My Savior He can move the mountains! =)

My Savior he can move the mountains

My God is might to save.

Yesterday was a lovely lovely day.

I am done with Psychology kids.

Done.

Forever and ever amen.

Rejoice with me.

Now I have 6 days of beautiful summer before I go back to school again. =P Yes, 6 days, and I don't even want to hear complaining when school starts for you guys. =P

Random coincidences make me happy with life too. *nod* Yes.

I have such an odd head. Very odd.

I am not normal.

This is rather disconcerting to me...

For God so what?

I love mornings.

Isaiah 38
17 Behold, it was for my welfare
that I had great bitterness;
but in love you have delivered my life
from the pit of destruction,
for you have cast all my sins
behind your back.

And I love that verse. In love God has rescued me. From the pit of destruction, from a pit I could not rescue myself out of, no one could rescue me out of--he has delivered my life--in love.

I love the imagery too; for you have cast all my sins behind your back. Isn't that beautiful? God picked up my sins, yes, they were horrid, yes, they were putrid, yes, they were awful, and he just threw them all behind his expansive, eternal, to big to imagine back. And no matter how hard I may look for them again, I'm not going to get them back....And another completely comforting thought--God will never ever turn his back to me.

He does all of this in love guys. because of love. Beautiful. Eternal. Pervasive. Never-ending. Perfect. Scandalous. Love.

I think we've wandered away from this simple, beautiful truth. I think we've mucked up the waters. I think we've stopped coming to God as a little child. We're so obsessed with finding out how to live this "Christian" life and figuring out stuff about God; when God just wants us to sit in his lap and talk, He wants you to get to know him, not just more about him. He wants us to slow down. pull back. and just enjoy him. Just go climb in his lap, rest your head on his chest and just know that he's got you.

"Oh but no Ming! God wants me to go to church every Sunday, he wants me to have a quiet time everyday, he wants me to serve in the gift wrap outreach! You haven't got your theology right somewhere! Are you sure you have your doctrine all lined up??"

No. I'm not sure that I have my doctrine and theology all nicely tied up in a neat little box with a bow on it. I don't have this all figured out yet, and honestly I hope I never think I have it all figured out-because the day I think I have this all figured out would be the start of walking a dangerous road for me.

Now I'm not saying that having quiet time, going to church, serving at the gift wrap outreach, are wrong things to do, they are great things to do! I love reading my Bible, I love church, I enjoy serving, and I pray constantly. I'm just saying God isn't psyched when you do if you aren't doing it because you just desparately love him. Does that make sense?

Micah 6
8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

This is what my God wants. For me to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with him.

Hosea
6 For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

I just was reading this verse this morning when something stuck out to me that I'd never thought about before.
This is what God desires, the knowledge of God. Not the knowledge about God...I don't know, maybe it's nothing, but a knowledge of God I think is different than knowledge about God.

You know what I find so...mind boggling about my God though? Is that even when I doubt his love, even when I question "is really there?" even when I don't do justice, I don't love kindness, I don't walk humbly with him, I don't have a steadfast love, and I don't have a knowledge of God--even then He is loving me out of the pit of my own destruction. Even then is he casting his love about me to draw me out.

No it doesn't make sense.

See you can't put a box about that, you can't put limits and expectations on a love like that.

You can't put a box around a God who would send his only Son to die for the world--in love for us.

For God so loved the world.

That's good news.

I know I've said this before--but I pray this never ever gets old to me.

Anyways goodmorning. =)

Everything Glorious.

The day is brighter here with You
The night is lighter than its hue
Would lead me to believe
Which leads me to believe

You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

My eyes are small but they have seen
the beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
there's light enough to see that
  ---------------------------------------------------

Doubts are such nasty little things. Even things that you are sure about, all it takes is one small doubt to seep into your head to turn your normally [somewhat] rational head into a boiling cauldron full of all sorts or ridiculous things. Silly thing is my head.

David Crowder music makes me happy. Guitar hero song. Oh yes.

Life kids. There is always something isn't there?

Here is something I heard Sunday and it was amazingness--ready?

"Does the Bible say Fix your eyes on your sin the author and perfecter of your faith? No! It says Fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith."

Have we become to introspective kids? Do we look to much at our sin at times? I'm not saying that we shouldn't repent...I'm just saying...what do you fix your eyes upon? Honestly. I'm saying this because I know I fix my eyes on my sin sometimes. I tend to study it, evaluate it, stare at it.

Scandalous grace. Unbelievable love.

Crazy crazy things kids.

That God would love us. That God would meet us right where we are. Love us right. where. we. are.

It makes no sense.

*shakes head*

No sense.

This has changed my life.

Forever and ever.

What is a girl to do?

Life, life, life.


*shakes head*

My favorite flower...I think. =P

Poppies

Make

My heart sing.

Wasn't it sweet of God to make these flowers?

And no silly kids I don't like them for the opium, I promise. =P

This is probably going to tick people off...

Here's my heart ripped open. I'm going to be honest. Scarily honest here. And if you don't want to get mad--then don't read this. Also feel free to send me emails that disagree with me, I honestly would love to dialog with people who don't agree with me. I really would, and I'm not going to try to convince you of anything--I just want to understand things better...

Ok deep breath...here we go kids.

Can't ignore it. Can't turn away. Can't excuse it. I just can't.

It'd be easier if I could. But I can't.
And it makes my heart ache.
You can think I'm weird.

What does it look like to love people like myself...
Practically what does that look like?

One day I will stand before God, and one day God will say to people depart from me, I never knew you.

Maybe I'm completely off, but I was reading Matthew and just sorta sat in chapter 25 for a while. The Final Judgment part.

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. 34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

....How do you explain this away? Yes, reading your bible is important, yes going to church is important, going on mission trips is great--but...I think there's more to it than this.


Imagine you have nothing to eat, your kids are starving to death and you have to sit there while you watch them waste away. Imagine it is frigid out and you have nothing to wear. 


Imagine you were like this--what would you do? What would you want people to do for you?


Love others as you love yourselves. Count others as more important than yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


We spout out those verses when convenient to us. When they don't stretch us, don't impede on our comfort and security.

God is a safe God.
  
Or....maybe not.


Maybe our God isn't tame and maybe just maybe he doesn't like being put in a box?

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me

Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change

I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you

                                                   

From every nation

God is calling out His own
A saved generation
that will not be overthrown

And we're not backing down, no way
We're finally seeing it clearly
One body, one church, one savior,
One call to praise

--------------------------------------------------------- 

There are days I wish I was normal. 

Friends.

"A friend is one before whom you may think aloud."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have a small handful of friends that I can actually "think aloud" to, well actually I have quite a few //Ming takes a moment to roughly figure out how many// maybe 7-- 10 at the most. That's not a ton mind you; but considering the things that go on in my head I'm rather surprised that, that many people are still willing to be friends with me--even after knowing my thoughts. Or perhaps I've scared them so badly that they simply tolerate me for fear of what I might do...that is actually a more believable explanation.

My friend Lauren Abe and I went and traversed Northlake together yesterday because she is leaving on a mission trip to go to New Orleans tomorrow and I sadly won't see her for quite some time. Probably upwards of a week. We hadn't hung out like that in a while so it was kind of quiet at first, well it wasn't quiet, it just was kind of casual conversation. After hanging out for a while though we started talking and I started thinking aloud while in Borders leaning up against a shelf in the children's section, while Lauren read random books like Pete Spit a Seed at Sue to lighten up the moments.

At Panera's for dinner, over my soup and Lauren's PB&J we discussed how experiences shape our view of things, even biblical things. And how there are times we wish we could just go to the Bible with unadulterated thoughts and mindsets, shedding negative feelings and just being able to embrace it in it's rawest form, and questioning between glasses of water and ice tea, if the things that we do--even the "good godly" things are because it's what God wants us to do, or could it maybe be because of man and man's tradition. Also over my apple and her yogurt we talked about life and how you really never know what's going to happen next. It was all together enjoyable.

She puts up with me and my thoughts, no matter how outlandish, crazy, and un-status quo type thoughts they are.

And you know what people, she listens. She doesn't come to me with an agenda, she doesn't try to find something wrong with what I say, she isn't looking for something to be wrong. She just listens. Then gives me her honest opinion. The people in this world that truly listen are getting fewer and farer between it seems to me. I'm fortunate to know quite a few that are left though.

But to those people who read this who I don't know very well, but are listeners. Thanks. Thanks for listening to people, and there's a difference between hearing people and listening to people. Trust me there's a world of difference.

And remember to thank God that he's a listening God...He's amazing.

Don't.

Does my life model Christ or tradition? Hmm?

Christianity or Christ?

Would I do anything for him? No, seriously--anything?

"Tradition limits our obedience." *gasp!!*
-Matt Moore

If you are content with the way you are being a Christian. If you are content with the status quo. If you are content with your life and how it's going. If you are content with your 30 min quiet time and prayer in the morning. If you are...comfortable. And if you want to stay comfortable.

Then don't listen to this.

Christianity vs Christ.

Am I infatuated with God? Am I captivated by Him? Am I crazy about Him????

So you know the story about the son who came home?
You know how I wrote about it.

Well Louie Giglio gave this sermon this Sunday and it was amazing.

I think you should listen to it, and then love God more because of it.

He loves you in a crazy way...

We sang this at Passion--remember Lauren? =)

This was one of my favorite Passion songs. This is what my heart longs for and cries out for. This is the Gospel, this is good news. Jesus died to set me free. The lyrics are amazing.

Can you picture it for a moment? Can you take a couple mins and imagine this?

You're standing before the throne of Heaven. In unison believers from across the centuries all stand and applaud their God.

Who renovated the human heart. Who took the broken and gave them brand new starts. Redeemed us with his blood so we could start at life again.

Imagine heaven standing to celebrate....

So please, drop your chains, whatever they are, and just run.

Run to the love that reaches deep and embrace the love that the Father has lavished upon us that we might be called children of God. Accept the full forgiveness he offers and run hard and fast, throwing off anything that keeps you from running.

We are free, we are free! =)
Run in liberty.!



Chain Breaker//Charlie Hall
All stand applaud your Father God
The maker King who never tires
Who renovates the human heart
and gives the broken brand new starts
Redemption flowing from his hand
We all can start at life again
Heaven stands to celebrate for the ones who come today

So come just as you are.
Chain breaker heart Savior
Jesus the great Redeemer
Life changer, liberator
Jesus the great redeemer.

From slavery to bravery
This is the love that reaches deep
And Jesus' cross split history
It lit the dark and set us free
Redemption flowing from his hand
We all can start at life again
Heaven stands to celebrate for the ones who come today

You are free
You are free
Yeah the Son has set you free
Drop your chains sons and daughters
Come and run in liberty

God as my...

God as my refuge,
God as my comfort,
God as my friend,
God as my rock,
God as my Salvation,
God as my shield,
God as my all.
My portion forever.

God likes me?

"Does God like you?" I asked a five-year-old little girl. She stifled a grin. She is a compassionate soul. "Yep," she said easily, confidently, certainly. "How do you know?" "Because of the way he talks to me. He just likes me. I recognize it in his voice."

I want to have faith like a child. I want to know that God likes me. He finds joy in me. Doesn't that sound sacrilegious even? Sure God loves me--but he likes me? He wants to spend time with me? He likes me? I asked a friend of mine the other day if they had ever dwelt on the fact that God finds joy in him. And they just kind of laughed and said "right..." I said, "No, seriously do you ever when you're feeling down, focus and meditate on the fact that God finds joy in you and likes you?" "Ming, when I think about God and what he thinks of me or his feelings towards me, I normally think that He's not happy with me because I keep messing up."

Sadly, I know how they feel. All to often I look at what I've done, my screw ups, my emotions that run all over the place, my sin, and I don't expect God to come running out to meet me when I get home. I don't expect a loving father ready to meet me with open arms and a shoulder for me to cry on. One that says, "Rejoice! My daughter is home!" That kind of love, acceptance, and grace--doesn't make sense. A father who is standing at the end of the drive-way with a scowl on his face with hardened eyes to meet me makes more sense. A father who says, "I love you, but don't think you can get away with this, there will be consequences. I love you, but you're going to have to earn my trust back. You're going to have to work for this." That makes sense to me.

I don't get God. He doesn't make sense to me.

I can say that I understand his love and grace--but I really don't. I don't understand this scandalous love and the conspiracy of this grace. I try to put His love in boxes, something I can understand, something I can grasp and explain.

Because I can't explain the love of the Father.

His love has tendrils that reach so much farther than I could ever dream.

I stumble home, beaten, bruised, ashamed, rejected, dirty, stained. My Father comes running out takes me in his arms. I try to struggle to get free from his embrace--I don't deserve this! I don't deserve this love! I try to get free, this doesn't make sense! He just holds me tighter until I can't fight anymore and just collapse sobbing in his arms. He whispers in my ear, "I love you Ming.....welcome home." And then screams for all of heaven to hear, "REJOICE! She's home!"

I don't get that love. It doesn't make sense.

But it's changed my life. That much I know.

Undeservedly,
You ran out to meet me, broken and needy.
Unreservedly,
You wrap me in Your robes of royalty.

For in the quiet you whisper my name
As a father to a son coming home once again
And my response to your passionate call
Is to humble myself and give you my all

Paradox

The greatness of God rouses fear within us, but His goodness encourages us not to be afraid of Him. To fear and not be afraid--that is the paradox of faith.
A.W. Tozer
-------------------------------------

Just for everyone's fyi--Tozer and I are friends now. =P

Also I'm trying to purge "lol" from my system--it's harder than you might first think, let me tell you...

Why do I have to be so scared sometimes that who I am is not enough?

Ok, fact is I can't sleep. I tried, but I can't.

In alot of ways I'm secure-I'm secure in the fact that God loves me, my identity is found in Christ alone--which is pretty much the most secure identity that one is ever ever going to find. And then in alot of ways I'm insecure, or at least sometimes my insecurities rear their ugly heads. Yes, there are times that I can sing a song like Ups & Downs and really truly mean it. There are times that I can sing that to live and to love is dangerous but it's better than playing it safe. There really are times that I can truly sing that. And then there are other times...

There's other times when I'm laying in the dark when night no longer seems like a friend. When the night presses all around and reminds me that I have no guarantees right now. Instead of a kind friend who wraps himself around me and lulls me to sleep, he becomes a enemy who just whispers things in my ear. There are times like these that I can not truly sing that I believe that the dangerous things of loving and living are better than playing it safe. Right now playing it safe sounds so tempting an alluring.

Being honest is hard, it's laying your heart out there...and it's not easy. And I'm not even laying out my whole heart here...lol

I don't want to be honest right now. I don't. I want to wear a mask. I want to paste a smile on my face. I want to write happy things. I desperately want to be fake right now. I don't want to be honest to myself.
I don't want to look myself in the mirror and be secure. If I wasn't secure then maybe I would have more motivation to become someone that would be more acceptable...
I don't want to admit that I get so tired sometimes...
I don't want to admit that I'm really insecure sometimes.
I don't want to admit that the reason that I wish all these things is because I want to be the idea of what a perfect girl is.
I don't want to admit that I'm not just happy happy happy all the time.
I don't want to admit that I'm crying right now.
I don't want to admit that everything I've said is really how I feel.

God save me. Love me where I'm at.
Overwhelm me. See my longing for You.
Revive me.
Let me run to you and sit in your lap for a while and we'll just talk.
Please meet me here. now. I need you.
Sit, you know we don't even need to talk, we can just sit, your presence comforting me...
I love you so.
In Jesus Name Amen.
Ming

Cause I'm bored and I can. =P

I like my cork board. =)
starting in the left hand corner, starting there because I want to. =)
1. A couple roses that I got for graduation.
2. The number 19 that looks amazing
3. A paper crane Alise gave me. =)
4. Movie tickets--the one on the top; Prince Caspian.
5. Passion!!! map and wristband.
6. David Crowder poster andddd on top of that my CM name tag.
7. Red ribbon.
8. Tag from Cornerstone.
9. Note from Lauren about some gum she gave me. lol
10. A picture of an aston martin--and under that is a thing from mini golf. =P


Lauren look! My bed is finally cleared off. =P If you know me very well then you probably know that I normally have books piled up on my bed. But my mother who is so sweet went and got me a basket and told me to put them in the basket at the side of my bed. =)

(Isn't it lovely. =P)

My basket. =)

Made me smile. =P

Beatbox Fame Game
by loranger

Uh oh.... I'm thinking...

Do we live lives that don't make sense?

Hmm?

I was talking to my mom about this last night--we really don't live life like we're going to spend an eternity in heaven. We really don't. To be perfectly honest here guys--this scares me.

Why? Because even if God doesn't exist--our lives look pretty dang good. I'm sitting here as a doctors daughter sitting in a room that has more opulence in it than many people in the world only dream about. Only about 12% of people have a computer like the one I'm using sitting on my bed. And even less have internet connection.

I have a refrigerator with food in it, a closet with clothes in it, a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. I'm richer than 75% of the world population.

Over 50% live on $2 a day.

What if God isn't real? What if Heaven doesn't exist? What if everything I say I believe is false?

...It's not that big of a deal, my life doesn't look that bad. I live a really comfortable life.

So, anyways sorry for that little tangent--but I was talking to my mom last night and I asked her, "How crazy would it be if we Christians actually lived like it seems to me we're called to live." Of course she then asked me what I meant. I replied, "Well mom what if we were to actually invite, for example homeless people to our houses for dinner, people who we knew wouldn't be able to invite us back."

Ok and I know that Jesus said, "invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind," And it's easy for me to say, "Oh, I've had disabled people over to my house for dinner!" pfffff. Um...yeah, I think if I were to say that I would have missed the point. Think about it--the crippled, lame, blind--what happened to them in Jesus' day? How did they live, survive?....anyways yeah.

Then I continued on my ramblings to my mother =P. "And mom, what about when Jesus says lend to anyone who asks of you and don't even ask for it back? How often do you hear that verse talked about among Christians mom? And you know what I find so funny about it never being talked about? What I find funny is that it's sandwiched right between two verses that adults love to talk about, especially to their kids. The one before it is about how if someone hits you on the cheek you are to let them strike the other also, and the one after it is about treating others as you would want them to treat you. Isn't it funny though how we kind of just gloss over the verse that actually kind of stretches us? That actually kind of cuts into how we do things? We live these sanitized Christian lives that look good. They even look really good from the outside--but it this honestly the road that Jesus wants us to walk? Is this it? When we get to heaven I honestly think that alot of us are going to feel so stupid for the way we lived and what we pursued here on earth."

The ramblings of a....I don't even know what to label myself anymore. =P I give up. lol

And once again, if I'm wrong about any of this--please please let me know. If I've completely lost it and am totally not interpreting the Bible right, honestly! Just tell me. Please don't just sit there and shake your head going, "That poor misguided girl who has her doctrine and theology all messed up...poor thing, I just hope God opens her eyes one day." No, please just tell me what I have wrong. I promise you that I'm willing to listen and learn--I want to learn. Anyways I'll be quiet now. =P

"When I understand what God has done and I understand how I've offended him--when I've accepted his payment for my sin. Something spiritually inside of me happens beyond religious routine. And the Scriptures are so clear about this--when God looks at me he doesn't not see Chuck and his sin, He sees Christ! Do you understand that? See when God looks at you if you are a Christian, He does not see you! He sees your spiritual identity which is Christ."
-Chuck Bomar

Kinda mind boggling isn't it?

*wince*

Disclaimer: This is all stuff that I've had to work out in myself and I'm just throwing it out there...

What do you do when you tell God to put something up and you don't want to?

Do you listen to his voice? Or do you not put it up for fear that people might be offended or take it the wrong way?

It's a choice. I'm choosing to listen.

*takes a deep breath*

Here we go.

People--when does what we live and believe.... become a religion?

I've said before--I love theology and learning about God, but now I want to know God.

Do we believe that we have a corner on the market? That our faith, the way we do things is better than other people's?

No seriously think about it.

I know it seeped into my thinking. It just crept in, slowly permeated my thoughts. People that thought differently than me or my church--simply didn't understand.

Ok, here's a question that I don't want to ask but I feel like I have to so here it goes.

If someone were living today, was brilliant, and made amazing theological discoveries...yet killed people who didn't agree with him...would you follow him? What if he wrote amazing books would you read them?

Would you consider yourself a Calvinist? *wince* Go do some research, it's slightly disturbing....I think John Calvin is a good example of someone who knew alot about God--yet missed God's heart.

I'm going to be honest here--forget Calvinism, forget Armenianism, forget Catholics, forget Baptists, forget Sovereign Grace, forget New Frontiers, honestly people. Forget it all. Dump the baggage and let it go.

Let's find our identities in Christ and Christ alone.

I don't follow C.J Mahaney, John Piper, Francis Chan, Brian Colmery, Josh Harris, John McArther, John Calvin, R.C. Sproul, Jerry Bridges, and the list goes on.

I follow Jesus.

I'm committed to loving him and loving everyone around me. And if that's not a radical life I don't know what is.

Forget homeschooling, public schooling, private schooling. Can we just stop arguing about stuff? Can we shed the chains and shackles that we've placed on ourselves and try to place on others? And can we remember it is for freedom we've been set free?

Can we commit our lives to following a God that doesn't always make sense? Who doesn't always do the thinks we know he could, who doesn't always say the things we wish he would, and who doesn't think the thoughts that we think he should.

Yeah...and you know what maybe I'm completely off...maybe I'm not seeing things clearly right now. Maybe I'm not...

And if you don't think I am thinking the right things and you think I'm completely--please please please let me know. I'm open to talking to anyone.

Anyways there you go everyone.

Maybe I'm losing my mind. lol Who knows. =P

"Pretty amazing, isn't it?" Daniel said.
"What's that?"
"All these rooms, all this art, all this opulence...and for what?"
There was no missing the sadness in his voice. "I mean, honestly, did any of this stuff draw people one inch closer to God?"
Tyler turned the camera on his father. "What do you mean?"
"I mean all of this...these statues and alters and gold and paintings. This isn't what God is about."
"Go on," Tyler encouraged. He watched his father rub his forehead, struggling to find the words.
"Think of it, Ty. You got this Giovanetti fellow creating all these gorgeous paintings, make everything nice and pretty for the religious aristocracy, while about the same time, just a few hundred yards from here, out in the streets, people are dropping like flies from the black plague."
"Religion at its finest," Tyler said.
"What's that?"
He zoomed tighter on his father's face. "Couldn't you say the same thing about your own church?"
Daniel frowned. "What do you mean?"
"How's this any different from your cushy theater seats or your big-screen projectors or your plush carpeting?"
"I'm not sure I follow."
But he did follow; Tyler could see it through the viewfinder.
"Religion is religion, Dad. It doesn't matter how you disguise it. It's all about guys in charge wanting to stay in charge. Get your little God machine built, stay as comfortable as possible, keep it running as long as possible."
"Son, I don't think that's entirely--"
"I'm afraid he has a point," Nayra agreed. Tyler turned to bring her into a close-up. "Christianity is full of people killing and torturing others so they can stay in power. You heard what Jean Mark said in teh car about the poor people who simply wanted to own a Bible. And what about the Inquisition or the Crusades or the--"
"Whoa, wait a minute," Tyler said, zooming out to include both of them in his shot. "What makes Islam any better that Christianity? What about the millions of Muslims have killed, the people they're killing today? What about the wackos who bombed the embassies, who destroyed the World Trade Center, who are blowing up themselves up in suicide--"
"That is a fringe minority."
"Is it? What about the million you wiped out in Turkey, or the Christians you wiped out during the Middle Ages, or--"
"We were defending truth."
"Whose truth? Seems to me, God is big enough to protect his own truth, don't you think?"
"Certainly," Daniel agreed, "but we have a responsibility to the people--"
"The people?" Tyler almost laughed. "Religion doesn't care about people. Protestants, Catholics, Muslims--it's all the same. All religion cars about is being right and being in charge."

The Face of God.

hmmm

I like my desktop. =P

So yes.
lovely.
Today is a beautifulish day, or so I think.
I went outside last night before the thunderstorm and watched the clouds roll in and the lighting split the sky and listened to the thunder roll.
Amazingness.


[_]
Don't put God in a box.
Please please don't put God in a box.
I promise you he won't fit, and that if you do try to put him in a box;
I can promise you this
1. He won't fit.
2. And if he doesn't fit...
3. Then you're going to get something that isn't completely God.
4. But you are going to think it is completely God.
5. And that is a scary thing to have.

Also why am I the way that I am? That's the question of my lifetime isn't it?
-------------------------------------

Don't stop your crying on my account
A frightening lion, no doubt
He's not safe, no he's not safe
Are you tempted now to run away?
The King above all Kings is coming down
But He won't say the words you wish that he would
Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think He should
But He is good, He is good
I know you're thirsty, the water is free
But I should warn you, it costs everything
Well, He's not fair, no He's not fair
When He fixes what's beyond repair
And graces everyone that don't deserve
No one knows Him whom eyes never seen
No, I don't know Him but He knows me
He knows me, He knows me
Lay down your layers, shed off your skin
But without His incision, you can't enter in
He cuts deep, yeah He cuts deep
When the risk is great and the talk is cheap
But never leaves a wounded one behind
----------------
Now playing: Kendall Payne - Aslan
via FoxyTunes
----------------------------------
I will pray for you now, for you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I couldn't not ask for more than what you've already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me
May your heart break enough that compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build and place upon your head
May they all fall, come crashing down around your feet
May you find every step to be harder than the last
So your character grows greater every stride
May your company be of humble insignificance
May your weakness be your only source of pride
What you do unto others may it all be done to you
May you meet the One who made us
And see Him smile when life is through
May your blessings be many but not what you hoped they'd be
And when you look upon the broken
May mercy show you what you could not see
May you never be sure of any plans you desire
But you'd learn to trust the plan He has for you
May your passions be tried and tested in the holy fire
May you fight with all your life for what is true
I have prayed for you now all my dear and faithful friends
But what I wish is more than I could ever speak
As the way wanders on I'll long to see you once again
Until then, would you pray these prayers for me?
Oh, that you would pray for me
----------------
Now playing: Kendall Payne - Pray
via FoxyTunes

=P

I can talk the talk.

=P

I can talk the talk rather well.

Christianese is something that you become very good at growing up your whole life in the church.

Pffffft, I try not to use it alot though--unless I really really mean it.

But I would like everyone to know I owned Justin last night, that's right owned. =P

And Sterling is hilarious. lol

I seriously seriously love God guys. Seriously. =)

"Pretty amazing, isn't it?" Daniel said.
"What's that?"
"All these rooms, all this art, all this opulence...and for what?"
There was no missing the sadness in his voice. "I mean, honestly, did any of this stuff draw people one inch closer to God?"
Tyler turned the camera on his father. "What do you mean?"
"I mean all of this...these statues and alters and gold and paintings. This isn't what God is about."
"Go on," Tyler encouraged. He watched his father rub his forehead, struggling to find the words.
"Think of it, Ty. You got this Giovanetti fellow creating all these gorgeous paintings, make everything nice and pretty for the religious aristocracy, while about the same time, just a few hundred yards from here, out in the streets, people are dropping like flies from the black plague."

-The Face of God

knowing about, and knowing

I know alot about God.

No, I don't know as much about God as some people.

But...I think...I think that I'm done pursing knowledge about God.

Theology and doctrine are amazing and great don't get me wrong.

But you can know alot about God--and yet completely miss him.

A good example of that-- Jonah. Jonah knew alot about God, his theology and understanding of God was incredible. He knew alot about God, read through his theology in the book of Jonah and the things he understood about God was incredible.

But he missed something that was at the core of his God. God loves the world.

He could have taught a theology class, he knew alot about God...but he...missed it.

Another example? The pharisees, they knew alot about God. They memorized the Bible, they prayed, they were holy. Yet...when the Son of God came to town--they missed it. When God in the flesh came; they completely missed it. They knew alot about God--but they didn't know him.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that memorizing your Bible, praying and being holy are bad things. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that apart from knowing God--they are pointless.

See...

I want to know God.

Personally.

I want to know His heart.

I want my heart to be moved by what moves God's heart.

I want to love what he loves.

I want my heart to beat for what God's heart beats for.


Guys--it's just like the difference between knowing about a person and actually knowing them.

Many of you that read this regularly probably know alot about me, I'm a pretty open person.

You probably know that I just recently turned 18.
You may know that I enjoy reading, writing, music [except screaming], that I like to think, and that I'm tall and I'm kind of crazy and altogether odd. =P

But, alot of you probably don't know me, only a small handful of people that read this actually know me.
What am I passionate about? What makes me laugh? What kind of person am I? Could we carry on a conversation for hours that goes beyond chit-chat? Do you know what my heart beats for? Do you know what keeps me awake at night? What I consider counter-cultural? What I love? What I hate?

See you can know alot about a person....and completely miss who they are.

I'm not willing to do that with God.

I want to know about him--sure, but above all else I want to know him.

And the amazing thing is, is that as you get to know God--you'll get to know about Him too. Know His heart and you will know His character.

Let's get back to the basics. =)

Anyways *shrug* the stuff that goes through my head. =P

Love you all.

Seriously I mean that too.

=)

Ming

I want.

I want to be genuinely excited about God.

I want to genuinely have a joy and excitement that you can just see.

I want to genuinely have an unexplainable trust and faith in God.

I want to genuinely love God.

I want to really truly with every part of me be saturated in the love of God.

I want it to pervade ever part of my soul and transform me.

Not conform me--but transform me.

Is this crazy to want?

Yeah pretty much.

Good thing God's bigger than me huh?

dum dee dum. =)

We sing it in the darkest place
Cause love is in Your powerful name
Shine the light of beauty and grace
We’re living in the name that can save

We sing to You the song of the redeemed
You’ve beautified our hearts and made us clean
You’ve rescued us from death and set us free
We sing to You the song of the redeemed

----------------
Now playing: Charlie Hall Song of the Redeemed


God's stupendous.
That's all I've got to say about that. =)
Actually I have more to say. =P
I refuse to be an adult.
I can't be this old yet.
It's just not possible.
I think this is a dream and I'm going to wake up any moment now as a 12 year old on the bottom of my bunk bed.
*any second now*
=P
Anyways I'm re-reading The Face of God. *jaw drop* Amazingness. I can't believe how much symbolism is in it that I missed.
Why do I love the book so much?
Becauseeee
It makes me realize that LOVE is what God wants the most from me.
He no longer calls me a servant but a friend.
And more than a friend he calls me his daughter.
*stunned*
Isn't it amazing how quickly we lose sight of that though?
What have I been set free for?
Freedom?
0.o
That's pretty crazy.
You know what would be crazy guys?
It would be crazy we treated power and money like they are as dangerous as they are.
I love learning.
I love it when you're just laying in bed having a conversation with God, and he opens your eyes to something.
It's kind of cool.
I missed having that.
God loves me.
*nod*
=)
I'm not just saying that because it's the right thing to say.
I'm not saying that in a stupid cliche way.
I'm saying that because with every cell in my body I believe it.
Please internalize this.

God.
Loves.
You.

Know it.
Rest in it.

God.
Is.
Love.
=)

4th.

Happy Fourth Of July Everyone! =)

I've thrown it all away that I might gain a life in You
I've found all else is loss compared to the joys of knowing You
Your beauty and Your majesty are far beyond compare
You've won my heart, now this will be my prayer

-------------------------------------------------
Justin Glacken thinks I am; creepy and weird.
People.
You seriously have no idea. =P
I am crazy and not normal.
And that is incredibly comforting to me.
The best part about it--is this is really truly honestly me.
I'm not faking this.
I promise.
Guess what.
I'm feeling like myself--in every sense of the word.

Seriously though am I that wacked?

randomly simple.

Simple heart, simple faith.

Hmmmmm.

Grapefruit juice is amazing. Yes.
Not as amazing as water though.
Who'd a thought that mixing hydrogen with oxygen would yield something so amazing?

Weather outside. AMAZING.
Yes. it is gorgeous out. gorgeous.
76 in July.
Oh yes.
My window is open.

I don't have this whole faith, relationship with God, trust, ect thing sewn up--but I know it's going to be ok, and that it will all work out.

I know.

And with that knowledge how can life not be golden.?

Although when podcasts don't update--it is rather frustrating. =P

hmmmmmm

I sit here and I am so done with Developmental Psychology.

You have no idea how done I am with it. lol

That and massively long argument papers.

Does my life look crazy to people who don't have God? Or is my life still making to much sense....

When I die all I want people to remember me for is a girl who had a great big God who she was desperately in love with, a person who just loved everyone because of the way God loved her, and seeked to serve others more than she served herself.

And I also genuinely want this to be me.

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love.
=)