Monday, December 29, 2008

Picture, Song, Article, My Thoughts... [in that order]

Picture: Of Trees
[I love trees]
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Song: Shout to the North
[Charlie Hall]

Men of faith rise up and sing
Of the great and glorious King
You are strong when you feel weak
In your brokenness complete

Shout to the north and the south
Sing to the east and the west
Jesus is Saviour to all
Lord of heaven and earth

Rise up women of the truth
Stand and sing to broken hearts
Who can know the healing power
Of our awesome King of love

We've been through fire.
We've been through rain
We've been refined by the
power of his name
We've fallen deeper in love with You
You've burned the truth on our lips

Rise up church with broken wings
Fill this place with songs again
Of our God who reigns on high
By his grace again we'll fly.
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(Bold and Italicization added by Ming)
It seems that many people think you can only celebrate Christmas if all is well. You can see this in the various statements beginning with, “It just does not seem like Christmas because ….” Perhaps we set ourselves up for failure by expecting everything to be just right at this time of the year.

If we pay attention to the Biblical text we notice that Christmas is in no way connected to things going well. In fact, as we can see from numerous texts, Christmas is typically set in dark and difficult situations. The message of Christmas is that God is still at work in such times accomplishing salvation for His people. This is why there is hope and why we can be merry despite what may be happening around us.

One place we see this is in the familiar Christmas story in Luke 2. The chapter opens by stating that the pagan Roman emperor had decreed that people would have to register for tax purposes. This would certainly not have been received as good news by Jewish people in that time. First of all, what government requires registration for taxes in order to decrease taxes? This decree would have been an odious reminder of their subjugation under pagan rule. This decree was a symbol of oppression. They were not free and had to pay high taxes to far away rulers who served idols. Furthermore they would have to return to their hometowns in a day when travel was difficult and costly. For those like Joseph’s family who had to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem, this would be a long journey which would interrupt work (and thus pay) and exact a toll on the family.

It is highly likely that this decree of Caesar’s would have been met with protest among the Jews of the day. Some may have cried out, Where is God? Why does He allow us to be so mistreated? When will he deliver us? Does he care? Has he forgotten us? Is our suffering hidden from God?”

What they could not know was that God was right there working through this hateful decree to bring the Savior into the world. God was at work moving the heart of this unbelieving king to make this decree so that Joseph and Mary would travel to Bethlehem so the Messiah could be born there in fulfillment of prophecy. The very thing which looked to them like evidence of oppression was actually the beginning of deliverance. What looked like the absence of God was preparation for the incarnation, Immanuel, “God with us”. When God seemed most absent, He was there working as He often does, in the dark, accomplishing the deliverance of His people.

This is fruitful to ponder and apply to our own lives. Christmas is not the pretense that all is well now. Such pretense is a sham and people see through it as Scrooge did. No, Christmas is the blessed assurance that God is still at work redeeming His people. It is the reminder that God accomplishes salvation even when it looks bad. This gives us hope and points us forward to the coming day when God will make all things right. With this truth in mind we can celebrate in hope and declare our hope and joy as a statement of faith.
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My Thoughts
[or some of them]
It's so easy when times are going the "right" way [also known as my way], for me to see God's hand behind it all. When things aren't going my way though, it's easy for me to cry out right along with Isreal "Where is God? Does he even care? Has he forgotten me?"

Maybe this is just me--but I don't always trust God. I don't always have faith that he has a plan for me and my life, that no matter what happens, and no matter what I do--I can't be plucked out of his hand and nothing can thwart his love for me. There are times I can imagine God throwing his hands up in the air exclaiming to all of heaven, "I give up! Ming's hopeless! She'll never get it! She just won't learn, she keeps screwing up, and I'm done!"

It doesn't make sense to me, it doesn't seem realistic-- that when God seems absent in my life--that he's still there working in the dark, behind the curtain--still intimately involved in my life, still chasing me relentlessly with his unfailing love.

It also doesn't make sense that the things that make my heart ache and my soul cry out in anguish--are the things that God can still use for His Glory and my good. Even if it doesn't look like it in the moment.

Some of you know--others of you don't, what this last year of my life has looked like. Some of you have most of the story, others just speculation ;). lol Let's just say it's been an interesting year to say the least. I've snuck around, lied, made plans that were somewhat impulsive [=P], and have done stuff I never thought I would have done--and been in situations that I really would not have chosen to be in if I had, had any say in it. I've lost some of my closest friends and caused pain to many people.

Why do we so appreciate people who are completely honest about their failings, but yet it's like pulling teeth to admit our own shortcomings? [at least that's how I am]

Honestly right now where I am. I'm just done. I just want to know exactly what God wants to do with me and with my life. I know the beginning of the story and I know how the story ends. I'm tired of not knowing the middle though.

I just want to sit at the feet of my God and listen to him and what he has to tell me. I want to know my identity in Christ and I want to live in accordance to the person that I am now. I want to climb in to my Fathers lap, rest my head on his chest and soak in His presence.

I don't want to think. I don't want to worry. I don't want to fear. I don't want to care about what people think about me. I just want to know the blessed assurance that Jesus is mine. I want eternal life, what is eternal life? Knowing God. Therefore I want to know God.

I don't want to know of God though--I know of God and I know alot about him too. No I want to really really know him.

And I want knowing him to radically transform my life. I want to live a crazy life that only makes sense in God is real.

[I'm sorry if this makes no sense my head is kind of all over the place right now.]

Sunday, December 28, 2008

I love it. lol

Why has The Palm Beach Post (along with the NTTimes, the WashPost, etc.) backed off its fantastical promises for stem cell research? The editors had told us it would bring healing on miraculous levels.

Of course, they used to echo Nancy Pelosi's belief that it "holds the biblical power to cure," and John Edwards' revivalist preaching that it would make Christopher Reeve "Get out of that wheelchair and walk again," or Senator Arlen Specter's statement that it had the potential to "conquer all known maladies," or Rep. Anna Eshoo's, "We stand on the brink of finding the cures to diseases that have plagued so many millions of Americans..." and on and on.

But that was when it was about embryos. Which means it was about life, and hence, the abortion issue. And abortion is about sexual autonomy. Always has been.

Now that the game has completely changed (adult stem cells hold the same potential, so no killing of embryos is needed, and the abortion debate no longer matters) no one's seeing a need to issue such ridiculous promissory notes. Truth is, as First Things quotes a New York Times science writer in an honest moment, "Such accomplishments are more dream than reality." Now that we don't have the life/abortion issue involved, Scientific American has apologized for itself and the media, for raising false hopes.

Embryonic stem cells are not a miracle cure. The science said otherwise, but denial is apparently a team sport when sexual autonomy trumps science.

http://branthansen.typepad.com/letters_from_kamp_krusty/2008/12/maybe-i-should-stop-reading-the-paper.html

Remember.



Giver of every breath I breathe
Author of all eternity
Giver of every perfect thing
To You be the glory

Maker of heaven and of earth
No one can comprehend your worth
King over all the universe
To You be the glory

I'm alive
Because I'm alive in You
And it's all because of Jesus I'm alive
And it's all because the blood of Jesus Christ
That covers me and raised this dead man's life
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

Every sunrise sings Your praise
The universe cries out your praise
I'm singing freedom all my days
Now that I'm alive
--------------------------------------------
Christmas has come and gone.

Life rolls along. I wish I knew where I would end up. What I'm going to look like at the end.
Pensive.
Introspective.
Questioning.
Pondering.
Sigh.

Saturday, December 27, 2008


Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear? 


Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

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God really is good people.
Why is it so hard to remember it though?
I do love him though.


"Are you willing to accept that as an answer to in your life; that God may not be simplifying your life, He's just strengthening who you are."
-Francis Chan
 *sigh*

Friday, December 26, 2008

Thursday, December 25, 2008

EBC

I want to go......I really really really want to go...really really bad.

Ying does too--

I want to go for this reason

Here.

She wants to go for this reason lol


OfficeBlogVid from Matt Cross on Vimeo.
I'm totally hyper.

It's Christmas! (Even if it completely doesn't feel like it)

I love life. I really do. I'm totally not contented at this moment though, I want to do something crazy.

Stephen and I went to Mosaic tonight for the Christmas Eve service and it was one of those messages that for some reason got me totally psyched, hyper, and wanting to do something completely crazy.

"Have irresponsible trust in the faithfulness of God."

How many of us have irresponsible trust in God?

*sigh*

Anyways in the car on the way home I told Stephen that I wanted to do something crazy (which is always a scary thing for him to hear because usually then follows one of my tirades/tangents). This time was not an exception. I've decided I would love, absolutely love to be a missionary in India, China, Africa, Iraq, Afghanistan, ect. To live in a place where it is truly dangerous to be a Christian.

If I was to go to school ever to be a nurse it would be because I would know I could use it for missions. If I'm going to go to school simply because I make alot of money--because honestly...well you don't want to know what I honestly think. =P

Anyways I continued on my tangent and told him that one of my dreams would be to go to EBC (Eternity Bible College) and get a degree in Biblical Studies and become a missionary. For those of you who don't know EBC is in Southern California tucked away in a city called Simi Valley. And if you know me at all--then you should be able to guess who the founder is. =P

Heck if I wasn't a missionary in a foreign country then I vote we move to the inner city and evangelize and work there.

I think it's funny that the majority of American Christians have been called to live and evangelize to upper and middle class America.

Anyways I went on and on and on.

And we've decided I'm insane, crazy, and not at all normal--which a crazy person isn't normally. =P We also pondered how the two of us ended up liking each other and how we even work considering we're like completely different when it comes to that sort of thing....=P

Anyways this post makes no sense--maybe I'll post another time about my thoughts on this sort of subject. =P

Goodnight all and have a wonderful Christmas. =)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Beautifulness of a song.

And I can see that my hands are trembling, I can see that my legs are weak
I can see that my head is spinning, but I will overcome
And I know that my heart is hurting, And I know that my soul it aches
And I know that it seems I'm failing, but I will overcome, yeah

O Lord I'm strong in You, O Lord I am wise in You
O Lord I can see in You, so I will overcome
O Lord I'm loved by You, O Lord I am free in you
O Lord I'm complete in You
So I will overcome, I will overcome, I will overcome

God listen to me shout, I'm so far from anywhere and I'm calling out
Lead me, lead me to the rock that is higher than I
You're my breath, You're my breath, You're my very life
Infinite, Holy King meets weak and frail Christ in me
And I will overcome not by my strength but by Your grace and love
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*looks determind*
I can and will overcome whatever is thrown at me.
I can and will even overcome myself.
Not by my own power or strength--but through Christ in me.

I had something of great depth and importance to write last night--but I was crazy tired and went to bed with the plan to write it this morning--but alas I have it no more.

Oh well.=P

Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmasness music...

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

I love this song. It's kind of a depressing Christmas song--but it's still really good.
Capital Lights music is incredibly catchy.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

This weekend was sort of, kind of, pretty crazy. lol

Mrs. George seriously amazes me with her abilities--cooking for 120 people Friday, Saturday finishing cooking (having it done in four different locations), decorating Saturday, as well as having the power go out for the last hour before the reception dinner. But in the end it all came together. =) I was able to help out with my boyfriend too so it worked well, or at least he was in the vicinity most of the time. lol

I did miss Lauren though, even if there weren't moss blocks to do and I didn't do the drink table. We had mad skills at Leah's and Sarah's weddings, let me tell you. =)

So I asked Ron to take some pictures of what it looked like before and when I went to look at the pictures on my camera--here were the ones he took. =P It made me laugh. =)



He did cut the pies with amazing skills though. =)

Anyways I'm going to go and watch the panthers overtime.

Also my grandparents left today. =( =(

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's dreary out. Very dreary.

Awwww, except I just heard a bird outside. =)

Anywayssss. It's going to be a busy weekend. Crazy probably even--but it'll be fun. Pictures will come I promise.

Abraham Piper is amazing.

Gosh, I listened to Cornerstone's latest sermon series and was reminded once again why I want to move there. lol

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Wow, I still have this blog?

And probably all of one person still checks this regularly. =P

Oh well, things change I guess.

I got my CNA license, that was an adventure.

Lol, Sterling got texting. (at least for a trip he's going on)
Watch out world. =P

Ok, honestly I never write here because I don't know what to write--not because a lack of things going on in my life.

Anywayssss so yeah.

Goodnight.

Okay, wait one sec--is it just me or am I the only one who can't believe that it's already December and that Christmas is in a little over a week.

And that it's going to be 2009 in a little over two weeks.

The most eventful year of my life is almost over....

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

God is good.

Seriously God is so good.

Anyways anyone have any amazing plans for Christmas?

I have no idea what to get anyone...well except Ying she's easy. lol

Sunday, November 30, 2008

downhere=love

 
There are no mystic jewels, embedded in my prose,
No moonlit haloed cherubs, perched on my piano,
No lyrics laced with pixie dust, no angels sings along.
I am just a beggar who gives alms

Gold and silver have I none, but such I have give thee,
Borrowed words from the one, who gave the gift to me,
The pearl that I could never buy, this life, this dream, this song,
And I am just a beggar who gives alms

I am not the creator, but a scribe with a pen,
I'm recreating visions, through a cracked and broken lens,
Only one has ever seen the home for which we long,
And I am just a beggar who gives alms.
~The Beggar Who Gives Alms
--------------------------------------------------------------
Peoples.
I want to see.
I'm so tired of seeing this world through a cracked and broken lenses.
I'm tired of seeing just a portion of the backside of the tapestry,
a corner of the painting,
and I'm tired of only seeing a second in the story....
Yes.
I want to see the whole tapestry,
the whole painting,
and I want to read and know the whole story.
I know the beginning
I know the climax
and I know that God wins in the end.
The middle I'm figuring out as I live though.
And that can be a confusing, painful thing.
And yet...
at the same time it can be filled with love, joy, and peace.
It's a very confusing thing.
What would it look like if I put my all in Jesus.
All of my trust.
All of my faith.
All of my hope.
What if I really truly believe that my life was hidden up with Christ?
What if I really believe God loves me as much as He does?
What if.
....
I think I don't want to trust God sometimes because I'm scared that I don't deserve the things that he says to trust him about.
Cause I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve what he promises.
I don't deserve his love.
I don't deserve this eternal hope...
I don't.
"I don't" has kind of been the theme of my life.
And it's stopped there which is a bad thing.
Anything that starts with "I", should end with "but God."
I don't deserve what he promises, but God promises anyways.
I don't deserve his love, but God gives it to me anyways.
I don't deserve this eternal hope, but God has lavished it on me anyways.
But God.
Anywayssssssssssssssss
God is good.
 I'm thankful for 
God
praying (aka good conversation with God)
love
Stephen
life
family 
( ^ which includes people that are practically family and you know who you are--including but not limited to the Georges and Justin)
friends
people
reading for hours
bookssss
memories
musicccccccc
!Passion!
laughing
water
words
talking
thinking and pondering things
reading books that make me think
listening to sermons by--
Francis Chan;
Brian Colmery;
Chuck Bomar;
Todd Nighswonger;
Doug Fox;
Scott Mehl;
Louie Giglio;
Brad Buser;
Matt Moore;
and well you get the idea =P
baking
cooking
helping Mrs George with weddings
laughing at my sister
fresh bread
getting and giving hugs
listening to music
flip flops
cinnamon rolls
the color green
sunrises and sunsets
long rambling walks
thunderstorms
sunshine on my face
playing frisbee
listening to rain as you fall asleep
mint chocolate chip
big massive old trees
flowers
listening
watching
biting into apples
winds
rain
basketball
football
sports in general
clouds
pictures
wearing hoodies
jeans
fields
falling stars
dreaming
joy
peace
And the list goes on and on and on...
 Love you people.
Hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Do you not love how it seems like I can't write until it seems like the bottom has once again fallen out from under me and there seems no way to capture what I feel--but yet how I feel compels me to at least attempt to convey my thoughts in words.

It's a very confusing thing really.

I've decided that writing is somewhat of a salve for me and my heart when it aches sometimes and my head won't shut up. It's a therapy of sorts, really.

At least for one as I it is.

The yesterday was a long day--today was good, but the end of it was rather long, for reasons that really have no need for being remembered or spoken about.

Anyways though when I got home I got out my bible and read, to be more specific I read Jeremiah because it is a book that I do love. And to be even more specific Jeremiah 29:10-14.

Now mind you I'm not in exile but nonetheless they're comforting verses.

Also I remembered a dear dear quote of mine that I re-read.

You know those things that you read and in different times and places in life that jump out to you that you never noticed before? I know, I know I've posted this before, but every time I read it--it comforts me.

I thought Bright Sadness sounded suspiciously like the battle cry of the optimist. The donning of rose colored glasses calling out in the night for all to see the bright side of despair. More of a personality flaw than a birthright. Not something I could really get behind as being something tangible. I was wrong, of course. Bright Sadness is not the act of dusting heartache with sugar and glazing bitterness and resentment with a toothy smile. It is having little to do with wistful optimism and everything to do with hope in the light of the truth.
Hope that promises will be kept, that a refuge will hold., that the sun will return, that seasons will change despite the weighty darkness and all evidence to the contrary.

Hope at the center of despair.

The footprints left, when we look back at the most tempestuous season of life, are purposeful, organized, significance in the chaos--evidence that we were remembered in our darkest and most vulnerable days.
-Emily
I don't understand this kind of hope, this kind of faith, this kind of trust, and the kind of love that all those things stem from. I don't understand them completely--but I know they're there.

I wish thing could pass from me but I'm wanting what you want
So bring me high or bring me low just hold me in your love.
I'm kind of tired kids.

I wish I was a better writer.

I wish right about now that I had a glimpse into the future to see what things will look like down the road.

Yet I'm incredibly thankful at the same time that I don't.

It's a dichotomy in my head.

My God really is bigger than anything isn't people?
Seriously.

I just need to keep screaming that to myself.

I love Stephen as well.

God give me strength to walk this path though.

Ok, I'm going to make my head shut up if it's the last thing I do. lol

Goodnight people.

Saturday, November 15, 2008


I have new glasses.
And this is a bad picture.
lovemuch
Ming
Overheard countless times in the last two months: “I am concerned about the poor performance of my investments and savings.”

Not heard even one time in the last two decades:  “I am concerned about my poor performance in laying up treasure in heaven.”
-Dan Edelen

How apt is that?


Indeed, we are so worldly in not only our thoughts and actions, but in our very orientation.

Ouch.



Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Monday, November 10, 2008

I dislike Atlanta. Their farmers market is cool and I'm sure the aquarium will be amazing--but by far I prefer Charlotte. lol

Thursday, November 6, 2008

What I find scary about God is that he answers prayers.

Not always in the way I may like him to--but he answers them nonetheless.

Life kids.


Pray/Kendall Payne
I will pray for you now, for you have been my faithful friends
While the road we walk is difficult indeed
I couldn't not ask for more than what you've already been
Only that you would say these prayers for me
May your heart break enough that compassion enters in
May your strength all be spent upon the weak
All the castles and crowns you build and place upon your head
May they all fall, come crashing down around your feet
May you find every step to be harder than the last
So your character grows greater every stride
May your company be of human insignificance
May your weakness be your only source of pride
What you do unto others may it all be done to you
May you meet the One who made us
And see Him smile when life is through
May your blessings be many but not what you hoped they'd be
And when you look upon the broken
May mercy show you what you could not see
May you never be sure of any plans you desire
But you'd learn to trust the plan He has for you
May your passions be tried and tested in the holy fire
May you fight with all your life for what is true
I have prayed for you now all my dear and faithful friends
But what I wish is more than I could ever speak
As the way wanders on I'll long to see you once again
Until then, would you pray these prayers for me?
Oh, that you would pray for me

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Good doses of reality of who I am and who God is and how the world isn't going to end when I screw up or others screw up are rather helpful at times.

I was talking to Justin last night and I was trying to figure out why is it that sometimes when I feel the closest to God is when I've screwed up and gotten in trouble? Or when times are hard?

Don't hear what I'm not saying--I'm not saying that I never feel close to God when I'm doing really well, it just seems to me though that when things are going really well it's much easier for me to forget what God has done for me.

I want to get to the point that Paul got to. Where in Philippians he wrote "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

See I'm seeing that I know how to be brought low, I know how to face need, I know how to face bad times, but good times for me seem trickier to face. Grant it, they're easier they're more enjoyable, but in light of the fact that it seems so easy to lose sight of God they seem harder to me in a way.

The dicotomies I'm begining to see are seeming endless in this Kingdom that I've been brought into, stuff is turned around, reversed and it doesn't make sense in my head.

The fact that our sin could be used by God to become the pathway to a relationship with him, in light of his Son's sacrifice. Doesn't make sense in my head.

How can our weaknesses become our strengths?

How can things the hurt we carry become the strongest medicine that we need?

How can I be born depraved--yet created for the divine God?

How can death be in me, yet in my heart resides eternal life?

How can God be perfectly just and perfectly merciful as well?

How can God love me?

These things don't make sense.

Stuff God does and who God is sometimes I don't get either....but that's another time.
=P

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

"God is sovereign. God is good. He will provide and He has provided. Everything is going to be alright."
- Jon Acuff

There we go, how I feel about the election, politics, and life in general.

Even when I really screw up it's true.

I don't understand why it's true but it is....

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I believe...

I was a boy, just nine years old,
I heard the call and came.
They buried me beneath the water,
then I rose again.

Well, you know my dad was a preacher man.
I walked the aisle and I took his hand.
He said, “Son, just do the best you can, and say the words,
I believe he is the Christ, the Son of the living God.'”

Through the years I barely fell;
I mostly dove right in.
I drank so deep from the shallow well only to thirst again.
Well, I sang the hymns at the summer camp,
then I rocked and rolled with a lousy band
till I heard a song that took my hand and led me home.
And I believe he is the Christ, Son of the living God.

All I know is that I was blind but now I see
though I kick and scream,
Love is leading me.
And every step of the way his grace is making me;
with every breath I breathe, he is saving me.
And I believe.

So when my body’s weak and the day is long,
when I feel my faith is all but gone,
I’ll remember when I sing this song that I believe.
I believe he is the Christ, Son of the living God, my Lord, my Savior.
Oh, Hosanna, I believe.

-The Good Confession Andrew Peterson

Christ not only saved me, he’s continuing to save me. Every morning, his mercies are made new. I’m saved again. And again. My only plea now and always will be the same thing I confessed when I was nine and bawling into my dad’s hip: “I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, my Lord and my Savior.
-Andrew Peterson

I like this.

See I love my God.

He mercies are truly new every morning.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like that though, I know.
There have been times over the past....uhhhh year or so I've asked God if I am truly, really, honestly saved. Because it just seemed like the things I was struggling with were things that good little Christian girls shouldn't struggle with. It just seemed like I should have control of my life and feelings...and well I didn't. lol

Anywayssss! =P

Yesterday morning I was walking downstairs after an arduous night and I felt and looked like death warmed over, anyways I was walking through the kitchen and looked out the window, it was gorgeous out. Sun was filtering gently though the leaves of the huge oak trees in our backyard. My legs felt like they couldn't hold my weight and I leaned against the fridge as my eyes filmed over with this liquid substance.
"God, are you mercies truly new every morning?"
"Yes."
"Ok, I believe you."
Seriously that was my thoughts and conversation with God.
So when I listened to that song last night and read that quote this morning--it was rather fitting...rather completely fitting.
See even though it's been a rather long couple years, and even though I haven't done or said everything perfect, I know that God is working in my life. Even if I can't see it clearly.
I look through a cracked and broken lenses...
But that's ok, I don't have to see everything clearly. =)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

I'm rather tired....

Ahhhhh life.

Life and I have a love hate relationship.

I like plans.

I think alot.

I think to much sometimes...ok alot of times.
-----------------------------------------------------------
It knocked me down, it dragged me out, it left me there for dead.
It took all the freedom I wanted and gave me something else instead.
It blew my mind, it bled me dry, it hit me like a long goodbye, and nobody here knows better than I that it’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.

It’ll fall like rain on your parade, laugh at the plans that you tried to make, it’ll wear you down till your heart just breaks and it’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.

It’ll wake you up in the middle of the night, it’ll take just a little too much.
It’ll burn you like a cinder till you’re tender to the touch.
It’ll chase you down, swallow you whole, it’ll make your blood run hot and cold.
Like a thief in the night it’ll steal your soul, and that’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.

It’ll follow you down to the ruin of your great divide, and open the wounds that you tried to hide.
And there in the rubble of the heart that died you’ll find a good thing.
Love is a good thing.

Take cover, the end is near.
Take cover, but do not fear.
It’ll break your will, it’ll change your mind, it’ll loose all the chains of the ties that bind.
If you’re lucky you’ll never make it out alive, and that’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.

It can hurt like a blast from a hand grenade when all that used to matter is blown away.
There in the middle of the mess it made you’ll find a good thing.
Yes, it’s worth every penny of the price you pay.
It’s a good thing.
Love is a good thing.
Do not fear.

-Love is a Good Thing Andrew Peterson

I love my parents. [even if I can get worked up about stuff]

I love the Georges. [especially Mrs. George =)]

I love Stephen [really, I truly do].
And I love and adore my God. [like suriously. =P]

[although I do wish I knew what my life in it's entirety would look like. And there are times that I really wish that I could see everything God is doing and working on in my life... lol]

Thursday, October 30, 2008

So you say there is no hope. Maybe God is dead and gone.
So you think that he can't break a heart that's harder than a stone?
So you feel so wrecked and dirty, he could never make you new?
Man, have I got news for you.
I'm so compelled to tell you that it's true, so true: listen, I've got news for you.

-I've Got News Andrew Peterson

I love Andrew Peterson.
You should get his new CD.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

There's been alot in my head as of late but I just can't seem to find the words to go along with the stuff that is stuck in my head. It is a very obnoxious thing.

At this moment in time though my head is clear and I am just relaxing in the wonderful green place that is my room. Listening to my parents watching Gladiator--which btw is an excellent movie, just for the record.

Wait...never mind my head is not a clear place. =P

"The joy doesn't come from the suffering the joy comes from knowing what's on the other side."

"See I think at the bottom end of all of this--the reason we don't want to suffer, the reason all of us struggle through sacrifice; is I don't think we honestly believe that on the otherside of death there is something better than what this world has to offer."
Todd Nighswonger

Do I really believe that there is something better than this life?

Ok grant it we can all gripe and moan about how awful life is at times but honestly, walk outside on a beautiful day when everything is going the way you would like it to. Walk outside take a big deep breath and then tell me if there is really something better out there for you.

Seriously tell me that. Don't just spout it off because you've been taught it your entire life. Don't tell me that with a voice that lacks a real passion, or even a voice that tries to conger up passion where there is none.

Deep, deep, deep down do you really think that on the otherside of death there is something far better than what this world has to offer?

Do you really?

Do I really?

Then why don't we live like it alot of times?

Why do we pour so much of yourselves and our resources into....now.?

I want that passion that is contagious.

Yes.......

Anyways.

What to do with life kids what to do with life....

Monday, October 27, 2008

Home Again!

Rejoice oh little children, Ming is finally home.

Ok ok, so I was gone for just over a day--but I agree with Stephen, it feels longer when you're out of town.

This is going to be a....I'm not even sure what to call it but it'll be an update.

Car ride up--pretty mundane. I listened to a lot of music though. Andrew Peterson and Downhere are my friends. But that's another conversation for another time.




Jun-Fung and Alex played...who knows what and Ying and Emily played Sims on Emily's laptop.

Anyways....hmmm yes.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

People can be interesting.

Take that as you would like to take it.

It honestly is refering to many things going on in my head right now, so it's not one specific thing.

So yeah.

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten

I like this song.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

"I never find out God is faithful until I am thrust out of theoretical into reality."
Todd Nighswonger

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
-Tenth Avenue North
Ok people I really truly honestly mean this.
Ready?
No matter what happens in my life--no matter what circumstance I find myself in--no matter who may fail me--no matter how many times I fail myself: No matter what I know, I know that I know that I know that my God is bigger than it all.
Seriously.
And that He loves me like crazy much.
Even me with all my screw ups and mess ups.
Depravity, sin, and all.
Loves.
Me.
Just so everyone is clear--my name was taken from;

This book--












Yes.

Thank you.

Just so we're clear guys, just so we're clear. =P

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I think it's cute. =)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Life.

Is going good.

But forgive me as I go on an introspective stint for the next little while.

I wish I had this thing all figured out.

I wish that I knew exactly what not to do and what to do.

I wish I knew when to keep my mouth shut and when to open it.

I wish I didn't screw up and I wish that I was at least more perfect than I am.

Mostly though I just wish I could forgive, love, and see people the way Jesus saw them.

I wish I cared more.

And then part of me wishes I didn't care as much.

Because when you care--it hurts.

Anywaysssss enough with the deep stuff--

I'm almost done with my CNA class, yes, it is cause for great celebration and rejoicing.

Seriously.
=P

I'm tired.

Goodnight world.

I have one last statement.

This year has been crazy.

And that's almost an understatement.

lol.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Saturday...

We (Camden, Stephen, and I) went to Hobby Town because Stephen has gotten Camden and Drew in to 40k...lol. That's all I have I have to say about that place--I was the only girl in the entire store for most of the time....lol





The sky was amazinggg.


Then after that...while my boyfriend painted...

I took pictures



And more pictures

Awkward?


Then we made dinner and I am now home.

Salads are good.