Thursday, January 29, 2009

A boy after my own heart....

These pictures make me laugh--I took my little brother to the library today and I left my keys on the bookshelf [Whooooops =P] Anyways I ran in to get them and I came out to this---

Lol, he's so related to me. =P


Why must I be me?

That is the question of the lifetime. =P
Ok, something to qualify my post below.

I'm not saying that issues like abortion for example aren't extremely important--and I'm not saying that we shouldn't take a stand on things.

What I am saying is that our love for God and our love for others should be the thing that motivates us.

And I'm saying that until we can get that--we really can't do the right things for the right reasons.

Ok here is an extreme example but here you go--Ok, I don't think that homosexuality is right. I think that most of the people that read my blog would agree--God clearly says in the Bible that it's wrong. And if I'm going to bring my life under God's word then I have to hold to that truth.

But here's the thing--all the Christians that go around saying stuff like, "God hates fags." or "You're going to burn in hell homo's!" ect. They're completely wrong as well--even worse, here they are saying that they're "Christians" therefore lining themselves up with Jesus Christ--and they behave like this.

Love isn't modivating them. And that's the problem.

So please understand that I'm not saying that we don't hold views and we don't have convictions and that we just should be like "Weeeee" all day long. What I'm saying is that we must be modivated and moved for the right things.

(News flash: Also it doesn't do any good to fake it.)

And I should be more tactful when I write--but when this stuff really moves me then I just want everyone to get it.

So I'm sorry guys for not being more tactful.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Song, thoughts, something that starts as a list of 25 things then turns into a rambling...

What we do here is just the beginning
New life is starting at every ending
We are a part of the story unfolding
This is the weight of the world we are holding
This could be our day

Clearly it's time to make a change
Or I could keep sitting and waste all day
I know that it's time for me to move
I've been given this minute to use
And given this moment to prove that

I was holding back
Now I've come undone
I want to touch the world
Heal the broken ones
Ending the cycle has just begun
We've been given this minute to use
And given this life to prove

To give ourselves away
For something beautiful
A million miles away
To the one who's hungry, and thirsty

And needs some hope
To the people that are weary and
Broken and left alone
I'm giving myself away


Love this song. Quite dearly actually.

Have you ever felt you're on a completely different page than other people.
And everyone thinks you're quite insane
Well save for a few who do really get it...
My head at times.
I'm kind of hyper right now.
And I'm not quite exactly sure of the reason.
Dreaming is good kids.
I have many thoughts--non of which I have the time nor the right words to capture at this particular moment in time though.
Since it seems cool kids do this I think I shall too...I think.
  1. I love God seriously.
  2. I want to live and die well.
  3. I want to accomplish what he wants me to in this life.
  4. I want to take risks and live a life of adventure for Him.
  5. I want my life to match my talk.
  6. I want to have a even crazier more passionate love for God than I do now.
  7. That will provoke actions from me because I love him so much.
  8. I want to be a genuine real person.
  9. I hate fakeness and pretentiousness.
  10. I have a boyfriend, he's amazing. And I do love him.
  11. I absolutely abhor cliches and words that become buzz words.
  12. I enjoy long walks in the fog.
  13. And I enjoy stargazing.
  14. I love Mrs. George.
  15. I miss my best friend Lauren.
  16. I want to move to California.
  17. I want to move there because I want to go to Cornerstone. Badly.
  18. I want to move there because it is a Church that isn't about nominal, normal, Christianity.
  19. Cornerstone puts their money where their mouth is and they seek to truly love their neighbor as much as themselves.
  20. I am really enjoying Mosaic though and I believe without a doubt now that it's where I'm suppose to be right now.
  21. Nonetheless I want to move to California, go to Cornerstone, and get my degree in biblical studies at Eternity Bible College. [after I get my nursing degree]
  22. Eternity Bible College's mission statement is "Teaching people to live and die well." Oh. my. gosh. Can you say amazing? Yes. I think so.
  23. I am an idealist.
  24. Mostly when it comes to Christianity.
  25. I'm sorry but I hate it when Christians hand people a box and tell them to get in it--because they've "discovered" what it really looks like to be a Christian.
  26. Sorry kids--being a Christian means that you are completely in love with God and have a relationship with him.
  27. You realize that you're a sinner needing to be saved and your realize that God sent his son to die so that you could be saved.
  29. That relationship spurs and moves you to love others and care about their well being.
  30. Love God love your neighbor.
  31. Honestly is really incredibly simple.
  32. Also incredibly hard--you can't do it without supernatural strength--but that's where God steps in.
  41. If you think that's what it's about you've missed it.
  42. Don't hear what I'm not saying.
  43. I'm not saying that it's good to smoke, drink, and cuss.
  44. I'm not saying that it's bad to go to Church and read your Bible.
  45. But these are not the main issue.
  46. They divert our gaze from things that really do matter.
  47. If God lead your parents and you to homeschool--Great! Do what God has asked you to do.
  48. If God leads your parents to put you in public school--Great! Do what God has asked you to do.
  49. It's not about all the above mentioned things.
  50. It's about God.
  51. It's about realizing his Love for you and his love for the world.
  52. Once you start to get that--and I mean really get that.
  53. You can't help but do the right things, and you can't help stopping doing the wrong things.
  54. The Holy Spirit will convict and lead you, if you listen to him.
  55. I'm just tired of having people get in little groups and talk about issues that really honestly aren't that important.
  56. There is a lost and dying world out there.
  57. And to be frank--homeschooling isn't going to save them.
  58. Neither is Courtship
  59. Neither is scrubbing up their lives so they look holy.
  60. It's so much bigger than that.
  61. Jesus is the only person on this story that can save them.
  62. He's the only thing.
  63. Beginning, Middle, and End.
  64. Let's not forget that please?
  65. The person sitting next to you in your college class that smokes weed, gets drunk, and comes to school high--actually needs him really bad.
  66. We're suppose to be a light to the world.
  67. The salt of the earth.
  68. Let's live it, ok?
  69. Let's not hole ourselves up in our church's and hide our light.
  70. Let's not sequester ourselves in our Christian homes and keep the salt for ourselves.
  71. Because I promise you this--you are going to miss out on the life that God has made you for.

Ok sorry kids that was a long tangent--please don't be offended. I really just get kind of...ok really worked up about this sort of thing....=P

Sort of.

This is what I'm passionate about. This is my purpose in life. And yes, I know I can come across really strong sometimes but I can't help it most of the time. I just kind of get started...and...well..go. =P

Whoops...guess it was over 25 things huh?

Anyways love you all have a wonderful day--it's beautiful outside.

Haha--I was hyper.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

So these last few days have been kind of crazyishness. Good crazyishness for the most part mind you--but crazyishness nonetheless.

I love my biology lecture teacher this semester--he actually makes it interesting *gasp*.

Friday we went skiing with the J girls minus Alise--oh my gosh I've missed that family. Like crazy bad. They are amazing. --note to self though-- it's alot harder being honest and open when you haven't been the "perfect" Christian. *scrunches forehead* But yes--lying on the side of the mountain on my way down it for the first time [it took me about 20ish mins] I had an epiphany.

Here it is kids--
I'm not very coordinated. At all. lol

But yes, I made it down multiple times without falling! Don't laugh-for me this is a very big step. You have no idea how bad I was the first time. lol

Hahaha Justin was kind of funny. =P He actually wasn't horrible, it was just entertaining.

Ok so Saturday was crazy too I got up at like six for reasons that won't be mentioned at this time and then I got lost and I was so tired and felt miserable. God sometimes wears me out so I can get it through my thick head that I really can't pull off anything without him.

Anyways! So I felt better Saturday night though--and...


This morning.

Naeem like endeared himself as a pastor to my heart.

He talked about what Mosaic is about. And I was very very happy.

I seriously know I'm suppose to be here right now. Yes. Wow.

He talked about what the Church is here for and yes.
How everything that we do must be motivated by love.
How the Church exists for the people who don't know God. How we are here for missions.
How we need to live by faith--and that if we take steps of faith--God will meet us there every step of the way.
It made me wayyy to happy. Seriously.
It made me want to spin around and smile ridiculously big and yes.

Ohhhh yes.

Bwha I'm psyched.


AND GUESS WHAT!!! They are doubling what they give to the community and internationally. And Naeem said--"I think we've been pathetic in this area."

It filled me with great joy and made my heart sing. =) Yaya.

Keep in mind this Church is just 3 years old.

It reminded me of Cornerstone--and for the record I do still want to go to California. =P But still I'm here right now--and this is where I need to be.

Anyways random--

What we define ourselves by and who/what we find our identity in is sooooooooo freaking important.

Question kids--What do you define yourself by? Please let me know? If you don't want anyone to know just don't put your name. =) Thanks though.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


As we approach January 20, please read the Bible’s many commands to Christians regarding our attitude toward the civil government. Remember that these commands were written when everyone knew that Jesus was executed by the government and every government was set against the belief that Jesus, not Caesar, was Lord.
Nero was no friend of Christians in the first century. Neither was Domitian. Today, the commands of scripture apply to Christians in China, in Iraq, and in India. They apply to all Christians living under hostile governments.

Jesus lived under a cruel Roman governor, yet he submitted and obeyed that governor, even to the point of death.

Let us speak the truth in love. Let us love those we may not agree with. Let us leave the right example for children and young people. And let’s not engage in blatant sin, and then excuse it, in the name of politics.
Read it and the comments if you can. =)


And we have a new president.

Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. =)

There are things I like about Bush, there are things I like about Obama.

There are things I don't like about Bush, there are things I don't like about Obama.

The abortion thing is the glaring thing that I dislike about makes me incredibly sad.

Abortion is murder. The end.

On the flip side of things I don't think Bush is the same person that he was first going into office.

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I pray for my country and my country's leader.

But my hope doesn't lie in where I live or who's in power.

My hope must be completely wrapped up in the fact that Jesus is my Savior, and that he absolutely loves me...and that doesn't change no matter who the President is--or which party is in power at any given time.

God will use President Obama. How? I don't know. I didn't know how he was going to use Bush, or Clinton. I don't know how exactly he's going to use me for that matter; but he is.

This is His story and nothing anyone can do can mess it up. He's completely in control.

Whether we have freedom or not.
Whether we have a Republican President or Democratic President.
Whether we are at war or at peace.
Whether we have a good economy or bad.

Whether we live--or whether we die.

Let's not lose sight of that, please?

//end tangent//

For the record--I did vote for McCain though. =P

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I love puppies...but..

I want one of these.
Adorableness?!? Yes.
Don't tell me you don't want one too--I know you do. ; )

Friday, January 16, 2009

What is love? Love is kind and patient and always enduring
Love is kisses and smiles. Love is warmth and ecstasy.
Love is laughter and joy.
But the greatest part of love is death.
No greater love hath any man.
Dance of the Dead, 1959

Brrrrrr, omgee, it's freezing out. Seriously.
Ted Dekker and I get along splendidly on a cold day. Well...most books and I get along well on a cold day.
Come to think of it....books and I get along well pretty much anytime...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I had a lovely eveninggg.

Goodnight world.

I am me.

I think.



So I finally finished putting pictures up last night/this morning.

I really do love my green room

Disregard the mess on my bed and also the crazy old lighthouses on my blinds. lol

My black chairs in my corner

My amazing corkboard. =)

I match my room =) It's my green passion shirt that I love dearly as well =)

The only picture frame I haven't had time to fill yet...

I finally moved my desktop to my room and that's my white board that I never write on--Ying does though. lol

Stephen: What's that pounding?
Me: I'm just putting picture frames up.
Stephen: There are probably pictures of starving children....that'll be depressing. But that'd be so you.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Let's go back

Lets go back Lauren, I concur.

Friend I miss you.

Long post that really doesn't make alot of sense. lol

I want to be so amazingly in love with God that I'll do anything, say anything, and go anywhere he would want me to.

Not in the dry, dead way that it's so easy to fake. I don't want to just say that I'm in love with God--I want it to actually be a reality in my life. I want to be enraptured and swept off my feet.

As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,
so will your God rejoice over you.
Isaiah 62:5

I think so often though, at least for myself I can try to conger up love for God--try to dwell on my sinfulness and how much he has given me. I try and muster up love's what as a "Christian" you're suppose to do. Your suppose to love God.

More and more though I'm finding that I love God most, when I think of how much me loves and adores me. EVEN in my sin, even in my falleness.

The verse above says that God rejoices over you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride. I don't think that the fact that God calls the church his bride is something we should just gloss over, or simply stick in our dictionary of Christianese.

The fact that God loves you, that freaking much should never be something that becomes dry and dead. And it can't be something that you try to force life into either. It must, the whole concept of it must be driven but a very alive, real, deep, consuming passion. It is what that requires. I don't think a bridegroom who is crazy about his bride, will be psyched about her trying to conger up feelings of passions for him because she feels she has to or because it's what she's suppose to do. Passions are something you can't force yourself to have. Matters of the heart can't be faked.

I don't even know if any of this is making sense....


My heart is so full and I get these concepts in my head. These ideas keep blowing me away and pursuing me relentlessly.
I want to write them down here, I want to capture just a taste of this passion and love. But words seem to fail and feel so inadequate.

Many of you don't know--and some of you do what this past year has been like for me. It's been crazy. Well comparatively crazy, to some I guess it wouldn't be a huge thing, but to me I was quite insane.

I'm not saying that I didn't get myself into it--that I didn't screw up. Cause frankly I did.

But the fact of the matter is that regardless of what I've done or been through--that doesn't have to dictate what I do now.

And to be honest--though I might wish I could change some of my actions and how I responded to circumstances of the course of this last year...I can't say that I wish I was at a different place.

I can see now how God--even in the midst of my mistakes has still managed to interfere and have a relationship with me regardless. I can't say I've handled this the best--but I can say confidently that God has provided and that he has been there regardless. Holding me, Loving me, Forgiving me, Redeeming me.

I can also confidently say that I know I was made for this and whatever God brings my way hence forth. He won't give me anymore than I can handle and He will be there no matter what.

Heck I might as well just say it huh? Ok screw it then.

I'm a pretty open and honest about my shortcomings [at least eventually].

Ok so you guys really want to know? If you don't that's totally cool and you can just stop reading.

Actually if you've read this far I'm impressed congratulations for withstanding my incoherency for this length of time. =)

Here we go--my life the last...while. lol[in an incredibly SHORT and CONDENSED version]

Please know that I know that I was the one who was in the wrong. I know I was selfish, prideful. And I'm not saying a word about how I think it was handled on the flip side of things. That's not my problem even if it did affect my life--I'm only responsible for my actions--I know this. That said....

I'm so done with not being being open and honest.

So starting? Um 2007 fall I was meeting with a certain boy without my parents knowing.
Then January 2008 we finally both told each other that we liked each other, at a conversation at church that we were having because he was apologizing to me for coming over to my house or something. [we aren't allowed to talk still]

We were good for a while [a couple weeks?] then started meeting on Weds again until I broke down in the beginning of May and told a good friend of mine because I just couldn't take it anymore. They encouraged me to tell my parents (who took it heroically) and then he told his and we weren't allowed to talk really at all. [although we weren't really able to talk before either but yeah...]

So life moves along- I plan for NA and graduation that came shortly after that. I get to NA, probably the most interesting NA of my life...regardless of the fact it was my first one. =P There I end up hanging out with the a fore mentioned boy. Drama happens. I get fed up, as does he. With a couple people's responses to things.

So then we decide to elope in January of 2009, after we quietly left one of the sessions to talk about everything that had been going on. Then we August, then it changed to a week after I turned 18. [if you ever want to know about laws and requirements just let me know =P]

His parents find out that he's been talking to me because I tried calling him one time and then crap hits the fan so to speak[this is in the beginning of June 2008] . Both sides of parents find out about our plans because I have a really big mouth and told the friend that I had told last time about us meeting.

Drama ensues and life become quite....yeah. Nough said.

People get upset and boy and I aren't allowed to look at each other. I manage to finish my summer classes and actually find out what it means to depend on God and have him carry you when you don't have strength.

We were very good for until completely randomly ran into each other at Walmart (long story) and then...yeah.

So kids there you go. When I say it's been a long year--now you know that I mean it.
Here you go.

Now when I write stuff, you aren't going to be in the dark about me and you know that I'm so incredibly far from perfect and that I'm can screw up in major ways, and sin incredibly much--but I'm still loved by God. [crazy isn't it?]

So there you go, now you know.

You don't have to be friends with me anymore if you don't want to. =) I understand.

But guys I am still Ming...I think...possibly...=P

[...but apparently I'm a jerk too...hmm...]

Friday, January 9, 2009

Kiss [the book Kiss silly kids. =P]


omgee. I forgot.

Ted Dekker is like my author hero [when it comes to fiction works that is] and I forgot that his latest book came out 3 days ago.

I put it on hold just now at the library [cause I'm good like that].

I would normally buy the book--because I am impatient like that. But I am working on it. =P

I'm the 11th person inline for it though *cries*.

Yes, I'm being mellow dramatic.

Thank you very much.

=P I think I'm hyper or something...
Oh yes.

I finally remembered to listen to Brant Hanson today! So that's what I'm doing this morning.

He is the one reason I wish I lived in South Florida. California still wins hands down though. =Plol

For those of you who don't know--Brant has a morning radio talk show host.

He's amazing. He think outside the box, writes bluntly, is an idealist, and makes people kind of upset sometimes. I love him because he makes you think about everything. And in a good way.

Not only that but the radio station is a really good CHRISTIAN radio station. Not that I have anything against our Christian Radio stations here. =P Ok...maybe I do. lol You guys just can't understand the awesomeness unless you listen to it. So I doubt anyone will actually listen to it...

But! justin case =P.
WEEKDAYS 6:00AM - 10:00AM
Describe “Mornings with Brant”: Very quirky, very fun, and very honest
Originally from: Assumption, Illinois. Population 1,000, “counting dogs.”

There you go--now you have no excuse. =P

So yes.
I think I was going to say something else...but now I don't remember...

Which might be better anyways. =P I'm really noticing that when I post late at night when sleep will refuse to come to me, that I write with really is kind of...well yes. =P Oh well.


Have a wonderful day peoples. =)

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Look what I found!!!

It's the audio book! And it was less than six dollars! [not including tax] I was so excited. =)

Haha this is a less serious post, sorry guys I've been kind of heavy lately. There's just alot going on in my head.


Jesus- loved those who were outcast
We- love those who are just like us

Jesus- gave to the poor
We- take care of ourselves

Jesus- associated himself with those of questionable character
We- make sure that even if we hang around non-Christians that they are "good" people [and you know perfectly well what I'm talking about]

Jesus- reach out to a lost and dying world
We- create bubbles where we are oh so safe and secure

Need I continue?

There's such a disconnect...How did this happen?

The American Church is known for her hypocrisy and self-righteousness. Can we change her reputation?

Can we start reaching out instead of reaching down? Can we meet people where they are at and love them there? Even if there means saturated in sin, drugs, sex alcohol? Could we go to prisons and go to the poor and actually live radical lives? Could we do that? Would you do that?

*sigh* Sometimes I have my doubts.

Sorry kids I'm just kind of discouraged right now. I had a conversation with a friend of mine who decided to become an agnostic because Christians they've interacted with haven't been...well Christ like to them. Now I'm by no means disregarding anything this person has done--they've done wrong and sinned. I'm not saying that and I told them that as well. I told them that I'm sorry that other people haven't been fair and haven't loved them--but I also said I don't agree with stuff they do and how they act sometimes.

Grrrr where is the line?

Loving the sinner and hating the sin?

To often I think we fall on either extreme. Some people turn their nose up at sinners and don't love them as Jesus does. They hate the sin and the sinner. Others I think love the sinner but condone the sin. How can we practically live this out--hate the sin, love the sinner.

If we do this--I promise it will be uncomfortable. Breaking boxes and popping bubbles is. These people very well may try to make you uncomfortable and push limits. They may cuss and make inappropriate jokes and such. I can promise you that if you insert yourself in the world to be in it but not of it--you will run into this. Sinners who haven't been saved can't be expected to live like saved people [duh]. But can you handle it? Jesus walked, hung around, and associated himself with people like that. He loved people like that. How can we do anything less?

Anyways sorry I went on a tangent--I'm just weary, discouraged and tired.

Can we give hope and love to those who need it most?

I pray we can.

God show me/us how.
Even if it means breaking boxes and stretching people beyond what they consider comfortable.
Show us how much you love us, and how much you love them. Bind us tightly to your heart so that we might learn what it beats for.
Sweep us off our feet and give us courage to live radically, to follow you in everything we do.

Night kids.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Where's my faith?

God blesses radical choices with supernatural results. Where’s your faith?
-Francis Chan 

Can we live radically kids?

I mean really radically?

Can I live radically?

Live in a way that just screams insanity if there isn't a heaven? Can I be that kind, that loving, that generous? That sold out?
Francis Chan, pastor of Cornerstone Church in California's Simi Valley, says churches are often theologically accurate when they teach about giving. But they haven't reoriented themselves.
Chan asks, "Do our actions show that we really believe that our money belongs to God?" Cornerstone gives away 55 percent of what it brings in. And staff members have tried to model financial generosity in a number of ways. Some raided their retirement accounts and gave the money to organizations serving the poor and needy. Some started businesses and donated the profits (and then their free time) back to the church.
The example spread to church members. A college student moved into his car, showered and shaved at friends' homes, and gave what had been his rent money to a Christian aid organization. A single professional moved in with his parents so he could give away a large percentage of his paycheck.
Cornerstone faced a difficult choice when its leadership looked into purchasing a new building. After five years of stagnant attendance, the church realized that its building limited growth. So Chan and the rest of the pastoral staff brought in consultants and architects who laid out a sweeping new campus for the church: an extended complex of buildings, brick streets, fountains, and gardens.
"I really felt it was repulsive," Chan says. "It showed us spending money for our own comfort."
Chan showed the designs to the congregation. When the gasps subsided, he told them it was off the table. Instead of a huge sanctuary, he explained, they were building an open-air amphitheater and saving millions of dollars. A few small buildings would suffice for offices. "There is greater joy in sacrifice," Chan says, "than when we give just out of our excess."
That greater joy comes from habitual, routine, and generous giving—even automated giving—and forms our lives. It's what teaches the giver to be cheerful.
I want to be like those staff members--I want to be like that college student. I want to have a relentless desire to become like Jesus. So much that I'm actually willing to do anything to attain it. Even if it means for me going to school right now. blech.

See when I talk about being tired of mediocre and nominal Christianity--I'm talking about the Christianity that doesn't impinge on our life at all. Where we can go to Church, serve in the Church, Love people within our Church, but somehow miss our Fathers heart for the world. 

Step outside your box for just a moment [yes, you do have a box--I promise you... everyone does]. And think about it for a moment. Yes, you're in school right now. 

But what about after that? What's your life going to look like? Ok, you get married. Then what? You have kids? Ok then what? 

See people, infact my reasoning goes deeper than just me--but I want to model my life in such a way that shows my kids [if I ever am blessed to have any] that I really buy this whole Christianity thing. I don't just want to know theology and doctrine--I want to believe it so much that I actually live it. I want them to see that I really trust and depend on a God to take care of me in every way. That I believe that so much that I'm willing even to give my money to the poor and needy even if it impinges on my life style and my comforts.

I want to be able to be willing to go anywhere in the world, do anything for this amazing Savior of mine.

Because he swept me off my feet and captured my heart. =) 

And I want nothing more than to do what He wants me to do--even it hurts like heck.

Not because I feel like I have to--but because I want to.

Because believe it or not I absolutely love and adore this Father of mine.

It's a beautiful day out.

Warm[ish], Sunny, Windy, Lovelyness.

Long post coming later...maybe...perhaps?


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

It's 4:30 and I can't sleep.

So this is what I work on when I can't sleep... *click it to enlarge*

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Proverbs 19:17
He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD,
and he will reward him for what he has done.

Proverbs 14:31
He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker,
but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.

Psalm 140:12
I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor
and upholds the cause of the needy.

Proverbs 21:13
If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor,
he too will cry out and not be answered.

Isaiah 3:15
What do you mean by crushing my people
and grinding the faces of the poor?"
declares the Lord, the LORD Almighty.

Isaiah 41:17
"The poor and needy search for water,
but there is none;
their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the LORD will answer them;
I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

Amos 5:12
For I know how many are your offenses
and how great your sins.
You oppress the righteous and take bribes
and you deprive the poor of justice in the courts.

Matthew 11:5
The blind receive sight, the lame walk,
those who have leprosy[a]are cured, the deaf hear,
the dead are raised,
and the good news is preached to the poor.

Matthew 19:21
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go,
sell your possessions and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow me."

Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at him and loved him.
"One thing you lack," he said.
"Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow me."

Luke 18:22
When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing.
Sell everything you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow me."

Luke 6:20
Looking at his disciples, he said:
"Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.

Luke 12:33
Sell your possessions and give to the poor.
Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out,
a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted,
where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.

James 2:5
Listen, my dear brothers:
Has not God chosen those who are poor
in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith
and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?

Revelation 3:17
You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.
You get the theme?

In cased you missed--God cares alot about the poor. The people that are typically looked down on by societies at large. He actually really loves them.

Why do we strive so hard to become rich? Why do we strain after worldly riches so much?

I am a chicken =P I removed the other stuff. lol

Oh's only a half hour before Brant Hanson comes on. lol

That I am not alone in this crowd.

I’ve been sleeping in for days,
‘Cause when I am awake,
I will have to face my life.
And I’m hoping it’s a phase.
The walls that I create
Can only make it seem alright.
And I get carried away like I’m the only one
Who’s ever felt the way that I do,
But I can hear you say, “You’re not the only one.
Everybody hopes to get through.”

And it’s got me sleeping in.
Every day God, it’s the same thing.
Yeah, you caught me sleeping in.
I’m still hiding; I’m still waiting.
I need you here with me to face the world outside
‘Cause I’m tired of sleeping in.

I’ve been waking up with fear,
‘Cause all that I can hear
Is the ringing of alarms downtown.
It’s been going on for years,
But you have made it clear
That I am not alone in this crowd.
And I get carried away like I’m the only one
Who’s ever felt the way that I do,
But I can hear you say, “You’re not the only one.
Everybody hopes to get through.”

Open up my eyes.
I’m tired of sleeping in
In a world that’s dying to wake up.

I’m done with sleeping in.


I'm so tired of not fitting in. I'm so tired of never saying what I really think because it's so crazy and idealistic. I'm tired of settling when I know there's something more out there.

I can't be that crazy. Can I? Do I really want the impossible?

Matthew 13

44"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

45"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

We just don't live like it's that... And personally I don't think it's just a matter of trying harder.

I don't just want to try harder. I'm tired of trying harder--and to be honest it rarely gets me anywhere.

I don't want to try harder--I want to more fully understand what I've been given and what I have. Because I truly get it, and I mean really get it--then I can't help but live differently.

If I get God's love for me, I'll naturally respond with love to him. If I get how much God loves the world--I won't be able to help loving the world as well.

I won't be able to contain the joy that I've been given and I'll want to let everyone know about this treasure that I've found.

Honestly I don't think God wants us to pull ourselves by our boot straps. I don't think He's interested if what we do is motivated by anything other than love.

Monday, January 5, 2009

I don't know.

I am a lover. I am a shame.
I am appalled by what I fame.
I am a lover, but I've had my share of
flirting with the darkest affairs.

You can find me here with my head against the wall
lost in my regrets and every time I fall
You catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band.

I have a lover, faithful and true
cares for me in all that I do.
I have a lover.
My song He has sung with love on
His lips and grace on His tongue.

You can find me here with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets and every time I fall
You catch me in Your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band.
A promise from Heaven, a promise from You,
a promise to love, I will hold onto.

God of new beginnings, to You I cry,
Teach me how to love. Teach me how to die.
In death there's forgiveness, and forgiveness calls on new life!

You can find me here with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets and every time I fall
You catch me in your hands.
Now playing: NeverTheLess - Lover
Song=love it.

I don't really know what to write.
I'm kind of crazy kids.
I don't fit in.
With anyone.

I'm tired of boring, nominal Christianity.
I don't want my life to make sense to the world.
Also I want to live a life of risk and adventure.
Oh yes.

Pray for me.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

50 kids happy to get a Nintendo Wii for Christmas - watch more gamer videos

Ht: Brant Hanson

There are aspects I really dislike about our culture....

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Pale Blue dot

" The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena.
On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of,

Every human being who ever was, lived out their lives.
Thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines

Every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every hero and coward,
Every creator and destroyer of civilization,

Every saint and sinner in the history of our species,
Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that,

In glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance,

The delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe,
Are challenged by this point of pale light,
And underscores our responsibility and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot."
Pale Blue Dot - Story of the Year

A little perspective....

And I think my life is challenging?

Zimbabwe, 2000 - In a tuberculosis ward where the great majority of the patients suffer from AIDS.

Romania, 1990 - An orphanage for " incurables".

Bosnia, 1993 - Wounded soldier.

Sudan, 1993 - Famine victim in a feeding center.

Somalia, 1992 - Child starved by famine, a man-made weapon of mass extermination.

Somalia, 1992 - Famine victim sewn into burial shroud.

Alabama, 1994 - Punishment post on the chain gang.

Rwanda, 1994 - Survivor of Hutu death camp.

Zaire, 1994 - Hutu refugees were struck by cholera and buried in mass graves.

West Bank, 2002 - Mourning the dead in Jenin refugee camp.

Indonesia, 1998 - A beggar washed his children in a polluted canal.

Indonesia, 1998 - A homeless child slept off a drug high on the streets of Jakarta.

New York, 2001 - Collapse of south tower of World Trade Center.

New York, 2001 - Searching for survivors.

New York, 2001 - Ruins of World Trade Center.

New York, 2001 - Ground Zero.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Lord let me feel it, the way that You would feel,
Broken for the pain that people bear
Lord let me taste it, the tears from broken reeds,
Teach me to pray with weeping for those with needs.....

Draw close, to the lonely ones, to the hurting ones, to the angry ones
Jesus bring peace
Draw close, to the torn apart, to the broken heart, to the one who's far,
Jesus bring peace, and draw close
There's alot going on in my head right now.

Frankly I'm ticked.

I'm tired of people that have been hurt and nothing being done about it. I'm tired of people turning a blind eye and turning a deaf ears to things that aren't exactly what they want to hear about things. Or at the very least minimizing major issues.

Why am I so ticked?

Because I just read this story about how a situation at a church was handled by some pastors, and it ticked me off.

I'm sorry but you don't; you don't start a meeting where you are telling the parents of a three year old girl that their daughter was molested by a fifteen year old boy with, “You are going to have an opportunity to forgive today.” What. the. crap.

Excuse my language but honestly? Are you serious?

Not only this but then a year or so later the kid is still in CM serving in the 2 year old class! WHAT?!

Are you serious? No. Really.

Why did they let him? Because they didn't tell the rest of the church that there was a problem--so...if there wasn't a problem then why wouldn't he be allowed to serve? Oh my gosh.

I'm sorry but I can't be silent about this sort of thing when I'm as worked up as I am.

I'm sorry but stuff like this is wrong.

See if I want a heart that beats like my Saviors--I'm sorry I don't think he'd just sit by and let this happen and not say anything about it? Sorry but I just don't think that'd happen.

Guys I'm so far from perfect--I know. Trust me I know. But does that mean that I sit idly by while stuff like this happens?

It makes my heart ache.

"I'm no David, but I too want a heart that beats like my Fathers in heaven."
-Katy Boldroff

That means I love people enough to actually say and do something. I want my heart to match my Fathers.

Beat for beat. Leap for leap. ...Break for break.

If you want the whole story just let me know--you probably don't though, ignorance is bliss. If you leave me a comment though with your email or something I will send it to you.


Also kind of on a rabbit trail--but it was something I've been thinking about. Gossip and slander can be defined as -- involving or telling someone who isn't part of the problem or part of the solution. I think many people that read this/would read this would hold to that definition. Which is fine, I would agree that in some cases that this would be true. But I was thinking about it...what if say in a situation like the one above I'm telling someone to protect them or their children? I'm sorry but if I'm a mom and I'm considering watching letting the a fore mentioned teenage watch my kids--I'd want to know about it! Not because I'm interested being in the know or because I like spreading gossip but simply because I'd want to protect my kids from preventable, needless, pain perhaps.

Is that wrong?

Also--how many of you watch the news? Or read the newspaper? Or read articles online about current events?

When any of those things have a story or a piece that isn't a...flattering portrayal of people and their deeds; is that gossip and slander? Because listening to slander and gossip is just as bad as being the one saying it--isn't it?

You aren't problem or part of the solution most of the time are you? Grant it sometimes you could be--but honestly most of the time--are you?

Do I not make any sense at all? Am I losing it?

I'm sorry but I've got to think things through and I'm going to question things.

I'm done swallowing things without asking.

And I'm this - close to being done with institutionalized religion.

I thought Jesus came to give us something radically different?

Screw it. I'm an idealist when it comes to Christianity and I don't think that's wrong.

Anything that is motivated by anything less than Love for God and Love for People is going to burn anyways.

Ok I'm done for now.

*Happy New Years everyone

I want really bad to apologize here for...being me. But I can't, cause I'm not sorry.

If you don't like it--please don't read my blog--this is more of a personal journal than anything else anyways.
Pictures say a thousand words and I'm to tired to write. =P


Sammy B and Mark are hilarious though--and musically singing though...