Sunday, March 31, 2013

Risen Indeed

Risen Indeed.

And so the winter dies with a blast of icy wind
Like a mournful cry—it’s giving up the ghost again
Another sheet of snow melts away to gold and green
Just look at Peter go, he’s racing to the tomb to see

Where has my Jesus gone?
He is not dead;
he is risen, risen indeed

And now the flowers bloom like a song of freedom
Behold the earth is new, if only for the season
And so the seed that died for you becomes a seedling
Just put your hand into the wound that bought your healing

And let your heart believe
He is not dead;
he is risen, risen indeed

And the rain will fall on the furrow
It immerses the earth in sorrow
Mary, the sun will rise again
Mary, the sun will rise again
Daughter, listen, listen
Daughter, listen
He speaks your name

Father Abraham could not have dreamed of this
Could never understand the end of all those promises
How all the pieces fit, every star and grain of sand
Is safely hid in Jesus’ hand

Let every tongue confess
He is not dead;
he is risen, risen indeed

Mary, the sun will rise again
Daughter, listen, listen
Daughter, listen, he speaks your name.

I love this song so much, the lyrics are perfect.

I love imagining Peter taking off to the tomb sandles flapping, mind racing, the thoughts of his betrayal for a moment forgotten as he runs to see if the news that seems too good to be true is indeed...true. 

The end of all those promises made to Abraham are finally realized and it just makes me so....happy.
Happy Easter everyone.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

In which I throw my two cents in and possibly get in trouble.

I am waiting to go to lunch with my family--mom ran a quick errand and my brother is taking a I write. Will I even post this? I don't know-my thoughts aren't really clear right now. They are all jumbled up in a pile in my head and I can't seem to find the beginning or end of them so I can begin to unravel them. 

But to begin anything you must start somewhere...even in the middle of a knotted mess of thoughts.

The older I get (and I can say that now because I am over 20 so ha!) the less I know. I am always learning--but as I am learning the more I discover I really don't know squat. I was more sure about life when I in my teens-I thought I had it all nailed down and that clearly knew all the important things about life. It was quite nice back then before God started to deconstruct and wreck all of my preconceived notions about Him--it was nice thinking that you have it all figured out. Back when I believed that it was more important to be right than it was to be kind.

Facebook and the world in general seems to be very eager to throw out opinions about this subject that is going before the Supreme Court. And maybe it would be wiser for me to just be quiet about the subject-maybe I should be more vocal about it. I don't know what the right action is.

Honestly though it just all makes me quite sad...sad that this conversation even needs to be had, sad that sin pervades everything, sad that we battle with so many things, sad that people can be so hateful, and sad that humility and grace are not breathed more often by myself.

I don't know what the right answer is, I know what I think about the subject but I also know that I have been wrong so so many times before so I hesitate to whip my words around as if they were the finally say in the matter. I know what the Bible says and I do my best to follow what is says-but could I be misinterpreting it-it's possible. Could the opposite side be misinterpreting it-that's possible as well. 

Proof-texting what we believe is an easy thing to do and it makes us feel better about it really necessary? I would lean's not. Maybe I'm wrong though.

I want to be more like Jesus and when I look at how he lived his life--that is how I want to live. Jesus rubbed shoulders and ate with the morally bankrupt of his day. He reached out to the poor and the outcast. He poured his life into the people who society condemned and scorned. And it seems to me the only people he got mad at were the people who used religion for their own personal gain and were hypocritical and self-righteous. And I know in my life I have leaned both ways.

Maybe I'm wrong-maybe Jesus cares more about us taking a stand against immorality on facebook than he cares about us helping the widows, orphan and poor.

Maybe I'm wrong--maybe when Jesus said to take the log out of our own eye before concentrating on the speck in someone else's he didn't mean that we should look at our own lives before judging other people. Maybe. Maybe he meant that we should condemn people who sin differently than we do.

“‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." -Ezekiel 16:49 

Maybe I'm wrong--maybe Jesus wants us to make a big deal about homosexuality, alcohol, and smoking... but not about the fact that most of us are prideful, arrogant, overfed and unconcerned. 

I'm not saying those other things are right or aren't important...but maybe we should focus on ourselves and the things that we do and don't do, before we do on others...? Maybe?

But you know...

Maybe I'm wrong.

I don't want to be humble about the truth--but I want to always be humble about my ablity to always apprehend the truth.

I am a messed up person, I am sinful and broken. I do bad things and I do good things for bad reasons. My heart and intentions are murky at best. I was blind and I could never have saved myself--but I was saved and now--Love is leading me.

I am learning ever so painfully slow that I can't change someone's heart and I can't save people anymore than I could have ever saved myself. So this is what I am going to do, I am going to love. Love recklessly and love unconditionally because that is all I can do. I am going to love all you crazy people regardless of your pride, warts, selfishness, and all.

And I am going to trust that God can change a heart--I know that He can, because He changed mine.

And now I step down off of my soapbox, hopefully that all made a little bit of sense...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

"The hope of the whole world rests on the shoulders of a homeless man..."


I love Rich Mullins and I don't care if you all think I'm a little off kilter because I post pages of his quotes - because that is how much I love all. of. this. Also, I am a little off kilter, so you only think the truth. PSYCH! So. There. Ha! lol

(Also, I am up so early because I went to bed at 8 and fell asleep immediately like an old lady because I was exhausted)

**Italics and Bold added by yours truly**

“People often ask me what I believe… which always cracks me up, because you always think, well, why would I write that song, ‘Creed,’ if I didn’t believe it? That should pretty much outline it for you. They want to know what my millennial view is. I don’t even have a millennial view. I can’t see it. They want to know what I believe about baptism. Well, I think a lot of things about baptism, but I don’t really know what I believe about it. My faith isn’t in that. My faith isn’t in creationism. Certainly isn’t in the Religious Right kind of reasoning. Everything that has ever happened has failed, and it will continue to fail. But I think that’s because God is a jealous God. And he will not share us even with our best ideas about him.”
And when Christ has stripped away all of your phony-baloney kind of systematic theology, all of your lame, Protestant kind of stupidity, all of your Catholic hang-ups, when Christ has stripped away everything that we have invented about him, then maybe we will encounter him as he really is. And we will know ourselves as we really are. So don’t be afraid that your faith gets shaken. Could be that God is shaking you forward, and shaking you free.
And the issue is not which side of which fence you end up on. The issue is really, has to do with, what does it mean to love Christ? What does it mean to obey him? And I’m not really even sure what that is. But if there is any meaning in the life of Jesus of Nazareth, it is this — that there is a God who created us, and who loves us so much that he would stop at nothing to bring us to him.
And I really suspect that of all the things we think we want to know, the only thing we really want to know is that we are loved. And if Jesus means anything, he means that you are loved. I hope you know that. And I hope you stop worrying about all the stuff you don’t know, because I don’t think it amounts to a hill of beans.”
– Rich Mullins

“Christianity is about a daily walk with this person, Jesus. The heart of Christian faith is a radical and reasonable trust and focus on Jesus, but for many of us our focus has shifted very subtly from love for Jesus and faithfulness to him and obedience to him to a set of doctrines. Life and living comes from God — it comes from Jesus — not from doctrines or good morals. You can be an utterly moral person and not be alive. Jesus came that we might have life, not good morals. It’s not that I’m opposed to good morals at all, it’s just that sometimes I think we put the cart before the horse… the goal is not that you should become a great Bible scholar. It’s not about mere intellectual assent to a set of doctrines. The goal is that you should be like Jesus.”– Rich Mullins

"Maybe it’s more important that we know Jesus than anything else in the world. And maybe all our questions, maybe all our answers don’t amount to a hill of beans. But they’re fun to ask. And it’s always impressive to have an answer even though they don’t ever amount to much. Sometimes wethink that Christianity will be communicated when we become really intelligent or really articulate. But Christianity is communicated the same way diseases are — it’s communicated through touch, through breath, through life, not through information. And Christian vitality does not come from having a great head, but it comes from being connected to a great God who really is life.” -Rich Mullins.

"Christ preached what he himself called the “Good News” of the kingdom of God — a kingdom full of miracles. He himself said that in this kingdom the poor would know comfort — and even the most debauched hedonists among us know that if comfort is found by anyone, it is a miracle.
In this kingdom of miraculous comfort, Christ said that the meek would inherit the earth (quite contrary to the law of survival of the fittest), the hungry would be satisfied (not a popular notion in a consumerist society), the pure would have vision (a threat to a world that thrives on sensationalism) and the peacemakers (not the most heavily armed aggressors) would be esteemed.
[But] herein is the rub. Christ said that his kingdom — the world where he himself reigns — is forchildren. He himself said that if we don’t need a miracle we will most likely have little interest in him. If we are able to get along joyfully in the grown-up world of supply, demand, survival, aggression, sensations and consumerism, then we’d probably have too low to stoop and too much trimming to do to slip through that needle’s eye gateway to him. If we aren’t sick, we don’t need a doctor. If we aren’t lost, we don’t need a leader.
But, if we can admit a need, if we aren’t as altogether as we sometimes secretly fear we’re not, if we can shed our thick-skinned self-reliance and peel off that thin veneer of satisfaction — then there is a place for us in his kingdom and a fairly fat chance that we can loosen our load and slip on through. If we can find that courage… or that honesty… if we can be needy, helpless, blessed as a child
Oh Lord, this is me calling — an adult in an adult world, needing to be a child again in a kingdom for children. Oh Lord — can you make me that? It will take a miracle." -Rich Mullins

“So many of you people try so hard to be good. And you think someday you’re going to be so good that God is going to look down on you favorably. Well, let me tell you something — God already looks down on you favorably. That’s what grace is. Not because you’ve earned it but because he is a favorable looking God.”
Some of you people are so afraid that someday you’re going to cross that line, that you’re going to do that one sin that God will never forgive you of, or you’re going to do that one sin that you’ve been doing so long but you have this feeling that there is a certain number of times you can get away with it and God can look away, but one time too many and your life is over.
Folks, God knew you at your worst before he ever sent Christ to die for you. And the good news of Christianity is not that Christ came into the world to make good little boys and girls. Christ came into the world to take away those sins that you’ve allowed to come between you and God. It’s sad to me to believe, to look out there and see, when you’re driving down the road and you see people who are afraid, you see people who are angry, and you go, ‘If only you knew how crazy about you God was… God has already loved you… if only you knew!
So I don’ t know if I can make a lot of sense in a lot of ways, but let me tell you this — that God will never give up on you. He will never stop loving you. That love is a reality no matter what you do or don’t do. God does not call us to be angelshe calls us to be his, and to be who we are in him.”
– Rich Mullins

“Our faith is not in ourselves. If our faith was in ourselves, we could never afford to fail. Who wants to go through a life where you never fail? What a drag. Perfection is boring, folks. People who are perfect are only perfect because they are nothing. Anyone who ever did anything messed up…where there’s life, there’s mess. Where someone is living, they’re gonna make mistakes.” -Rich Mullins

"God has called us to be lovers and we frequently think that he meant us to be saviors. So we “love” as long as we see “results.” We give of ourselves as long as our investments pay off, but if the ones we love do not respond, we tend to despair and blame ourselves and even resent those we pretend to love. Because if we love someone, we want them to be free of addictions, of sin, of self — and that is as it should be. But it might be that our love for them and our desire for their well-being will not make them wellAnd, if that is the case, their lack of response no more negates the reality of love than their quickness to respond would confirm it.
Love is a virtue and not a feeling. It is fed and fired by God — not by the favorable response of the beloved. Even when it doesn’t seem to make a dime’s worth of difference to the ones on whom it lavished, it is still the most prized of all virtues because it is at the heart of the very character of God. By loving we participate in his life and essence. When we stoop to bait and buy good behavior we are no longer loving as God loves. We are manipulating and cheapening the dignity of the person whom we are called — not to save, not even to change — but to love. If real salvation is possible (and we know it is) it is because real love is there. And love that is real, love that is truly a virtue and not just an act — agape love — gushes from God through those who know him. It is not strung along by those who don’t.
In a world where quantitative values have obscured the reality of qualitative values — where we long to measure progress and chart growth, it is easy to give in to the temptation to judge ourselves and to try to walk by sight. But into that confused and meaningless effort God speaks with his great, still and small voice, with his Christ. He speaks through these invisible virtues with which his people shine and in the light of their lives this desperate, smug world sees not strength, wisdom, or even love, but him who is the source of these things and the savior of humankind.
Let us in whom he dwells look also to him so we can shine more brightly.
-Rich Mullins.

If you live really good, you will be beaten up. If you really try to walk in faith, you will fall. You will stumble. If you believe that your life in Christ is one constant spiral upward, then you are badly mistaken. And if you think it’s heretical to say, then read the lives of the apostles. Their lives were blemished, their track records were not particularly good.
If you try to have faith, you will be attacked by doubts you never knew you were capable of. But you keep on believing, even if you fall, even if you struggle with doubts, you keep on believing. And if you live a life that is marked by hope, by the belief that God is good, and there is goodness in the world that awaits us, you’ll be disappointed. You’ll be crushed, even, sometimes. The Scriptures say hope deferred makes the heart grow sick. You’re gonna have a sick heart. But you keep on hoping. And if you choose to love, you will be misunderstood, you will be betrayed, you will be rejected by the people who most desperately need the love you have to offer. And remember that when you try to love, it’s not like love in the movies. In the movies, when people are loving each other physically, they are always perfectly fit and tan and beautiful. Most of y’all, I’ve seen you… you don’t look like that.
We are blemished people, and in order to love anybody, in any way, we have to expose that part of us that we’d rather keep hiddenOur own selfishness, our own fears, our own hangups, and it’s embarrassing. So humiliating. But you keep on loving.
Many of us are obsessed with becoming rich, many of us are obsessed with becoming smart. But all of our wisdom, all of our great insights, we see in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect comes, that which is in part is done away with. But there are three things that will remain — faith, hope, and love. Make sure you live in those. And if you do, you will be hurt, you will be crushed. But when you wash up on that other side, when life is done with you, when you wash up over there, those angels that were looking at your little works of art and saying how tragically misconducted they were, they will look at what’s left of your body and say, ‘Man, what is this?’ And Jesus will say, ‘Oh, I know who that is. HE’S MINE.’”
– Rich Mullins

Monday, March 11, 2013


 People always say, ‘I don’t know where the Lord is leading me.’ I always say, it don’t really make a whole lot of difference. The important thing is to be where he has led you to already
– Rich Mullins

My job is simply to be faithful with what is right in front of my face and trust in God's goodness and that He is leading me through the crazy chapters that are my life and that even when all I see is fog of confused aims and the broken shards of a life He's got it all under control.
So I submitted my American Lit paper just in the nick of time and I fell asleep this afternoon...((whoops))... I am therefore not sleepy at all and have words that are bumping and ideas that are bumping around my head and I need to wait for my laundry to I write because...I am horrible at it but I like it, so you all will just have to deal. lol
Three things.
  1. I am going to try to embrace and enjoy the journey that is life and not try and over analyze and figure everything out. (this is where my friends start laughing at me)
  2. I'm going to not worry about where God is leading me anymore and what is going to come next or what I need to do.
  3. I am going to be frustrated because tomorrow I am going to forget this and I am going to over analyze something that someone says then I am going to try and figure out the mystery that is life. And after that I'm going to spread out all my options that I have and start worrying about what I need to do next. (lol)
Why do I have such horrible short term memory when it comes to these sorts of things?
Just last week I was in a bit of a funk for the better part of the week all because I started worrying about stupid crap (that I know better than to worry about) then I get frustrated because I know better- but I still do it. I had a come to Jesus moment on Friday and scrambled out of the little ditch that I managed to dive bomb into. I reminded myself for the umpteenth time that I am loved just as I and not as I should be and that if people don't like me because of me--it is ok. God. is. enough. always. That I don't need to know everything and He can be trusted to handle my life---therefore I have nothing to be concerned about lol
And now I'm going to go crash, goodnight to all of you wonderful people.
The end.

I love blue.

“To know God is to be free of the incessant need to understand exactly what he is doing before you place confidence in him.”- Joni Eareckson Tada

Friday, March 8, 2013


All my life I have struggled.
I struggle with feeling unqualified and never feeling adequate. Comparison is the monster that has stalked me and stolen much of the joy that is to be had out of life. I want to be as smart as X, as pretty as Y, as kind as H, ect ect ect. I want to be perfect and I get so frustrated when I always fall short of that standard.

It's only been for the past couple years that I have been able to look at myself and appreciate my quirkiness and enjoy just being Ming.

So my people I am going to be unashamedly myself. Ming-Wai Marie Ng. And if you don't like me because of that...well then it will probably bother the heck out of me and drive me crazy (because that is who I am)--but slowly I will learn that you do not define who I am and that is ok. 

So here we go...

My name is Ming and I am quirky and rather altogether strange.
I am a character in a most epic story and I pray that I play my part well and to the best of my ability.
I love Jesus and am a Christian but am deeply saddened by the way individuals use religion as a weapon to hurt people.
I love stories and books. I am supremely happy walking the aisles of a used bookstore and running my fingers along the spines of dearly loved volumes.
I over analyze everything.
I simultaneously love people and can't stand them sometimes.
Music is something that I run to when I feel like I'm falling.
I drink tea and not coffee because I do not want to become dependent of caffeine.
My desire is to not care much for stuff. Ie. If my car gets a scratch in it or gets wrecked -- life will still be ok. If my house burns or a flood sweeps it away -- at the end of the day they are only material things. May I constantly remind myself that people should always take priority.
I'd rather someone think I am somewhat smart than pretty.
I don't think I'm ugly but I realize I'm no Victoria Secret model and I'm really ok with that--there are more important things in life.
I love being outdoors and beautiful weather makes my heart sing.
Reese peanut butter cups are my favorite chocolate candy.
I will do anything for my friends.
I am too loyal and trust too easily.
I think carrying around a purse that is worth more money than I would ever carry in it is stupid lol but I do realize that I am weird and don't judge people who do lol
I just want a purse big enough to carry a book around in.
I love beauty and try often to let myself be swept away in the wonder of it all.
Love is a beautiful thing.
I like salty snacks more than candy.
Being in the woods is cathartic for me.
I sponsor four adorable children through Compassion International and I adore them.
I am a very opinionated person but hate making people upset so I keep quiet about my opinions sometimes.
I love working in health care and taking care of people even if it drives me crazy.
I am extremely indecisive and over think everything.
Good conversation and good food make me happy.
I love that the Bible is scandelous
I love flowers.
I would be very happy with a day to just putter around the house by myself with a book and my thoughts to get lost in.
I love people but I am very capable of entertaining myself.
I love that I can't put God in a box but it is incredibly frustrating to me at the same time.
This morning I was walking to my car on my way to have breakfast with my grandparents when I heard a woodpecker, I stopped for a moment to enjoy it and marvel that there are birds who hammer holes in trees.
Wonder surrounds me--I fight to keep my eyes open to it and not become blind.
My desire is that money not get a hold of my life.
I want to be the widow with two mites rather than the rich young ruler.
I love to drink the beauty of a sunset.
I love children.
Hanging around with children reminds me the world still hums with magic.
C.S. Lewis, Brant Hansen, Francis Chan, Lanie George, my Mom, N.D. Wilson, Andrew Peterson, Jason Gray have all influenced the way I view the world and I am forever grateful to them.
I believe that laughter is some of the best medicine in the world.
I would rather wear something comfortable than dress up.
Joy is something that is obtainable regardless of your circumstances.
Love, grace and mercy are what keep this world spinning.
Words are like food to me sometimes and I greatly admire people who can spin words to do their bidding.


There you go--me in a very small nutshell. Love me or hate me. I am not normal and I am ok with it...kinda. lol Thank you all for putting up with me--your friendship is very much appreciated and valued :)