What I have come to learn in the past coupleish months.

God really is good.

God can be trusted.

God knows more than I do.

God is faithful.

I am not in control of anything.

And that is a very good thing.

List

I am thankful for...(this is not an all inclusive list and not in any particular order)

Yes, I am a nerd and retarded for typing this all out but oh well lol

1. God.
2. Faith.
3. Mom and Dad.
4. The rest of my immediate and extended family.
5. Amazing Friends.
6. Forgiveness.
7. Thinking.
8. Books.
9. Words.
10. Good Conversation.
11. Laughter.
12. Smiling.
13. Bookstores.
14. Trees.
15. Love.
16. Grace.
17. Warm Cinnamon Rolls.
18. Homemade Bread.
19. Day Dreaming.
20. Sunsets.
21. Beautiful Music.
22. The smell of fresh cut grass.
23. Reading.
24. Apple Cider.
25. Long Rambling Walks.
26. Brant Hansen.
27. Makeup (sometimes).
28. Toms.
29. Music.
30. Mercy.
31. Lanie George.
32. Writing.
33. The Moon.
34. Good Movies.
35. Clear Night Skies.
36. Running.
37. The sound of rain falling on the roof as you fall asleep.
38. Blue.
39. Justice.
40. Green.
41. Tyler Clark.
42. Pain.
43. Tears.
44. Life.
45. Getting Packages.
46. The Sun.
47. Violin.
48. Spell Check.
49. Family.
50. Contacts.
51. Sunshine.
52. The smell of used books.
53. My Car.
54. Justin Glacken (best nonrelated brother ever)
55. New Clothes.
56. C.S. Lewis.
57. School.
58. Joy.
59. Summer Thunderstorms.
60. Fall.
61. Stepping on Crunchy Leaves.
62. Shorts.
63. The Country.
64. Hoodies.
65. Sleeping.
66. Blankets.
67. Silence.
68. Swimming.
69. Kids.
70. Church.
71. Peace.
72. Mountains.
73. Texting.
74. Phone Calls.
75. Flip Flops.
76. Dancing.
77. Spinning Around.
78. Patience.
79. Bubble Wrap.
80. Being Outside.
81. Cooking.
82. Baking.
83. Hot Chocolate.
84. Bonfires.
85. Fuzzy Socks.
86. Narnia.
87. Wind.
88. Prayer.
89. The Bible.
90. Granola.
91. Journals.
92. Sleep.
93. Running Shoes.
94. Fresh Pineapple.
95. People.
96. Dresses.
97. Water.
98. Francis Chan.
99. Honesty.
100. Thinking.
101. Driving with the Windows Down.
102. Hugs.
103. The Sea.
104. Misty Mornings.
105. Andrew Peterson.
106. Letters.
107. Good Food.
108. Ah ha moments in life.
109. Beauty.
110. Kisses.
111. Sunglasses.
112. Skirts.
113. Dogs.
114. Freedom.
115. Hot Showers.
116. Buttons.
117. Helping People.
118. Drawing.
119. Driving.
120. Jeans.
121. Nursing.
122. Good Memories.
123. Flowers.
124. My Hands.
125. Watermelon.
126. Fruit.
127. NPR radio.
128. Lord of the Rings.
129. Truth.
130. Sunrises.
131. My Job.
132. Perspective.
133. Tea.
134. Stars.
135. Laughing so hard you can't breath.
136. Good Quotes.
137. Clouds.
138. Smiles.
139. Running in the rain.
140. Hope.
141. Trials.
142. Ultimate Frisbee.
143. Water.
144. Parks.
145. Pens.
146. Swings.
147. Snow Days.
148. Spring.
149. Swimming.
150. That I am myself.

If you read all that I applaud you lol

Now I am going to go do something constructive with the rest of my day. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

The end :)

...

You are in the middle of your own story, and the Author is leading you somewhere.  There will be much to be afraid of in your future.  You will find yourself angry at times, shaking your fist at the sky.  You will find yourself weary and worn thin.  Remember that the writer of your story is leading you to a good land.  He is making you into something unimaginably beautiful, a shining immortal, a prince or princess in his eternal Kingdom.  There will be journeys in the seen world, and there will be journeys in the unseen one.

-Andrew Peterson

I love this.

This idea.

The hope that it contains.

I had a temper tantrum this morning of epic proportions.

I was very very much shaking my fist at the sky telling my God that I wanted to do things MY way.

I was tired of hurting. Tired of caring.

I wanted to check out.

I wanted to run away.

So.

Bad.

But I didn't.

I trusted in the midst of my unbelief.

And God showed up and pushed me to step out.

We'll see how it goes.

After All.

After All (Holy)

I can't comprehend your infinitely beautiful and perfect love

Oh I've dreamed dreams of majesty as brilliant as a billion stars

But they're never bright enough after all

You are Holy

Oh Holy

Holy, Holy, Holy

I will sing a song for you my God with everything I have in me

But it's never loud enough after all

Heaven and earth are full, full of your glory, glory

My soul it overflows full of your glory, your glory

Oh blessed is he who reigns, full of your glory, your glory

My cup, it can't contain all of your glory, your glory

Hosanna we are found after all you are

I can't comprehend

You're infinitely beautiful

I love the music at the beginning of that song.

I drove down the interstate tonight.

Windows down. Hair whipping in my face.

Under a beautiful raincloud filled sky

Singing this song at the top of my lungs.

As tears streamed down my freckled face.

And God whispered that He loved me and that he's got me.

As I probably blew my speakers out to be honest.

It was that loud.

And I'm sure the drivers in the cars next to me where wondering who the mental girl was next to them.

And the song is playing on repeat right now while I lay in bed typing lol

God knows exactly what I need and when I need it.

I needed that song today.

I wanted to listen to another one but got the CD's mixed up.

And I found that one.

I needed to start reading Sailing Between the Stars Saturday night.

Not the book I was looking for and couldn't find.

So I picked up that one.

God knew.

Without God at the center of the universe, without his smile on the edge of dawn, life would be avapor and mirage. But when he's present, all of life becomes drenched with possiblity; every moment become lined with purpose.

The idea that every moment, every life, every encounter could ultimately matter is the mostludicrous and necessary idea in the world. As soon as one life become expendable, all lives become expendable. As soon as one moment doesn't matter for eternity, the meaning of every moment is called into question. But if this moment is from God and for him, nothing is a means to an end. If everyone's destiny matters to Jesus, no one is a means to an end.

When I finally see that, a timelessness sweeps over me, borne of beauty and perspective. I realize, I am small, I am part of this world. I am a thread in a magnificent tapestry.

Life isn't simply a futile journey toward becoming fertilizer; it's a chance to dance toward eternity,hand in hand with the Poet of Time, while his stars, the glimmering jewelry of the night, wink at us from the sky.

Maybe someday I'll be able to look back and see the route up the mountain, it'll all make sense to myhead rather than simply to my heart. Until then I'm caught up in the thrilling romance of dancing with a rugged bridegroom toward the edge of eternity amidst the weird dreams, bad aim, and indecipherable miracles of life.

I read those parts over and over and over.

God knew that I needed this book in my life now.

I can't see right now.

I don't understand.

And that is ok.

Trust is what God wants from me.

And trust is what I am going to give.

While I stand on my tiptoes

Flinging my arms toward the heavens

And let everything that I've been holding onto fall from my hands.

He's got me kids.

He is never ever ever going to let me go.

And that ladies and gentleman is more than enough reason for me to smile.

God is big enough.

God is beautiful enough.

God is faithful enough.

God is good enough.

God is loving enough.

God is enough for me.

The end kids. The end.

Pain.

I learned from a young age that people can never be trusted not to leave you.

Friends come and go.

People lie.

People hurt people.

People use people.

I was about 7 when my best friend would have nothing to do with me because we left the church where they went.

I cried and asked God after praying for a best friend for years He would take her away.

Then the friends closest to me were caught in the middle of a messy divorce and I wasn't on the right "side".

People leave.

Maybe that's why I held on so tight for so long when I knew I should have let go.

I was so terrified that once again I would be left alone.

That no matter how much you love someone--they will leave.

It sucks.

But it's good.

If my life were easy I would never have to lean on God.

Had my friends never left me when I was a kid-I wouldn't know how to deal with this now nearly as well.

Had this not happened now I would not know how strong God really is.

God loves me to much to give me what I want.

And as much as I fight and squirm against His will.

As much as I shout at the heavens screaming for answers to my impossible questions.

At the end of the day...I am thankful.