One of my more coherent ramblings...at least I think so..I could be wrong though it's been known to happen from time to time =P

****Disclaimer: I wrote this like two weeks ago and was contemplating on whether or not I should post it. And it just didn't feel right at the time. So I didn't--but I was going through my drafts and happened upon it and decided to post it. --IF I SAY ANYTHING WRONG PLEASE TELL ME-- I really want to know. I don't mean to come across as preachy or in anyone's face this was just weighing heavy on my heart especially that particular night. All that being said....here ya go....****

It's after midnight and I have clinicals in the morning. Yipee.
Trust me I know I should be cuddled down in my bed fast asleep--but I feel like writing, and when I feel like writing...I have to write.

This idea has been bouncing around in my head for sometime.

What does it mean to be a friend?
What does it look like to be a friend?

"Friends" are a dime a dozen.
Where as it seems friends are really hard to come by.

You all I'm sure have heard

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity.

At all times.

Two weeks ago exactly this idea took root in my head and started to drive me crazy. (though many would argue that my sanity has left long ago)

All the time? Really?

I think alot of us like the idea of it--I mean it sounds nice right?

A friend loves at all times. "awwww"

But two weeks ago I was kinda pissed at the verse (excuse my language).

Why?

Cause of that stupid word all.

That word completely overhauled what felt right at that moment.

Because let's be honest--when someone you consider a friend uses you, abuses you, takes advantage of you, isn't at all nice to you, acts like they don't care...our initial feeling isn't one of love.

I wrote this in my journal when I was struggling with this idea--

"A friend loves at all times.

Not just the times when convenient.
Not just the times when it's easy.
Not just the times when they are loving in return.

All the time.

Even the times when it is hard.
Even the times when it is not convenient
Even the times when they are not loving.

All the time

God help me do this."

People hear my heart.

Can we do this?

Can we love all the time?

I was talking to Stephen the other day and just about how when family treats you less than ideal you still love them and you move on because they are your family--even when they screw up because you know what chances are you've screwed up too and they still love you.

I think many if not all of you would agree.

Right? I mean it sounds great--and you know what--that is the right thing to do.

That's what families do.

But that's not my point.

I was thinking about it more later though...

As a Christian--we're apart of a much bigger family.
One that reaches past silly things like ethnic, cultural, and social barriers.
One that extends beyond blood relatives.

What excuse do we have to treat our brothers and sisters in Christ--any different than we would treat someone who was tied to us because of DNA?

People--please hear my heart--I'm not trying to be preachy, I'm not trying to be pushy--but can we please please get along? Can we put aside our feelings and grudges--no matter how well founded they are? I'm not pointing fingers, I'm opening my heart. I'm not casting blame--God knows I've been bitter and angry and unforgiving countless times. But please I'm begging you all can we actually live in a way that doesn't make sense?

Can we forgive radically? Can we love unbelievably?

So that maybe finally we could actually look a little bit like the Church that God has called us to be?

Can we put aside our issues and realize at the end of the day we're all made of the same stuff. We're all dust and dirt and this world really is going to be gone in an instant.

Can we realize we're all broken, hurt, screwed up people that have been snatched from the pits of hell.

Can we finally give the world a window into a place that's not like anything they've ever seen before? Some place--where forgiveness is a reality and love really is the order of the day?

And can we move on.

It breaks my heart to think that people who were once the best of friends won't speak to each other.

That's Christianity?

Really?

Is this what I signed up for?

Is this what you signed up for?

Is this what you want the world to see?

This is what it means to be the Church?
The Bride of Christ?