathetic so many times in so many ways. 

What's wrong with the world? I am.

And if the story ended there I don't know what I would do...

Take Heart...

Sometimes life wells up all around you and it just gets overwhelming...or at very least I get overwhelmed. The world is a beautiful place, but ugly things live right alongside beauty. 

Babies are buried every day, suicides must be cleaned up, mothers cry, starvation is a horrible reality, cancer is not just a nightmare, tornadoes decimate entire cities, and walls of water wipe out entire coastlines. 

And people you love make choices that will hurt them and other. People run far from the very One who would save them...and my heart aches. 

I was driving in the car this morning and I struggled to believe the words floating from the speakers into the air around me "You do all things well". Sometimes life is enough to make me doubt the things I know deep in my bones to be true...

A prayer escapes my lips, a prayer born of desperation and longing. A brutally honest prayer that admits right now; I doubt in this moment. I doubt that my prayers goes anywhere above the sheet of metal that sits above my head, I wonder if my whispered words make a difference at all.

I grip to God with hands that are full of questions and doubt.

Oh God, I believe but help my unbelief.

The words of John 16 drift down around me. "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

And I remembered. I remembered that my God loves and is working on redeeming all of this broken mess. There is no pain, sorrow, sin, or life that is beyond His love and care.

I don't know how this story that is being written right now will play out exactly--but I know the end of this worlds story.

And He the maker of all things good--He wins.

I don't even know exactly why I am typing these words right now...

I don't know what you are going through, I don't know your story-but I do know the One who is writing it. He loves working beauty from broken things. He loves redeeming the ugliness. He brings life from ashes. And yes, the world is overwhelming but I know that He has overcome this broken world and is at work setting everything right.

Even when I can't understand and can't possibly see how this is going to work; I do know He is working all things together for my good and His glory.. And right now in this moment that is enough for me. 

Why Do I Love to Read?

I've been with Lucy as she buried her hands into Aslan's mane and heard Him roar, journeyed with Bilbo to find a dragon and then later adventured with Frodo to destroy a band of gold, I've been to the back of the north wind with little Diamond, with Wendy flying through the air with Peter to Neverland, sat in the little log cabin with Laura Ingalls, stood on the edge Dark Sea of Darkness with Janner Igiby, I've ran through the woods and reveled in the beauty of the world with Anne Shirley, I've been with Henry York as he traveled through a hundred cupboards, built a treehouse with the Robinson family, I've ridden on the back of a wild black stallion with Alec, sought revenge with Edmond Dantès, I've cried with Jo when lovely Beth died, given freely to the poor with Robin Hood. I've sailed on the high seas with Fin Button, journeyed deep into the earth, climbed towering mountains and frolicked in beautiful meadows, and I've loved every beautiful minute of it all. 

Why I love to read? This is why. To all the libraries, bookstores used and new, to all the authors who spin beautiful stories; thank you for all the adventures that I've been on and all the ones that I will have in the future.

Desperation.

Sometimes life wells around you and it just gets overwhelming...or at very least I get overwhelmed. The world is a beautiful place, but ugly things are prevalent too. Babies are buried every day, suicides must be cleaned up, mothers cry, starvation is a horrible reality, cancer is not just a nightmare, tornadoes decimate entire cities, and walls of water wipe out entire coastlines.

I see the ugliness in me. I am impatient, not loving, and selfish. Words slip out of my mouth that cut like swords-and they hurt instead of heal. It's enough to make a girl become overwhelmed.

So I run, I clamber into my car and drive no where in particular. I struggle to believe the words floating from the speakers into the air around me "You do all things well". Sometimes life is enough to make me doubt the things I know deep in my bones to be true...

Just after midnight I find myself at a 24 hour coffee house in Charlotte and I find a soft arm chair...and I sit and pray.

A prayer escapes my lips, a prayer born of desperation and longing. A brutally honest prayer that I doubt in this moment, I doubt that my prayers go anywhere above the roof that sits above my head, I wonder if my whispered words make a difference at all.

Oh God, I believe but help my unbelief.
I have faith but I need you to give me faith.

It is in these moments when I am reminded afresh that I cannot do this on my own.

If I couldn't save myself in the first place-why do I think I could do it now?

I breathe in, I breathe out and then I remember...
I was dead until Jesus breathed upon me.
I cannot save people, that's not my job.
I can only love them.
Because I am loved.
I am loved
I am loved.