Monday, December 31, 2007

2008...almost. =P

Ladies and Gentlemen. 2008 is almost here. How scary is that? I turn 18 and can vote this year. Freakyyy =P

It's been a long year. I wouldn't change a thing though. Honest. As I site here thinking about all the stuff that has happened and gone on I honestly can say that I trust God. I trust He knows better than I do about what's good for me.

Now I'm not saying that everything that's come up has been "solved" or that I can see the end results of my current circumstances. All I'm saying is that in the midst of them, I have faith that God is good. There is nothing in my life that escapes His notice and there is nothing in my life that hasn't been sovereignly planned. There really is a reason for everything. A reason that my family runs late to alot of things [=P], a reason that my dad was arrested, a reason that I'm as strange as I am, a reason that I care to much, a reason that I read the last book I read, a reason that friendships have developed and grown, and there's a reason I'm sitting here at this very moment typing this. I really honestly believe this.

So that is the mindset that I have as I welcome in this new year.

I love you all really I do, I hope you all of a marvelous new years day, and an amazing year filled with love, faith, and joy. Because He loves us---really He does.
When I search,
For You, every day
I find how whole You make me when I
Lay down all of my will,
I am found within Your love

If I lay down all of my will--- I am found in His love.
I want to be found in His love---but I want to keep my will...
God, please help me lay down my will, my ideas, all of it...
It's Your's, it was never mine to begin with so just please, please, please take it.



Oh isn't that enlightening. =P

There's a reason for everything. And God is good.

He is guys. I promise.

Now playing: Future of Forestry - Speak to Me Gently
Future of Forestry - Sacred Place

Friday, December 28, 2007

It is changed. Today is a rather completely dreary day.
I need a good book to read.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I hope you all had a lovely, lovely Christmas.
And at some point here I'm going to be changing my blog to ---
So yes. Heads up. =)
If you only read this out of a feeling of obligation, then this is the perfect opportunity to "lose" my blog. =P

Another note: Hillsong is amazing =)

No longer I but Christ in me
Cause it’s the truth that set me free
How could this world be a better place?
But by thy mercy and by thy grace

Now playing: Hillsong - What The World Will Never Take

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


Sing hey! Sing hey!
For Christmas Day;
Twine mistletoe and holly.
For a friendship glows
In winter snows,
And so let's all be jolly!
~Author Unknown

We may not have snow, but friendship does glow.
Yes, I know that was corny.
Oh well. =P
Merry Christmas everyone.
Love you all.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Followed or Drawn?

The ability I have to follow God; is not predicated on my ability to follow Him.
The capacity I have to follow Him; is predicated on His ability to draw me.
I have no ability to come to God on my own. None. There is nothing in me that would choose God. Therefore the only explanation that makes sense is not that I was looking, not that I was following. The only thing that makes sense is I was drawn. Drawn by an deep, intoxicating, unfathomable Love [God].
It is only the Father's grace and love, that draws me into a relationship with the Son---which then leads back to a full relationship with the Father.
It's only through His grace that I have the opportunity to come. And it's only through His grace I have the ability to come.

Think about that. I mean really think about that.

Now, I'm going to go sing and worship and love --- because I'm loved. Truly I am.

He loves me.

He loved me before and He loves me after.

It makes me happy.

I'm debating whether or not I want to go with
instead of readitif-youwant.
I don't know it just sounds to like stuck on myself or something...
So yeah, I want to change it. =P

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Getting my wisdom teeth pulled and random thoughts.

Oh the joys of having wisdom teeth pulled. =P
The bleeding has stopped now, so that's nice. My entire jaw is completely numb though.
It's going to be a wondrous Christmas break.
My oral surgeon was really really nice though. =)
Oh and she said I had massive teeth...that was comforting.

Edit [it's like 7:30]
My mouth is no longer numb and my lip doesn't feel huge anymore! It makes me happy. =P

I've been reading for most of the day...

The Weight of Glory is an amazing book. I love it. I love C.S. Lewis. He's brilliant.

"If God is satisfied with the work, the work may be satisfied with itself."
--The Weight of Glory

And due to the fact my sister has abandoned me to go to a Christmas party, I have also been doing something I abhor --- watching movies by myself. *gasp* No, Alien vs Predator though. =P I like chick flicks. =P

Future of Forestry is amazing. You should listen to them.

Like a child I'm gazing
Into wondrous grace
For You have been the love that fell like sun upon my face
Like a child I'm gazing
Into wondrous love
You're taking me to places that my heart is dreaming of

Broken I was crawling
And You saw my tears were falling
Falling down like rivers to Your heart
When my world was folding
God, You saw my prayers were flowing
Flowing out like rivers to Your heart

I love God. I seriously do. =)

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

There's always something, isn't there?

[Edit: People are not pains. Especially not some. Just wanted to be perfectly clear about that. =P]

Oh life.

I know I've posted this quote before. But I needed to read it again.

"I want you to know that the Bible says to you. today. If you are being cut and pruned by your circumstances it's not 'cause He hates you. It's because he wants you to grow and in that area. So not only is it just random, because he's not capricious. "I want them to grow so I'll slice them here." No, it doesn't work that way, he says "I want to see this in their life, I want to see this in their heart, I want to see this grow out of them, so I'm going to cut them right here." Very specifically, very intentionally. So you guys have the ability right now if you believe in Christ, if you abide in the Vine, if that's true of you; you can look at any circumstance in your life and go, "You know what that's interesting cause if that's happening it means that God wants me to grow in that area and if He does it, He's going to finish the job." And you can count on that."
Brian Colmery

That's really, really, really comforting. My God is good... There is a reason behind everything that happens. Everything guys. God wants me to grow...hmmmmm

I guess it goes back to finding all my joy and giving everything I have to God. Because He deserves it and it's all about His glory.

Oh life.

Ok I'm going to stop being introspective and serious. 'Cause if I keep doing it --- I'll go mad. =P


I love the Mrs. George so much. And she's kind not to just assume things ; )

She's my favoritest Mrs. George ever.

And she's adorable. =)

And the puppies are cute too. =)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

God's amazing.

You are the sun shining down on everyone
Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere you are is warmth and light
Another note: Lauren's cool too. =)


"The Moral Law tells us the tune we have to play: our instincts are merely the keys..."

--Mere Christianity

Monday, December 17, 2007


I would love a white Christmas.
I'm not holding my breath though. =P
Christmas is in 8 days.
That's scary.
I'm not ready this year...

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Oh life....

Uhhhh. yeah. Why do I not think and do such stupid stuff? Why?
It'd be easier to be perfect.
Why does there always have to be something.?
I'd write out what happened--- but it'd take way to long...
Oh life...
Also I hate what your eyes feel like after you cry. It's annoying. =P

On a happier note; my friends are amazing and I'm so thankful for best friends. Honest.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

you should see the stars tonight
how they shimmer shine so bright
against the black they look so white
comin down from such a height

I'm done with school!!!

...well at least for this semester.
It makes me so happy. =)

I'm kinda tired though...

My night was made last night.
I saw a shooting star(s) last night.
That's not why it was made but it worked. =P

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Ying gets braces today.
I'm happy. No reason really---I just am. Though it could have something to do with the amazingness of happy music and amazing sermons on light. lol It's kinda complicated. =P
This semester is almost done!!!! I don't know if I want to graduate at Church with everyone or not...I don't know.

I think to much.
Way to much.
It's annoying.
But I'll live. =P

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


1 test left.

I'm so ready to be done with this semester....

Elaboration of sorts...

Since my State and Local class got out early and I don't have class until one I thought I might as well elaborate on my previous post.

I wasn't saying that God has taken things way or that He is even going to take any of it away. He very well may not. But it's just my willingness and faith if He was to take it away. Does that makes sense? [also I know at somepoint he will take something away, because I know I have a tendency to make idols out of things. So I'm not saying he never will because eventually I will lose something...but yeah now I'm just sorta going in circles so I'm going to stop. =P]

If God asked me to walk away from my possessions. Can I? If God said you need to leave everything that brings you comfort. Would I be able to go "Gone, done." because I love Him more than anything. He might never ask me to walk away from it all. But if He did, could I do it? I guess it's more of a hypothetical question.

And it really is funny how much stuff like that hurts just thinking about it. God hasn't even taken it away but yet just coming to the end of myself and just really sitting down and counting the cost hurts. My family, friends, material things, dreams and aspirations, are still "options" God hasn't said no to them at this time. Does that make sense? I still might be able to be a nurse, I still have good friends and family, ect..

But I know I have to be able to walk away from those things. I have to be able to say, "God you're so much more important than anything, my relationship with You is so much more important than anything else --- that I will gladly walk away from it all at the drop of the hat. I want to pursue you above all else and get to know You, because that is eternal life."

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Would I give it up willingly?

Would I give it up willingly? Anything?

No, seriously guys. If God told me to walk away from anything could I?

My future?
My life?

Or if in one fell swoop God was to prune all of this stuff out of my life. How would I respond?

As God has poured endless blessings into my life, have I become distracted by them? Have they stolen my gaze when it should be focused on the One giving instead of what is being given? My God is a jealous God. And I assure you that if there is something that I am to attached to that I will not let go of He will kindly graciously remove it for me.

Ugh. Can I really willingly give it all up?

This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break
At least I’ll be feeling something

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking
"What if I had given everything
instead of going through the motions."

Thursday, December 6, 2007


I haven't just written about my life in a while...

1. Maybe it's cause I don't have one?
2. Maybe it's because even though I may have a life [sad though it very well may be], I know you guys really don't care about it.

Either way I haven't done it. So this is going to be a pointless post about what has been going on.
1. School.
2. Studying for school.
In between time reading, conversing, and thinking.

My government teacher showed up today dressed up as Santa. I'm scarred for life.

Don't I lead a thrilling life? =P

Anyways, it's crazy to think that it's already December. *audible gasp* Only 19 days till Christmas [I'm almost done Christmas shopping but some people *cough* *cough* need to tell me what they want.] and 26 days until we ring in the bright and shiny new year. 2008. Whoa.

PS. For those of you who think I'm in denial about some things [you know who you are. =P]
It's not denial. See below.

Monday, December 3, 2007

rest in it because you have it....

My head is full.
My eyes are tired.
I am loved.
I was loved.
...loved guys.
God doesn't love me because of something I did or didn't do.
He loved me before...

"You are always, always, always, loved and you never need to go anywhere else other than God to find it. As a Christian in this room---as anyone in this room, I beg you, learn not to pursue God's love like you have to earn it but learn to rest in it because you have it. And let that motivate your whole life."
Now playing: Brian Colmery - John 3:16 - Part 1: For God so Loved the World