Monday, May 18, 2009

Dying and Heaven doesn't sound bad right now. At all.

Life sucks sometimes.

Really really really really sucks.

I'm afraid and this is hard.
And I haven't cried this a long time.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

More of a Journal Entry...

I had a splendid day Saturday--it was a much needed day off from...everything.

I hung out with Lauren alllll day, and the guys for part--they had to leave early though. Between talking, eating, laughing, pool, goofing off, pool, talking, eating, taking walks through spider webs, picking wildflowers, laughing, and then finishing it off---- sitting on a deck facing a tall wood (I love woods) having good conversation; it was a very close to perfect day. It was lovely. I miss those people. Alot.


School starts Tuesday!!!!!!!! =D I'm so excited!

Haha, ok not really. At all actually.

But you gotta do what you gotta do. =)

Six weeks of almost 4 hour classes every Tuesday&Thursday doesn't exactly sound exactly...thrilling but it's ok. =)

This is my prayer.

Dear Father/God/Jesus,

I want to love you more. I want to know you more.
Do WHATEVER it takes to get my attention.
If I lose my job--it's just a job.
If I have to lose my family--it's just a family.
If I have to lose every single one of my friends--their just friends.
If I have to lose my boyfriend...he's just a boyfriend.

Even if you have to take my life--take my life.

It's just a life.

Show me how much more You are.
Show me how much more You are worth.

LoveYou Amen,


PS. Corny and sounds almost fake--but I do mean it...

Friday, May 15, 2009

All The Broken Pieces

Did you feel, feel it break
From all the weight of your mistake?
You never knew how much it cost
Feels like your innocence is lost
So much for the perfect life
So much for the perfect day
It’s like no matter how you try
Perfection’s just too far away

So lift them up to me
All the broken pieces
All the broken pieces of your life
To me
All the broken pieces
All the broken pieces of your life

Did you hear what I said?
Did you read the words I wrote down in red?
I was broken once for you
And no one loves you like I do
And that’s the beauty of this grace
It can put the pieces back in place
And shine reflections of forgiveness
In a million different ways

I can take even your greatest mistake
Every scar, every tear, every break
And I can turn it in to something more beautiful
Than you have ever seen
So lift them up to Me

I don't know about you but what is it about night that makes one (me) become introspective...


It's like I have words pent up in my head and their aching to escape through my mouth, my fingers. Anywhere. But it's like when they do come out, they're all jumbled and confused, not actually conveying everything that my head longs to convey. They do not say anything like what my heart is aching for them to say.

It's a very frustrating and maddening thing. *scowl*


Friday, May 8, 2009


I know a girl who’s growing up too fast
She’s stuck between her future and her past
‘Cause she’s just a baby but the doctors say
She’s got a baby on the way

And now the devastation makes her start to cry
How could this be happening she wonders why
But they’re talking options like it’s just another day
And the choice is hers to make

There’s a life inside you
There’s a beating heart
There’s a child of wonder
Shining like a star
There’s a life inside you

I know a boy who’s all caught up
In his addictions and they’re tearing him up
And now he’s hearing voices telling him it’s time to let go
But if I could talk to that boy
I would die for him to know

We all arrive here in this place
Imperfect people in need of grace
But that’s why God sent His only Son to die
So that every broken heart could have a life inside
So, just open up your broken heart
Can you feel it …

So kids...How are you guys doing?

My life has been....interesting as of late. To say the least....

I finished my class this semester with a good average so I'm relieved about that--I'm taking a summer class that starts in just over a week so I'm not exactly jumping for joy about that. =P

6 weeks of no Frisbee on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Lol that sounds incredibly It's nothing what it use to be but it's fun sometimes lol Alright I'm going to shut up about it now.

Anyways. I have a way of getting myself into impossible situations...did you know this? Life will be moving merrily along and then all of a sudden I run into some brick wall of a situation.

I miss old friends. Badly. I ranted about it. lol
Lol Airband kids? We were really stupid sometimes--but it was so much fun. lol

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I should be studying right now. I have a final today. But I'm so tired of school.

^^ I wrote that this afternoon =P

But then I went and took my final and I didn't fail so life is good.

One more test Wednesday and then I am done! =) It makes me very happy.

Until the 18th when I start my summer class. -_- Kinda sucks the fun right of getting off of school huh? =P
Oh wellllll.

I want to do something with my life. I don't know what though right now and it's driving me crazy....

I want a spreadsheet.

Really really bad.