Pain.

I learned from a young age that people can never be trusted not to leave you.

Friends come and go.

People lie.

People hurt people.

People use people.

I was about 7 when my best friend would have nothing to do with me because we left the church where they went.

I cried and asked God after praying for a best friend for years He would take her away.

Then the friends closest to me were caught in the middle of a messy divorce and I wasn't on the right "side".

People leave.

Maybe that's why I held on so tight for so long when I knew I should have let go.

I was so terrified that once again I would be left alone.

That no matter how much you love someone--they will leave.

It sucks.

But it's good.

If my life were easy I would never have to lean on God.

Had my friends never left me when I was a kid-I wouldn't know how to deal with this now nearly as well.

Had this not happened now I would not know how strong God really is.

God loves me to much to give me what I want.

And as much as I fight and squirm against His will.

As much as I shout at the heavens screaming for answers to my impossible questions.

At the end of the day...I am thankful.