Confession

All my life I have struggled.

I struggle with feeling unqualified and never feeling adequate. Comparison is the monster that has stalked me and stolen much of the joy that is to be had out of life. I want to be as smart as X, as pretty as Y, as kind as H, ect ect ect. I want to be perfect and I get so frustrated when I always fall short of that standard.

It's only been for the past couple years that I have been able to look at myself and appreciate my quirkiness and enjoy just being Ming.

So my people I am going to be unashamedly myself. Ming-Wai Marie Ng. And if you don't like me because of that...well then it will probably bother the heck out of me and drive me crazy (because that is who I am)--but slowly I will learn that you do not define who I am and that is ok. 

So here we go...

My name is Ming and I am quirky and rather altogether strange.

I am a character in a most epic story and I pray that I play my part well and to the best of my ability.

I love Jesus and am a Christian but am deeply saddened by the way individuals use religion as a weapon to hurt people.

I love stories and books. I am supremely happy walking the aisles of a used bookstore and running my fingers along the spines of dearly loved volumes.

I over analyze everything.

I simultaneously love people and can't stand them sometimes.

Music is something that I run to when I feel like I'm falling.

I drink tea and not coffee because I do not want to become dependent of caffeine.

My desire is to not care much for stuff. Ie. If my car gets a scratch in it or gets wrecked -- life will still be ok. If my house burns or a flood sweeps it away -- at the end of the day they are only material things. May I constantly remind myself that people should always take priority.

I'd rather someone think I am somewhat smart than pretty.

I don't think I'm ugly but I realize I'm no Victoria Secret model and I'm really ok with that--there are more important things in life.

I love being outdoors and beautiful weather makes my heart sing.

Reese peanut butter cups are my favorite chocolate candy.

I will do anything for my friends.

I am too loyal and trust too easily.

I think carrying around a purse that is worth more money than I would ever carry in it is stupid lol but I do realize that I am weird and don't judge people who do lol

I just want a purse big enough to carry a book around in.

I love beauty and try often to let myself be swept away in the wonder of it all.

Love is a beautiful thing.

I like salty snacks more than candy.

Being in the woods is cathartic for me.

I sponsor four adorable children through Compassion International and I adore them.

I am a very opinionated person but hate making people upset so I keep quiet about my opinions sometimes.

I love working in health care and taking care of people even if it drives me crazy.

I am extremely indecisive and over think everything.

Good conversation and good food make me happy.

I love that the Bible is scandelous

I love flowers.

I would be very happy with a day to just putter around the house by myself with a book and my thoughts to get lost in.

I love people but I am very capable of entertaining myself.

I love that I can't put God in a box but it is incredibly frustrating to me at the same time.

This morning I was walking to my car on my way to have breakfast with my grandparents when I heard a woodpecker, I stopped for a moment to enjoy it and marvel that there are birds who hammer holes in trees.

Wonder surrounds me--I fight to keep my eyes open to it and not become blind.

My desire is that money not get a hold of my life.

I want to be the widow with two mites rather than the rich young ruler.

I love to drink the beauty of a sunset.

I love children.

Hanging around with children reminds me the world still hums with magic.

C.S. Lewis, Brant Hansen, Francis Chan, Lanie George, my Mom, N.D. Wilson, Andrew Peterson, Jason Gray have all influenced the way I view the world and I am forever grateful to them.

I believe that laughter is some of the best medicine in the world.

I would rather wear something comfortable than dress up.

Joy is something that is obtainable regardless of your circumstances.

Love, grace and mercy are what keep this world spinning.

Words are like food to me sometimes and I greatly admire people who can spin words to do their bidding.

Bam. 

There you go--me in a very small nutshell. Love me or hate me. I am not normal and I am ok with it...kinda. lol Thank you all for putting up with me--your friendship is very much appreciated and valued :)