=)

So I'm pretty psyched. I decided that I'm gonna post audio clips now along with my quotes... So now you guys are going to be bombarded with audio clips of things I find amazing. Forget my typing all the stuff out. =P Well.... never mind, I probably will still type it out. Still! =P

Sanctus Real has amazing music. lol
Yesterday was fun.

Words or Actions?

It's so easy to say things. It's so easy to say some words-- type some words.

And it's something I've been thinking about today. It's something I'm really good at; spitting out words. Sometimes it's hard to get me started, but once I do get started it's just as hard to make me shut up. =P But when it comes down to it---words serve me. It's alot easier to say something than actually follow through with it.

And you know how sometimes you'll say something and you'll feel better just because you said it, but then you never actually get around to doing it it? This is something I do much to often.

Where as actions actually serve other people. Instead of just talking about stuff...isn't it a novel idea for me to actually do it? Instead of saying I'm going to study this weekend and making myself feel better-- isn't in a novel idea for me to actually stop just saying I'm going to study and actually just study?

It's not enough for me to just be convicted about things--it's not even enough for me to say I was convicted about something. It's not until that conviction actually invades and changes my life that it actually means anything. Just being convicted about something isn't enough. I need to follow through on those convictions.

It's not enough for me to be convicted that I need to love people more. It's not enough for me to sit here and tell you guys that I've been convicted more. It's not until I actually start loving people more that anything happens and I start serving others instead of myself...

I think to often we raise people up because of their convictions. "Oh that's great that God's convicting you!" Is it really? I mean I see where they are coming from; but is it a good thing that God's convicting them if they aren't going to respond to it? I don't know... This is just the sort of stuff that runs through my head while cleaning the kitchen and vacuuming. =P

So guys I really really need you to watch me and make sure I'm actually living this and not just spewing out a bunch of words.....And if I'm not I need you to tell me. Seriously.

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Now playing: Sanctus Real - Alone

Coffee house was fun. I'm tired.

Long version. really long version.

Wednesday was as you all probably know, was Halloween. We went over to Sterling's this year and had dinner with him and some other people. My parents were going to do something else that evening so it worked. Then the entirety of my siblings excluding myself went candy collecting and I got to stay with Ms. Linda, clean the kitchen, and talk. I haven't seen her in months so I had alot of fun. =) She's amazing, when she went to Michigan she got me a sticker for my car. I was pretty psyched. Yeah she's pretty much the coolest adult ever. lol

Anyways, all the fun we had that night sort of was forgotten when we were leaving. Let me tell you why--- as far as I can figure out my brother decided to get out of the car to get some candy that had dropped on the ground while I was backing up. It was my fault I wasn't thinking and wasn't being responsible and I didn't check to see what he was doing. Somehow while I was backing up he tripped and his leg got under the car. All of a sudden he starts screaming and then Ying starts screaming at me that I've run over Jun-Fung. I am sorta in shock and disoriented at this point. I just sit in the car for a few seconds and was thinking to myself "Ok this can't be happening. But if it is...I don't want to freak out here and step on the gas when it's in reverse, thinking it's in drive so that I can get off his leg...so how do I put this car in drive." No kidding I was like so out of it. I sat there then switched it to drive and slowly pulled forward. ... Which lead to more screaming. Jun-Fung, ofcourse was scared and Ying was just screaming for me to stop. So I stopped. I put the car in park and run over to the other side of the car. By that time everyone is outside and we carry Jun-Fung and set him on the couch, and then Ms. Karen starts bending his leg and stuff to see if it's broken or something. I was still in shock I started to have visions of like his leg crushed. She called my parents and they said they'd meet us at the ER. So we go and put Jun-Fung in the car. I think it sorta hit me at that point anddd I sorta lost it...Yeah. So we drive over to the ER. My dad looks at it and says he thinks it's just soft tissue damage. But he wants an x-ray just to be sure. At this point Mrs. Glacken and Justin get there. Now Justin you know I love you to death and you're like a brother but yeah. =P

The whole time Ms. Karen and Ms. Linda and Mrs. Glacken are all telling me that it's not my fault and that it was an accident and that I'll learn from it and that I needed to trust God. Now I know/knew all of that stuff. But the fact of the freaking matter was I ran over my little brother. All I had to have done was just check and make sure that everyone was in their seats and buckled up. But did I? No I forgot. And I shouldn't have. Lol to be perfectly honest I didn't want to feel better about it...idk it's like I wanted to feel really bad about it and I did...
But I think the most annoying thing in the world is when you want to do something but you know it isn't right.

I got that God had forgiven me. I got that no one was mad at me. But it didn't make sense...I think I would have rather God, my parents, someone! had been mad at me. But since no one was getting mad at me. It's like I felt that I had to be at myself...it just didn't seem right not to be. You know it's really easy being the person that hasn't done anything-- it's easy being that person and telling the person who has done something that, "God isn't mad at them and that he forgives them and then they need to forgive themselves because it's what He would want, and it's not helping anyone, and just hurting them." (I've told it to people before and it's what my dad told me) Well it's really freaking hard being the person who has done something and has to forgive themselves-- let me tell you.

So yeah I was/am really humbled. And I'm so so thankful that Jun-Fung is ok. My God is good.

In other news the Tapestry party was pretty happenin' yesterday. =P No, it seriously it went really well. And Justin's little outfit was really cute. =P Should I post a picture Justin? lol

I like being the picture taker....


I hadn't seen her in forever and a day.


isn't it amazing =)


See Ms. Linda just makes Michigan cool. lol

oh dear.

So guys. How was your Halloween?
Mine was good...until I ran my brother over...ugh. It was my fault I didn't check I was being irresponsible.
What happened I think was that he was getting his candy or something that had fallen out and somehow when I was backing up he tripped and somehow his left leg got pinched by the right front wheel tire. It's a really long story that's just easier to tell in person or like in a conversation and I don't really have time to type it all up right now. Maybe later. But so you know he's really completely fine and he's running around so yeah I'm sooo thankful that it's not worth. God's amazing.
I've decided that even though it's good that people don't let you blame yourself and get mad at yourself. Sometimes at the time you just want to. idk I'm not thinking clearly right now I'm so tired....lol This probably makes no sense