Thursday, December 28, 2006


Now that Christmas is done and over with, part of me breaths a sigh of relief.
And part of me feels bad about feeling such relief.
I somehow feel like I should mourn the fact that Christmas is over and that it only comes once a year.
And I guess if Christmas was just celebrating Christs birth then I should and, probably would feel that way.
But everyone gets so caught up in the commercialized part of Christmas.
Now I will say that I don't think there is anything wrong with getting excited about getting people things (I probably say that because I have way to much fun doing it). =P
But the side of writing lists miles long about all that you want and what you could get just seems so insignificant and pointless.
Christmas is supposedly a time of giving.
Then why is it during this shopping season, especially during a sale people are racing to the shelves and almost killing each other over a stupid toy or something?
And why is this the time of the year when people are most stressed out?

I love to celebrate Jesus's birth and marvel at the fact that God loves us silly people enough to send his own son down to become one of us, and ultimately kill him. Blows my mind.
And I love buying gifts for people and giving it to them. And knowing that they liked it. hehe that's fun.
But I don't know. I wish I was 5 when I think about this kinda stuff. lol

I'm probably just being cynical and grouchy.
But yes, hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! I really do mean it too! =)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

corny I know.

Have you ever looked at something beautiful and ached?
A longing you can't place your soul positively cries out in agony at the beauty of it.
Somehow though I never get that feeling looking as something man made, whether it is building ect.
Nothing gives me the feeling like sunset or a mountain range or an eagle taking flight.
Somehow in those moments I hear God say;
G "You're mine. And you were made for so much more than this."
M"I wonder why do you love me so much? I have done absolutely nothing to deserve this beautiful scene in front of my eyes, much less something better."
G"I love you. That is enough. Oh and thats child's play wait till you see what I've got in store. It will take your breath away. And then I'll have something better than that. Take that."
M"What choice do I have? =)"
G"Good point. *laughs*"
[I know it was corny get over it]

Monday, November 20, 2006

Lift your eyes...

Today is one of the days where there is an ache in my heart and I don't know why...
I'm longing for something but I don't even know what. No matter what I do I find nothing that satisfies. Until I lift my eyes unto the cross.
It is in these moments I am absolutely 100% sure that I was created for something so much more than this.

Lift your Eyes Leeland
You can look in your head and find no answer
You can look in your heart and find no hope
And you can crawl on the ocean floor
Searching for the silver pearl
But you won’t find the treasure in this world

You can lift your eyes
Come on to the cross
There is healing for all who come


If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other causes for prejudice by noon.
George Aiken

Prejudice. One of the most devastating sins. From it sprang the Civil War and the two World Wars. But where does prejudice come from? Pride. Plain and never simple pride. "I'm better than you because fill in the blank."
You know what I hate most about it though? Is that people base it on science.
People back in the 1880's did "scientific" studies that "proved" that black people weren't as smart and did better being slaves.
Under Hitler "scientist" proved that Jewish people weren't as human as because they smelled bad, caused trouble ect.
And people today try to prove "scientifically" that babies that haven't been born aren't human.
What a depraved world we live it.

Won't it be wonderful to get to heaven where there won't be even a hint of those things? We won't all be the same because part of the joy is being so totally different!
Imagine a lion and lamb. God doesn't say that he's going to change all the lambs to lions or vise versa he's going to allow them to be what they were meant to be but still get along.
We won't all be white, black, asian, have blue, brown, or black eyes.
We aren't going to be a bunch of clones.
We will all be so different, yet completely equal, and that's the beauty of it!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

To love...

To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

God loves us.
God forgives sin.
Then it gets more complicated. I think because it involves us humans doing something.
To have faith that an all powerful, all knowing God would send His Son to become one of us. And to then sentence Him to death on a cross, for us because He loves US.? That's unbelievable.
To hope that He will let us live with Him in eternity forever with Him? And that we won't spend it away from Him in a place of everlasting pain separated from Him. That's having hope when things seem hopeless.
Even still it seems that God made it easy on us. He said that NOTHING is impossible through Him.
Therefore in light of what we know about Him and His Character nothing should seem unbelievable and we should always have hope.
ok I'm just kind of rambling now.
I'll post later : )

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

God's faithfulness is amazing! And the more amazing thing is that he would save me the horrible sinner : ) I'm so happy! Grace is such an unbelievable thing.

Friday, June 30, 2006

I believe in God, even when he doesn’t speak.

On the wall of a concentration camp, a prisoner had carved these words:
I believe in the sun, even though it does not shine.
I believe in love, even when it isn’t shown.
I believe in God, even when he doesn’t speak.
Wow. I find that incredible. Imagine the person that wrote that. Imagine the conviction and faith that he/she possessed. Someone who had lost friends and most likely family to unspeakable deaths. And had seen humans do to humans unimaginable things. But he/she still carved that. It wasn't simply written it was engraved! Can you envision the emaciated hand chipping away at the wall that served as his/her prison? In the dark squinting their eyes just so they can picture the letters?
When I sit and think of that person all of a sudden everything that I am tempted to worry about and often do worry about seems silly... If that person could trust completely in God in the midst of those kind of circumstances then I have absolutely NO excuse not to.

I like to think that this person memorized this verse and thought of it often.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Count it all joy.....all joy.. I wonder if they knew this verse as well.
James 1: 2-4 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
I find that ohhhh so very very hard at times... Most of of the time when faced with a trial I'm like "GOD! Why me?!? Why now?!?" instead of "Thank you God for this wonderful opportunity trust in you and develop faith and maturity!"
Pure joy in the midst of trials=faith=steadfastness=perfect and complete and not lacking anything.
Thats a good formula to remember.

Complete and not lacking in anything. If someone told me "Well if you climb this mountain you will be perfect, complete, and not lacking in anything." I would probably most likely say "Where's the mountain?" But when God has told me that all I have to do is have pure joy and faith in the midst of trials and I will be perfect, complete, and not lacking in anything. I go "Umm sorry but I don't think that is possible." WHY????? It isn't as if God was asking me to do something horrid like eat a bunch of snails or something He just asks for my JOY. That's it He wants me to be happy! Sometimes the person that I find most annoying and aggrevating is myself.

But thanks to His everlasting and evergrowing grace it is possible for me to change. Now that's a wonderful thought.

I posted that on my xanga a while ago... I found it last night and thought it was I need to keep being reminded of it....

Monday, June 26, 2006

Your Great Renown

Our hearts are longing for
The glory of the Lord
To be made known in all the Earth
Lord let Your kingdom come
Lord let Your will be done
Yours is the greatest name of all

We want to see the nations bow
We want to hear the rising sound
Of the worship that You deserve
We want this passion to abound
A burden for Your great renown
Yours is the greatest name of all <<< style="font-style: italic;">longing for

Our hearts are longing for
The wisdom of the Lord
To be proclaimed in all the Earth
ways are higher than
The dreams of any man
is the greatest name of all
Our hearts are hungry for
The power of the Lord
To be displayed in all the Earth
The message of the Cross
Will bring hope to the lost
Yours is the greatest name of all

Words by Eric Grover

Music by Eric Grover and Steve Cook

We sang this song at church Sunday. It was just another reminder of what I must truly set my gaze on.


Your ways are higher than
The dreams of any man

Anything I can dream up is like a child growing up in a garbage dump and asking their parent for something that is "good" garbage. Little do they realize that their parent is going to take them to the beach or the mountains. And even when their parent assures them that it is going to be greater than anything they have ever seen, the child (aka me) insist they want the "good" garbage. There is an element of trust that we as "children" must take. Because if we don't we will be forever stuck in the garbage thinking that we have got it all.

The message of the Cross
Will bring hope to the lost

What a message. And with such a message comes such a hope : ).