downhere=love

 

There are no mystic jewels, embedded in my prose,

No moonlit haloed cherubs, perched on my piano,
No lyrics laced with pixie dust, no angels sings along.
I am just a beggar who gives alms

Gold and silver have I none, but such I have give thee,
Borrowed words from the one, who gave the gift to me,
The pearl that I could never buy, this life, this dream, this song,
And I am just a beggar who gives alms

I am not the creator, but a scribe with a pen,
I'm recreating visions, through a cracked and broken lens,
Only one has ever seen the home for which we long,
And I am just a beggar who gives alms.

~The Beggar Who Gives Alms

--------------------------------------------------------------

Peoples.

I want to see.

I'm so tired of seeing this world through a cracked and broken lenses.

I'm tired of seeing just a portion of the backside of the tapestry,

a corner of the painting,

and I'm tired of only seeing a second in the story....

Yes.

I want to see the whole tapestry,

the whole painting,

and I want to read and know the whole story.

I know the beginning

I know the climax

and I know that God wins in the end.

The middle I'm figuring out as I live though.

And that can be a confusing, painful thing.

And yet...

at the same time it can be filled with love, joy, and peace.

It's a very confusing thing.

What would it look like if I put my all in Jesus.

All of my trust.

All of my faith.

All of my hope.

What if I really truly believe that my life was hidden up with Christ?

What if I really believe God loves me as much as He does?

What if.

....

I think I don't want to trust God sometimes because I'm scared that I don't deserve the things that he says to trust him about.

Cause I don't deserve it.

I don't deserve what he promises.

I don't deserve his love.

I don't deserve this eternal hope...

I don't.

"I don't" has kind of been the theme of my life.

And it's stopped there which is a bad thing.

Anything that starts with "I", should end with "but God."

I don't deserve what he promises, but God promises anyways.

I don't deserve his love, but God gives it to me anyways.

I don't deserve this eternal hope, but God has lavished it on me anyways.

But God.

Anywayssssssssssssssss

God is good.

 I'm thankful for 

God

praying (aka good conversation with God)

love

Stephen

life

family 

( ^ which includes people that are practically family and you know who you are--including but not limited to the Georges and Justin)

friends

people

reading for hours

bookssss

memories

musicccccccc

!Passion!

laughing

water

words

talking

thinking and pondering things

reading books that make me think

listening to sermons by--

Francis Chan;

Brian Colmery;

Chuck Bomar;

Todd Nighswonger;

Doug Fox;

Scott Mehl;

Louie Giglio;

Brad Buser;

Matt Moore;

and well you get the idea =P

baking

cooking

helping Mrs George with weddings

laughing at my sister

fresh bread

getting and giving hugs

listening to music

flip flops

cinnamon rolls

the color green

sunrises and sunsets

long rambling walks

thunderstorms

sunshine on my face

playing frisbee

listening to rain as you fall asleep

mint chocolate chip

big massive old trees

flowers

listening

watching

biting into apples

winds

rain

basketball

football

sports in general

clouds

pictures

wearing hoodies

jeans

fields

falling stars

dreaming

joy

peace

And the list goes on and on and on...

 Love you people.

Hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving.

Do you not love how it seems like I can't write until it seems like the bottom has once again fallen out from under me and there seems no way to capture what I feel--but yet how I feel compels me to at least attempt to convey my thoughts in words.

It's a very confusing thing really.

I've decided that writing is somewhat of a salve for me and my heart when it aches sometimes and my head won't shut up. It's a therapy of sorts, really.

At least for one as I it is.

The yesterday was a long day--today was good, but the end of it was rather long, for reasons that really have no need for being remembered or spoken about.

Anyways though when I got home I got out my bible and read, to be more specific I read Jeremiah because it is a book that I do love. And to be even more specific Jeremiah 29:10-14.

Now mind you I'm not in exile but nonetheless they're comforting verses.

Also I remembered a dear dear quote of mine that I re-read.

You know those things that you read and in different times and places in life that jump out to you that you never noticed before? I know, I know I've posted this before, but every time I read it--it comforts me.

I thought Bright Sadness sounded suspiciously like the battle cry of the optimist. The donning of rose colored glasses calling out in the night for all to see the bright side of despair. More of a personality flaw than a birthright. Not something I could really get behind as being something tangible. I was wrong, of course. Bright Sadness is not the act of dusting heartache with sugar and glazing bitterness and resentment with a toothy smile. It is having little to do with wistful optimism and everything to do with hope in the light of the truth.
Hope that promises will be kept, that a refuge will hold., that the sun will return, that seasons will change despite the weighty darkness and all evidence to the contrary.

Hope at the center of despair.

The footprints left, when we look back at the most tempestuous season of life, are purposeful, organized, significance in the chaos--evidence that we were remembered in our darkest and most vulnerable days.

-Emily

I don't understand this kind of hope, this kind of faith, this kind of trust, and the kind of love that all those things stem from. I don't understand them completely--but I know they're there.

I wish thing could pass from me but I'm wanting what you want

So bring me high or bring me low just hold me in your love.

I'm kind of tired kids.

I wish I was a better writer.

I wish right about now that I had a glimpse into the future to see what things will look like down the road.

Yet I'm incredibly thankful at the same time that I don't.

It's a dichotomy in my head.

My God really is bigger than anything isn't people?
Seriously.

I just need to keep screaming that to myself.

I love Stephen as well.

God give me strength to walk this path though.

Ok, I'm going to make my head shut up if it's the last thing I do. lol

Goodnight people.

I have new glasses.
And this is a bad picture.
lovemuch
Ming

Overheard countless times in the last two months: “I am concerned about the poor performance of my investments and savings.”

Not heard even one time in the last two decades:  “I am concerned about my poor performance in laying up treasure in heaven.”

-Dan Edelen

How apt is that?

Indeed, we are so worldly in not only our thoughts and actions, but in our very orientation.

Ouch.

Pictures...