Sunday, September 30, 2007

Life is good; Eternal life is better! (remember that kids? oh yeah. lol)

So today was fun; at church Mr. Lechner and Mr. Morrison were ordained so that was cool. =)

Ok it took us forever and a day to actually get out of church today so we could go to lunch.

Certain people are insane though. insane. Namely *coughstephenandjustinGLACKENcough* and Zach is so incredibly mature and sane =P.
Everyone seriously disappeared from the church to go up around the church office to eat cookies and mingle, I stayed in the church and talked to people which was fine because I like talking. =) (plus Lauren had to go to lunch with some people so the longer we took the more chance I got to see her.=P)

So it ended up being Justin, Ying, Tyler, Mark, Sam, Stephen, Lauren ,and I going to lunch. And we went to Cookout. I hadn't seen Lauren in 2 weeks. Yeah kids that's right 14! days. But it's all good now. Lunch was fun.

Oh my gosh! And Justin's powerpoint worked, we used Thomas's laptop, the music worked, and it was hilarious. Yup. Sure it wasn't a mature joke but it was funny. =P lol (Tyler, we should find something else to do to him next Sunday just let me know if you have any ideas. =P jk)

"Look at him being a servant Ming! He's carrying 2 chairs!"
"Quiet"
^ and stuff like that for a whole hour....-_- lol

People throwing ice at each other. (namely Ying Justin and Lauren =P)

"Solus- top of the mountain"

If you remember anything else funny just post a comment because I'm really brain dead right now. lol And if it's something that doesn't need to be said then I'll just not publish it. =P

Thursday...4 days kids. 4 days.

hmmm pictures cause I can =P (unfortunately there are none of Mark or Sam...)
Lauren isn't fast enough for Scad's hand.

Stephen hiding behind his cup. (Lauren you couldn't ever be a photographer ninja =P)

We all love your smile Justin. lol

=)


I think he was saying how much he hated his picture being taken...lol

So Saturday night we went to dinner.
My sister is amazing.

so is he

I don't know what my mom is doing. lol

And so is he

I love them =) seriously.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

=)

So I was happy yesterday.
I found shirts that are long.
I found khaki pants that actually fit me.
*there are downsides to being tall...*

Songs coming on at like the perfect time kinda makes me laugh.

The weather is amazingly pretty again!!!1!!1
It just feels me with joy. =)
I slept with my window's open last night. =)
I spent like over 2 hours outside last night, and then I just went and sat out on the steps the morning and thought about stuff and pondered how awfully good God is.....it was stupendous.

Friday, September 28, 2007

121 Random thoughts


  1. My God is so amazing.
  2. He loves me.
  3. I love Him.
  4. My parents are the best and I love them.
  5. They are easy to talk to.
  6. Lauren is amazing
  7. Keri is pretty awesome too.
  8. Ying's hilarious.
  9. She's even funnier when watching "The Office"
  10. I love reading the Bible.
  11. I love reading period though.
  12. I seriously love it.
  13. I'm a dork/nerd/weirdo/strange girl. And I'm ok with that.
  14. I don't freak out that easily.
  15. But I worry way to much about what people think about me or if they're mad at me...
  16. And if I think they are I freak out...really bad.
  17. I miss Frisbee in the spring and in the rain.
  18. I miss Frisbee in general though. =P
  19. I love music.
  20. hellogoodbye
  21. Having joy all the time is harder than you would think.
  22. Good conversation brings me happiness.
  23. Ying is an all or nothing person.
  24. I really love God. I'm sorry but it's so awesome.
  25. Lauren and I can talk about anything.
  26. Kate is so sweet
  27. My friends love God. That just makes them cooler than cool.
  28. People think I'm a dork because I am. =)
  29. Justin and Carter are pretty awesome brothers.
  30. I say things like: Alright I'm done, the end, I'm rambling quite a bit, I'm sorry.
  31. Mercy and Grace.
  32. Stephen's got good taste in football teams. =P
  33. Life is amazing.
  34. 6 days!!! yeah I'm thrilled.
  35. Mark's the best at frisbee when he wants to be
  36. Joey comes up with awesome things like "red hummers" =P
  37. Oh and then 1 week. =P
  38. I love my best friends.
  39. And I want to go to passion. And I want Lauren Keri Mark Tyler Stephen and Joey to go too cause that'd be amazing. (Although technically Lauren, you can't =P just graduate for heavens sake...) Honestly guys though it's passion...DCB will be there anddd Francis Chan. uh huh.
  40. Thunder and Lighting are the best.
  41. My friends are the best, I couldn't have gotten better ones from an infomercial or something.
  42. Seriously I don't deserve any of them.
  43. Tyler does awesome things like own Sam's pants. =P haha
  44. Ying knows me so well it is annoying, no matter how much I try I can't hide stuff from her...-_-
  45. I love sunshine.
  46. I love watermelon.
  47. I love fruit in general though
  48. Whipped cream.
  49. Smarties?
  50. Alise and Jane-Claire are adorable as is Adrianna. =D
  51. The 4's is the most amazing class since ever. 8)
  52. I love carrots and apples
  53. I still get a kick of being about to bite an apple after about 5 years of not being able to.
  54. Wind is my friend; as long as long as we aren't playing Frisbee.
  55. I love being able to drive =D.
  56. Sarah E. is an amazing writer and she gets it. =D
  57. Love and Joy.
  58. I love God, He's my bff. =)
  59. I have only known Lauren not quite 2 years yet :-0
  60. Kate and Beth getting hyper and talking and laughing when we were suposse to be sleeping =)
  61. Ying isn't white. =P
  62. I don't think of myself as ugly but I don't think I'm particularly pretty either, and I'm ok with that. =)
  63. I was made to be pursued and to pursue my God.
  64. Befuddlement is an awesome word.
  65. So is mirth, inconceivable, abhorrent, inexplicably, ect.
  66. I'm inexplicably happy =D
  67. I like silver better than gold.
  68. I'm not perfect.
  69. I'm not a picky eater.
  70. I love people.
  71. I really need to work on this whole patience thing...
  72. Oh and this faith and trust thing too...
  73. Can't forget the love thing either....
  74. I dog ear pages and underline and use highlighter way to freely in books. =P
  75. I don't mind doing dishes and cleaning as stuff (most of the time)
  76. I like Calvin and Hobbes
  77. I like Pearls before Swine too
  78. I'm not very opinionated on many things.
  79. April showers bring May flowers.
  80. I like flowers.
  81. Skittles are the bomb.
  82. Candy is bad for you.
  83. I need to let my yes be yes, and my no be no.
  84. I listen to sermons...alot. =P (Cornerstone, Covenant Life, and Shoreline are my favoritest podcasts oh and Axis.)
  85. I enjoy helping people.
  86. Things make me laugh.
  87. Playing random card games with Lauren, Sam, and Ying in the ushers room was fun.
  88. Mrs. George is my favoritest Mrs. George ever. =D
  89. Beth and Ying are alot alike.
  90. I'm ready for fall....
  91. Then comes winter...
  92. Hot chocolate is the bestest after playing out in the snow.
  93. I hate shopping for winter clothes; due to the fact I can never find sweaters long enough.
  94. I'm to tall...well I feel like that sometimes.
  95. I use to have a habit of being invisible on AIM some of you might remember that... =P
  96. I'm working on trust God with my all.
  97. Pictionary is the best.
  98. Ying thinks she's funny, when she really is -_-
  99. Mint Chocolate Chip is the best ice-cream period.
  100. Jesus died for me.
  101. He's my hero. =)
  102. I love trees.
  103. I look better with long hair in my opinion.
  104. I loving singing but I pretty much can't.
  105. I enjoy giving people random gifts. And writing notes.
  106. And I love finding the perfect thing for someone.
  107. My highest aspiration is to Love God with all of my heart soul mind and everything else in between.
  108. Second highest aspiration is to love people as much as I love me.
  109. I'd say something but then if you read it then you might like freak =P
  110. I love Philipians 4:4 and the entire book of James and Hebrews 11 come to think of it I love the whole Bible...lol
  111. Heaven will be amazing...
  112. I can't wait.
  113. Dive Deep guys. Ohhh soooo deep.
  114. hmmmmmmmm
  115. I love thunderstorms.
  116. Reading a book during one is the best.
  117. Lemonade, yellow or pink doesn't matter.
  118. Chick-fil-a (what can I say I'm homeschooled=))
  119. Laughing with people about the most retarded things.
  120. "One more slap and you're out Justin!!" or "U-turn." Good times.
  121. Finding humor in the humorous
Saturday...=P
Then Sunday....
Maybe just Sunday...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

=D =D =D =P


**Warning when I'm happy I can't follow a single train of thought**

1 week guys, 1 week. Do you know how psyched I am!?

No, I don't think you do. =P

1 week from now I will be joyfully back amongst you all. =P I don't know if I was missed at all, and it's ok if I wasn't/am not, but I missed/am missing you alllll like crazzzzyyy; some more than others though =P (others meaning Lauren, since I haven't seen her in forever and a day...)

It's really made me appreciate being able to actually do things and my friends more. There's a reason for everything guys. ;) Everyyything. =) I must say that I was tempted at times (still kind of am; but when you can see the light at the end of the "tunnel" it's not as bad. =P) to be quite discontented with what I was or in this case wasn't able to do.

So it was good practice for me to learn that my joy shouldn't be tied to anything apart from God not even my life =P; to actually do what I read about in the Bible (what a novel idea...).

In the grand scheme of things this month isn't going to be that big of a deal. But when you are in the midst of something it's hard to think it's not a big deal when you are actually experiencing it. And not just to this thing (this is actually a sad example but I don't feel like divulging details of my life just so you can have a better example. =P).

I have the ability to be joyful allll the time. Uh huh. My God's that amazing. =D

Doesn't that look like fun!!!! haha, I know I'm a dork - get over it. =P




One sad thing. The weather is horridly hot again... =( At least in the afternoon. But the mornings are amazing.

early morning coolness + neverending + windows down on 85 + volume being loud enough to drown out my singing = this morning = amazingness

Oh oh and I finished an amazing project that is so great that I almost couldn't contain my mirth while sitting here in the computer lab; I did contain it though. (haha isn't mirth a funny word?) Anyways it was so funny once I got music on it that...wow, it's just hilarious.

"Top news goin' around; this is for all the lonely people."

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Made me think. hmmmm

(So I wrote this back in June but I never posted it, I ran across it last night and I really made me think. The quote at the bottom by Matt Moore is amazing.)

Amos 5:22-24
21
“I hate, I despise your feasts,
and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
22 Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them;
and the peace offerings of your fattened animals,
I will not look upon them.
23 Take away from me the noise of your songs;
to the melody of your harps I will not listen.
24 But let justice roll down like waters,
and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

1st Samuel 15:22
22 And Samuel said, “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
as in obeying the voice of the Lord?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
and to listen than the fat of rams.

Isaiah 1:11-14
11 “What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices?
says the Lord;
I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams
and the fat of well-fed beasts;
I do not delight in the blood of bulls,
or of lambs, or of goats. 12 “When you come to appear before me,
who has required of you
this trampling of my courts?
13 Bring no more vain offerings;
incense is an abomination to me.
New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations—
I cannot endure iniquity and solemn assembly.
14 Your new moons and your appointed feasts
my soul hates;
they have become a burden to me;
I am weary of bearing them.

Hosea 6:4-6
4 What shall I do with you, O Ephraim?
What shall I do with you, O Judah?
Your love is like a morning cloud,
like the dew that goes early away.
5 Therefore I have hewn them by the prophets;
I have slain them by the words of my mouth,
and my judgment goes forth as the light.
6 For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

"Do you understand that even the worship that we did this morning; could have been something that God despised and hated. You might be thinking, "How could God hate us doing something that he commanded? That makes no sense to me." Do you realize....let me take it a little step further, do you realize that God could be disgusted with your prayer life and you praying, God could disgusted with you memorizing and meditating on his word, he could be disgusted with your involvement even here at this church. Do you realize that? This totally floored me. Because God could be, I'm saying could, not that he is. He could be disgusted with those things that you do because they are not driven by your love for him. You see, us praying, us assembling together in this building, us reading God's word, all of those are vehicles to express a love for God."
Matt Moore
----------------------------------------------------------------------
That's scary guys...or it scares me.
Everything I do needs to be driven by love. Everything.
I can't fake this...
I've got to get this right guys...
This isn't a comfortable thing to think about.
But it's to important for me not to think about...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

!!!!You know when you're just happy =)

Good morning world! lol

So kids, I know exactly what I want (that's realistic =P) for Christmas. =D Yes, I know it's really early but when I saw it a little over a week ago I knew. I just knew. It's all I'm going to ask for. No...wait never mind it's one of two things. But yeah anyways I was/am realllllly happy about it. I hate Atlanta but; I think...no, I know I can deal with if for this. =D
It's this...=D

I'm terribly glad I'm a senior this year. =) And heads up if you wanna come too let me know; because yeah that'd be awesome. So keep April 11-12 clear on your schedules. =P
Francis Chan
David Crowder
=)
Hmmmm, yeah if you don't want to go, then you really need to explain why because I don't see how anyone could not want to go. =P

In other news Remedy is amazinggggggggggg. =D =D I love it. love.

Wow, my life is sooo good.

I'm so just glad to be alive at this moment in time. I'd be fine to go to Heaven too though. =) But God has a plan for my life. If that's to die right now, fine. (that'd actually be pretty cool) But if there are still things He has left for me to do, then that's great too. =) I want to be here as long as He wants me to be, as long as it takes to accomplish all that He wants to accomplish throught me...Even if he keeps me here for another 80 years, s. If I can just portray His love in some small way...it'll be worth it. And hey, I'll be in Heaven for the rest of my immortal life, I can deal with this for a short while. =)

God loves me. =) Me guys. me. That's pretty incredible.

"And this makes all the difference
This changes everything."

"You're everything we could ever want
You're everything we could ever need
You're the reason we're coming here
You're the reason we're going to sing

We'll shout it loud from the rooftop!
We won't be quiet!
We're falling for Your hard
And we can't stop,
We won't deny it!"

Doesn't that just make you happy. I can't stop smiling. =D Haha, I'm such a dork.

He loves me, I love Him.

It changes everything.


----------------
Now playing: David Crowder Band - ...Neverending...

Monday, September 24, 2007

=)

Song

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.
--------------------------------------------
Random

So last night we were going to Care Group and on the way out, I snatched up this small book about Amy Carmichael. I had been wanting to read it for a while but a friend was doing a report on her and I had lent her the book. So yesterday at church when she returned it, it made me happy. =) Anyways 85 was backed up so I had plenty of time to read while we drove. lol =P And I just finished it this morning. Amazing.

Now I have developed this obnoxious habit of dog earing pages that have something that I really liked. This book got pretty dog eared. I want to meet this incredible lady when I get to Heaven. Her faith and prayer life were absolutely mind bending. Her overall trust, faith, compassion, and overall arching love for people and God has become an example to me...

Her faith...hmmm

From the book;

It reinforced her faith that God knew her needs before she asked and wanted to supply them by faith. Not in any other way.
^^^
Wow, I read that and I was like "..." So often I can try scheming things and setting stuff up; so I get what I "need". But no, God wants me to have faith that, He wants to and will fill my every need. Every single one.

We are appointed unto afflictions.
1 Thessalonians 3:3
^^^
Nothing surprises my God. =)

Our Heavenly Father never takes any earthly thing from His children, except He means to give them something better instead.
George Mueller
^^^
That's something that's hard to wrap my mind around sometimes. Heaven will be so much better though. =) I love things here on earth, but in comparison with how much I will love things in Heaven I'll hate them...0_0 isn't that inconceivable??

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Completely non-understandable.

I hate depressing song lyrics that have no point and completely, completely untrue. =P

It's very sad...Bright side! Only 11 days which is less than 2 weeks. =) =P And I look at it this way; better that people want to see me and can't vs. see me way to much and hate me.
So sorry to disappoint those who are enjoying a break from my annoying self. =P It could be a downside depending on your perspective...
And I said it before and I'll say it again, it's really ok if you forget about me and that I exist. =) I promise I won't be mad.

Ohhh

Heads up guys if you see a show called "Simply Ming" It's not about me. *nod* I know at times I must resemble a guy or something but I promise you it's not me. =P I'm sure alot of you would have been thrown for the loop if I hadn't given you a heads up. lol

Oh the power of incoherency. =P jk.... sorta

...

Ephesians 4:1-6 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

The message today was amazing. I loved it.
Very applicable, I really need to work on everything he was talking about. I'm proud, harsh, impatient, and unloving...and I've been called to be humble, gentle, patience, and loving. =\ That's a major problem. I'm a self-serving person in all of my relationships. Probably most though in my relationship with my God. But also with all of my friends and family...hmmm oh dear, I need to work on this.

Far to often I stray from the calling. And even when I don't "stray" I try to walk all on my own, using my own strength.

Next train of thought!

Sorta switching gears for a second; this morning on the way to church my mind was kinda wandering. And my thoughts drifted and floated around until I thought once again of how so often it's in our weaknesses that God uses us the most. And how His glory is shown through our brokenness.

Then why is it we try soo hard to be strong. Why is it we try so hard to avoid things that will break us. Why do we get so upset when we are broken? Why is remaining whole such a top priority.

Hmmm break me. mold me. use me.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Sarah! =)

Sarah Edwards, my friends got a blogger. Am I happy? Yes. =D
http://www.sayacate.blogspot.com/
She's an amazing writer, loves God, is completely real, and I love her much .
I still haven't gotten that birthday card in the mail though...hmmm
Anyways, go read it, love it, and post many comments. =) While I go work on that card. =P

Friday, September 21, 2007


"My search for happiness has led me to the secret I now share with you. Life is about heaven. It is about ecstasy and great pleasure, for God in both of these. They can't truly be found here, on earth. Knowing this, Jesus sent His Comforter to ease the bath between this life and the next. Among the greatest gifts offered by the Holy Spirit is hope, because without hope for the time when ecstasy and pleasure can be found completely in God, there can be no happiness.
Ironically, once our eyes are opened to the riches of our inheritance, the blessings of this life become far richer. The colors brighter, the odors more pungent, the fabrics more textured, the fruits sweeter, the music more wondrous. It is by fixing our eyes on the light of eternity that we see clearly the pleasures of this life."
Ted Dekker
-----------------------------------------------
I sit up and take notice of the lovely things in life when I fix my eyes on heaven. =) It's pretty great.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

"We are always looking at what's in God's hands. What can you get from God, what blessing can you get from God. Check this out, we are looking at what God has in his hands; and we're waiting and we're waiting and we're waiting and he's not giving and he's not giving. Don't seek what's in God's hands. Seek His heart, seek His face and he will delight to give you all that is in his hands."
"Bring your requests to God, ask him to change your circumstances. And if he doesn't ask him to use them."
-Nick Vujicic

=) pretty much sums up my head, kinda alll over the place and has about 10 different trains of thought =P


Love and Joy.

I want to be crazily, obsessively, passionately - in love with my Savior. =) And I think I am slowly getting there. I have a long way to go but I am crazy about Him. =)

How could I forget how good He is.? How could I worry? How could I be discontented? How could I not be joyful? Ahhh I annoy myself. And it's no one's fault but my own. lol

Does my joy depends on circumstances, people, or things?
If I can't have full complete joy and be perfectly content at where I am right now at this very moment; What makes me think that if my circumstances were to change that I would have complete joy?

I wouldn't. My roots of joy need to run much deeper than simply the topsoil of my circumstances and life. My joy, needs to be ever so deeply and solely rooted in the character and LOVE of my God. Then and only then will I have the peace and joy of God. When I am rooted in him then - when the trials and the droughts come I can still be drinking the water of His love; and overflowing with a sincere joy. How did I forget this?

See I think I had planted myself down in a shallow garden and in love He transplanted me to somewhere were I won't be hampered by the superficial and can dig way down deep, so I can grow oh so tall =). Yes, it hurt/hurts, I was quite comfortable where I was at. But it's sooo good for me. Isn't He amazing? =)

When life is going exactly the way I want it to and I have joy, peace, hope, and strength - that's normal. It's when thing's aren't going the way I'd like them to and I still have joy, peace, hope, and strength - then it becomes supernatural. I have been called to live a supernatural life.

Jesus is my psychological crutch. And I'm terribly terribly proud of it. =D

How dare I worry and fret about things. Ugh I have nerve.

Do I have desires and dreams, yes. But my desires and dreams are inconsequential =P. God's will may or may not line up with mine in the scheme of things. If it does; Great! If it's doesn't; Great! =) Because ultimately I want, I seriously want God's will done in my life. No, matter what.

I don't know what my future holds; what path in life I will walk. He does not promise me a trial free and easy life or everything I want. But I know this because he has promised; and that is that HE will be there by my side, the entire way holding my hand. He will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, let me go. =) Yeah my Dad is pretty much amazing. =)

And I worry?

Here I am God, use me however you see fit.

Anyways these are my silly musings kids. Just the thoughts that have and are running through my head. =P

And I'm off to class now. Love you all. =)

Isaiah 41:13
For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”
=) =D

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Broken Vases, Perfect Potter
Listen cause it's amazingggg =D
This guys from Brazil and has an awesome accent.
Oh and the message is good too. =P
Please listen? And tell me what you think. =)
-----------------------------------------
No, people apologizing saying they're sorry, don't get on my nerves. If they did I would be the biggest hypocrite ever. =P I just feel bad that they feel bad...
Happier note...
-----------------------------------------
Yesss, God loves me. And he uses absolutely broken people.
So God, break me, I'm serious, and I'm not being pretentious. =)
Ohh I feel better now. Haha you know what I appreciate feeling like this more though since I didn't feel so great yesterday.
Hmmm God can use my silliest nuances. =)
I'm letting go alll over again. And He doesn't have to pry stuff out of my fingers; this time I'm giving them to Him. *Drop* there they go. =) I'm trusting, I'm going back to being a child that has complete faith that her Father knows what's best and loves here more than all the stars combined, and I'm going to go biking now cause it's coldish out, oh I dearly love coldishness.

Oh dear I love Him =)

(Yeah I know this makes no sense and all runs together; but I'm happy and don't have time to make sense =P God loves me. =D)
"It is probably impossible to love any human being simply 'too much.' We may love him too much in proportion to our love for God; but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the greatness of our love for the man, that constitutes the inordinacy."
-C.S. Lewis

Broken? Shattered? What?! No. Wait....yes.

2 Corinthians 4-7
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.






Early this morning I started to listen to this thing called Broken Vases, Perfect Potter. And one of the points made; was that we are but worthless jars of clay. Jars of clay back then were probably equivalent to your take out containers today; absolutely worthless apart from what might be contained inside. Which is exactly what I am. And that sometimes the best way to see what's inside the container is when it's broken.

This morning, that hit me hard. To be perfectly honest; I didn't like that at all, in the least. My sinful self doesn't like being broken; even though it gives me an opportunity I wouldn't have otherwise to show what God has given me and grow in ways I would have not been able to otherwise. I know, I know there is comfort in that fact, that God can even use something broken to display his glory. And there are many times I have felt very thankful for that. But at that moment in time, I was just so sick of being broken. Just sick of always something happening, something coming up, and never failing - right when I've begun to feel whole again; something happens that just smashes me apart again. In my narrow self-centered perspective - I didn't care if it was better for me in the end to be broken. I was much more concerned about the here and now. To be perfectly truthful I would probably be inclined to stay safe and whole - therefore hiding my invaluable treasure, than be broken so as to reveal it to the world. Awful, I know. But I'm not going to pretend, this is how I did feel in that moment; but God has been faithful again.

It's so tempting for me to ask, "Why?" when certain things come up that just happen to break me along the way. I have to step back and be like "Whoa, Ming. whoa. Who are you. No, seriously now, who do you think you are that you shouldn't be broken so as to show God's glory. As a jar in and of yourself are you worth anything? ....yeah, no."

It was hard for me to pull myself, my thoughts, my mindset back, and remind myself that it's soo worth it. Who am I kidding; it was hard to just even pray that God give me the grace to have that mindset, because I know it's horrid but sometimes I just feel like wallowing in the pits of my emotions and fickle feelings. =P

No, stuff isn't going the way I want it to right at this moment in time. But it's teaching me patience, forbearance, joy, peace, not to be jealous, ect; all I would not have learned apart from it all. And I have to remember that no matter who you are or what you've done that you'll have some sort of trial in your life - at some point. (and mine really are minuscule in comparison with many) I have to purpose my head to think about how thankful I have been given so much grace in each and every circumstance and how very, very faithful God has been through everything.

Needless to say with that mindset and thought process I felt much better.

"The Potter reveals His grace; through broken jars."

Here I am God. Use me for your glory. Even if it means being shattered. 'Cause you are more than enough and worth so much more than what I could ever give.

(Sorry if I was incoherent at all, I seriously wasn't trying to have power over any of you. =P It's just how I am sometimes.)

Survey says! =P

1. Were you smiling when you woke up this morning? I wasn't at first...then I did. 'Cause God loves me. =)

2. When was the last time you met someone new? Yesterday.


3. What is irritating you right now? ....that would be telling now wouldn't it. =P

4. When did you last eat pizza? Ummm I don't remember....

5. Are you listening to something? Yes

6. What did you do last weekend? Hung out with the amazingness of my siblings while my parents were out of town. =)

7. What's the furthest distance you've gone in the past 3 days? School?

8. What does the sixth message in your inbox say? I'm not sure.

9. Have you ever kissed anyone named Mike? Can't say that I have.

10. Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room? My pillow. =P jk No, probably my books or something. =P

11. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos? Enjoy? uhhh I don't know? I don't think so?

12. Who is in the room with you? No one....

13. What are you wearing on your feet? Nothing

14. What is your favorite pair of shoes? My 4 inch heels, no, just kidding um just a pair of flip-flops

15. Who was the last person you told you loved them? My sister. =)

16. Do you get along with your parents? With how awesome they are? How could I not. =)

17. What were you doing before this? Thinking.

18. What's the closest item near you that is blue? Some CD case thing

19. What instant messaging service do you use? Skype?

20. What is your favorite website? I don't know.

21. What's the most abnormal thing you've done in the past 4 days? Lol, um I don't know. I'm either a really normal person, or just so abnormal I don't realize it. =P

22. What do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants? Jeans

23. What is the last movie you watched? Oh wow, I don't know.

24. What do you currently hear right now? This guy talking.

25. When did you last buy a pair of pants? I don't happen to recall that either.

26. When did you last take a picture with someone? idk?

27. Where's your favorite place to be? It's what where you are but who you are with. =P At least that's always been my mentality. lol

28. Where did you sleep last? In my room

29. Where do you shop the most? Um wherever, I'm not picky. =)

30. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? I don't remember...

31. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets? I don't know?

32. Where was your default picture taken? I don't have one on here.

33. Who are you talking to on aim? No one.

34. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Jun-Yue or Jun-Fung

35. Are you happy with where you are? Lol. Um. Urgh. Let me get back to you. =P I'm trying though. =)

36. Do you speak another language besides English? Well, supposedly since I'm 1/2 Chinese (comes as a shocker to those of you who think I'm barely Chinese but yeah) I'm suppose to be able to speak it. But no I can't fluently speak another language

37. Do you like to dress up? From time to time.

38. Who are your best friends? Lauren and Stephen

39. Plans for today? School and homework

40. Do you burn easily in the sun? No

41. Who were the last people you went out to dinner with? Um idk

42. Describe your dream car. I don't are about cars really, sorry. =P

43. Describe the background on your cell phone. An old picture of my sister and I...I need to change it.

44. Can you roll your tongue? Quite sadly no, it is not a gift that God chose to bless me with.

45. Are you ready for school? Um hmm sure I guess.

46. Where do you live? On earth in a house.

47. Describe what you're wearing. Blue gym shorts and an off white t-shirt with some sort of brown writing all over it.

48. What are you excited about? Heaven? lol I don't know

49. Do you use the internet or television more? Internet

50. Are you quick to start a fight? lol no, that's not me.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Hebrews 11
11:1
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

The bliss we seek awaits in the next life. Our faith is being sure of this hope. The pleasures God has given us to serve as a reminder of far greater pleasures to come.
-Ted Dekker

=) Nothing in this world can bring me satisfaction apart from God. Nothing.
Everything I do needs to be motivated by a deep unquenchable love for Him.
Mmmm yeah if only I could grasp that more.
So today was long; I couldn't fall asleep last night and my first class this morning really was lacking- I just had a hard time caring about it. Not that it was taught any differently or that it wasn't as interesting as other days; I think it was just me...wait no I know it was just me. =P Then I had to memorize 58 word prefix's before 1:00 when my lab was. That was fun...

Then I took the silly prefix quiz, I think I did fine but I guess we'll see. Then we talked about Integumentary system for...a long time. Then we looked at finger prints...lol

Then I went and picked up that sister of mine and Justin from Driver's Ed.

And I know it's silly but I really want to go to Frisbee, but have come to the conclusion that even though when stuff doesn't go my way and it's way harder to be happy and content and joyful in all things; it is still required of me. My God is good. =) He's knows what I need and what I can take and has my future perfectly planned. Hmmm yes.

Sometimes I wish that what I wanted (like selfishly wanting stuff) and what I needed were the same thing though. lol I know I know it's silly but I do. =P

Now I will list the things that make me happy becauseeee I need too. =)

Still this weather makes me happy. =) It could be a little cooler but other than that it's all good. =)
  1. I got out of lab early today.
  2. Drove with the windows down.
  3. Listened to part 5 <>
  4. And I'm re-reading The Slumber of Christianity.
  1. Because it's an amazing book.
  2. Because I really need too at this time. =P
My rant; (you needn't read it)
I like the question "Why" way to much. I don't trust and have faith like I should. I don't love like I should. I complain about the stupidest things. And I'm much, much to impatient. Yes, I know I know I can't expect to be perfect and God has all the grace I'll ever need. I know. But sometimes it's just obnoxious when your head won't be quiet. =P And sometimes I just need to write it all out. =P

Ted Dekker

"My search for happiness has led me to the secret I now share with you. Life is about heaven. It is about ecstasy and great pleasure, for God in both of these. They can't truly be found here, on earth. Knowing this, Jesus sent his Comforter to ease the bath between this life and the next. Among the greatest gifts offered by the Holy Spirit is hope, because without hope for the time when ecstasy and pleasure can be found completely in God, there can be no happiness.
Ironically, once our eyes are opened to the riches of our inheritance, the blessings of this life become far richer. The colors brighter, the odors more pungent, the fabrics more textured, the fruits sweeter, the music more wondrous. It is by fixing our eyes on the light of eternity that we see clearly the pleasures of this life."

Faith, Ted Dekker, and other quotes

Hebrews 11
11:1
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Hope and hopelessness impact our sense of well-being, even when we encounter them in tiny portions. Encouragement and discouragement, a sense of success or failure, our drive to get out of bed in the morning--all are guided by hope or hopelessness.
Hope is the primary force that drives human beings from hour to hour. Hope for a simple pleasure, a hug, a kiss, a juicy rib eye cooked to perfection. A new red Corvette, a beautiful home, a long vacation in Europe. The renewed health of an ill child or aging mother. These are among the many hopes that motivate our daily lives. Everything we do is driven by hope or hopelessness in one form or another.

The Gospels and the Epistles say next to nothing about emotional stability or midlife crises or a bad day at work.
But they are practically overflowing with this one word: hope.

The blessings and gifts of this life aren't the good news of the gospel. Our hope for life everlasting, swamped by a never-ending bliss is the good news.

My search for happiness has led me to the secret I now share with you. Life is about heaven. It is about ecstasy and great pleasure, for God in both of these. They can't truly be found here, on earth. Knowing this, Jesus sent his Comforter to ease the bath between this life and the next. Among the greatest gifts offered by the Holy Spirit is hope, because without hope for the time when ecstasy and pleasure can be found completely in God, there can be no happiness.
Ironically, once our eyes are opened to the riches of our inheritance, the blessings of this life become far richer. The colors brighter, the odors more pungent, the fabrics more textured, the fruits sweeter, the music more wondrous. It is by fixing our eyes on the light of eternity that we see clearly the pleasures of this life.

Hope is our widow into heaven, and we must throw back the curtains to awaken out hearts to that most spectacular view.

The bliss we seek awaits in the next life. Our faith is being sure of this hope. The pleasures God has given us to serve as a reminder of far greater pleasures to come.

In living we die; in dying we live. Speak this from a pulpit and the congregation will absently stare up at you. But when pressed, everyone seems to agree. Yes, of course, by living we eventually die, and when we die we eventually will get around to living some kind of glorious life.
Do you want to die or do you want to live?
I want to live! you say.
And how do you live--really, really live?
A long pause.
Isn't it true that only after we die will we truly live, with Christ?
What are you saying, that I should think of suicide so that I can really, really live instead of just plain old living?
No. But perspective is critical if we are to awaken from our current slumber.

Again I will ask, are you desperate for heaven? No? may I suggest it's because you have no living hope for the bliss of heaven? And you have no living hope because you imagine heaven to be far less interesting that the early vacation you have your eyes or, or the man you would like to marry. your imagination in regard to the vacation or the man is fully fleshed out. You have already picked out the destination for the vacation and the tuxedo for the man.
But your imaginations of heaven might be flat. Lifeless. Boring.

"We should obsess after Christ and the power of his resurrection. We should preoccupy our minds with our inheritance. Otherwise our pain will rage unchecked and will bear a fruit of bitterness and hopelessness."
Ted Dekker
=) I love Ted Dekker


"My weaknesses + God's power equals my power. Right? No, wrong. My weaknesses + God's power = God's power = my weaknesses. Somehow friends we grow in our weaknesses as we approach God."
"The extreme contrast between the message of the Gospel and the messenger of the Gospel; the message is precious, it has alot of value; the messenger is broken...a jar of clay."

Monday, September 17, 2007

Uselessness of Delight; You should read it.

I read this the other day and I was very happy. =) Please read it? And if you do tell me what you think. =) My favorite part is toward the end though.

In other news; this weather just makes me rather completely happy. =) 70's is sublime.
And Ying is taking drivers ed. =) You needn't worry though she's a good driver; way better than I was when I took it...lol =P

-----------------------
Uselessness of Delight

It doesn’t get anything done, but can cover a lot of shortcomings | Andrée Seu

My mother has always been surprised that I have good childhood memories of my father. He was almost never home, whereas she was home all the time. The exception was Sunday mornings, when after Mass he drove us to Lamoureaux Field for batting and fielding practice. No one had to tell him to: We played baseball on Sunday because it was a blast—for him. And it was always capped off with a visit to Beaudette's Apothecary for coffee "cabinets" (Rhode Island for milkshake) and nabs (Nabisco peanut butter crackers) on the high swivel stools at the bar. I don't remember that kind of detail in most of the rest of my life.

It raises the question of what it is to be a parent in loco parentis for our own heavenly Father. We usually think of proper Bible study as working in the direction from the Bible to life (Normative to Situational), but in the investigation at hand, moving from life to Bible proves as instructive. I consider those Sunday mornings, I weigh my mother's mathematical premises and conclusion, I note a counterintuitive outcome, and I ask the Scriptures to make sense of it. That is, did my father, for all his mistakes (and James 3:2 says we all make them), stumble on biblical gold unawares? And if so, O Lord, show me now that I may at least finish well.

The teaching was at once too subtle and too obvious, the weave of my net at once too tight and too loose to catch the thing. Feed, shelter, protect, train were the mandates I took from Holy Writ, and as a mother did better in some areas than others. These were more or less empirical and quantifiable, duties that could be discharged without the heart engaged, like a well-trained monkey.

What was too huge to be seen was the eternal love Triangle, three Persons savoring each other's company long before "the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy " (Job 38:7), a mutual delight that formed the matrix of the universe. Delight was before anything.

What was too small to be seen was the dropped hints that were never commands but not the less incumbent: "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness " (Zephaniah 3:17). "He brought me out into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me" (Psalm 18:19); "For the Lord takes pleasure in His people " (Psalm 149:4). "You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight is in Her" (Isaiah 62:3-4).

Delight is the most useless of things. It doesn't get the house clean or the bills paid. Useless—like flowers. Like rainbows. Like Beethoven's Ninth.

Delight covers a multitude of parenting shortcomings. You may be too strict or too lenient and still come out all right, if you delight in your children. They will know it, for delight cannot be hidden. It finds excuse to ooze all over the place. It seeks a getaway vacation with the beloved when it's not convenient. It asks different questions than duty. Duty says, "I should." Delight says, "I want to." Duty is efficient. Delight tends to anything but.

What is less efficient than the story of mankind? If it were about efficiency, God would have wiped the plate clean and commenced with more promising subjects. The Bible in entirety is a love story, a tale of unquenchable delightHis for us, finally ours for Him. No sound rule of parenting is modeled in the sprint of an old man down the road to meet his prodigal. Only delight. No royal protocol is modeled in the dance of a half-naked king before his subjects and the Lord with all his might. Only delight. What is more useless than hymns?

"Let the mind for an instant consider the history of the Redeemer's love, and a thousand enchanting acts of affection will suggest themselves. . . . Our souls may well faint for joy . . . for our loving benefactor Jesus Christ our Lord, whose love is wonderful, passing the love of women" (C.H. Spurgeon).

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Praise.


So I will drive these roads in thunder and in rain
And I will sing your song at the top of my lungs
And I will praise you, Lord, in glory and in pain =) And I will follow you till this race is won
And I will drive these roads till this motor won't run
And I will sing your song from sea to shining sea
And I will praise you Lord, till your kingdom comes
And I will follow where you lead

Now playing: Andrew Peterson - No More Faith
---------------------------------------------------------------
I'm a follower. Of the God of the Universe.
That's pretty sweet.
I am loved by that same God...
'Cause I was loved-therefore I love.
In glory and in pain I will love...hmmmm. yes. =)

Friday, September 14, 2007

Last couple days and random thoughts.

Last night my night was made by some things.
Today my day was made because; Lauren, still will be friends with me regardless of the fact we can't really hang-out for like 3 weeks. =)
And it's ok if you guys forget me, I seriously won't hold a grudge. =) Promise.

Haha, so my mom calls and tells me that while backing up in the Aldi's parking lot my dad backed into another car that was backing up as well. Oh dear, there's always something isn't there?
And in other news my parents are leaving on a very last minute trip to Savannah, GA because of my dad's mom or something so I'm watching Ying all weekend - oh yeah and the boys too. =P

Random things
I adore rain, adore.
When I went out with my mom today; it started pouring - I got soaked and had a grand time. =) No kid.
Unfortunately by the time we got home it had stopped though...=(

hmmmm =)
The more we enjoy of God, the more we are ravished with delight.
—Thomas Watson

Oh, oh, and listening to Ron and Pierce playing some Lord of the Rings game is killing me. Haha it's quite humorous. lol

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wow that was random
tonight.
Running into Garret randomly and hanging out while our parents shop for 2 hours works. lol
We're in Marshalls and I turn around and Garret is standing there talking with Justin. I did a double take. Then we walked over to Target cause our parents were headed there. Haha it was great.
Pirates of the Caribbean. =P

Welll

I didn't bomb it. I still don't like B's though...
And Justin, you aren't allowed to laugh at me.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

...

It's 9/11...I can't believe it's been 6 years already...

Being sick and pondering


So I've had a cold for the past couple of days; can't say it's been a blast...if I sounded strange or at all like a duck when you talked to me recently - that would be the reason. It's not a horrible cold though so that's good.

So today in POL class somehow the question came up - would you move your family in a neighborhood that had a polygamist, homosexuals, ect. And the girl who was answering stated that "Well I think maybe I would because it's not my business what they do or believe." Or something like that. Mr. Sember jumped on that and posed the question "Well since you don't seem to care - would you move into a neighborhood that consisted entirely of fundamentalist Christians?"
*Silence* People were like stunned. lol You would have thought that you wanted them to move into a neighborhood with mass murders and rapists or something.

After that he kinda lost me after that because the rest of class I was lost in thought. Now I understand the whole idea of the world will hate us. But do they hate us for the right reasons? Do they hate us because we mirror Christ so well; or is it because of the fact that we aren't that different from them and self-righteous when we are...are we truly loving them.....hmmm.

It made me think Would someone want to move next to me? Would I love them? Serve them in everyway? Show them a glimpse of Christ (however small)?

Hmm yeah between that and the whole Shiavo case being brought to the forefront of my mind again (something else discussed in class)..my head was full. It saddened me...people are so obsessed with themselves; it's all about their choice. It doesn't matter about the implication of the choice or who their choices affect...=( And that's how I am too...*sigh*

Anyways it made me all the more to look forward to in heaven. =D

This morning I woke up all together to happy about the whole heaven thing that's going to happen and I sent Lauren an obnoxiously long email detailing what was running through my head. lol (Sorry about that Lauren lol)

Alright so I'm going to go and read until my sinuses give me a headache. =P

Monday, September 10, 2007

Lets see how this goes...pray for me? Let's hope I don't bomb this test...
Edit:
Ok so that's done. Whatever happens God's good. =)

Anddd I can tell when people are joking. =) Well...sometimes I can.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

"The common theme in true biblical worship is this; it's that true biblical worship, true biblical worship centers around God and around God alone. Only God, only Him. And I think the easiest thing that we do as followers of Christ especially if you've been in the church for a while; cause I think most people if I asked you, "Ok, how would you define worship?" Like how would the average person define worship. I think most people would say, "Well, Romans 12, offer your bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God." Yeah I believe that; but I think we've done an amazing job in separating our theological understanding of worship and our practical application of what worship is. I think we have done an amazing job in the church today of having a big old break there."
"Here's my definition of worship - Choosing to authentically respond to the person and character of God. Worship must be authentic. And what I mean by authentic is real or genuine and the bottom line with this idea is that God knows the heart."
-Jim Elliston
---------------------
Mmmm yeah I listened to that last night and finished it up on the way to church today...I could have quoted the whole thing - so be happy that I contained myself. =P
"Hi! How are you?" "Good, how are you?" "Good. Ok bye."
Haha, wow that was funny. The best is when everyone else is like 0_o
CM was pretty amazing today. We have an...energetic class this year? Not to mention a loud one. Funny thing is that it's the girls that are loud this year. And play dough scissors have to go. no kid. =P
So Justin came over and hung out while mom talked with Mrs. Glacken. I studied and studied...and studied. While Ying and Justin amused themselves playing some StarWars Game.
And now...I'm going to return to studying. I'll elaborate on the quote later...maybe.
----------------
Now playing: Worship: From a Worship Leader's Perspective
Jim Elliston

Saturday, September 8, 2007

This article made me very mad and also incredibly sad.
But for the grace of God there go I...

Side note: I found out that I could access the article "No Prowling Wolves" online and therefore could have just copy and pasted...but nooo, I had to type it all out before I figured that out. lol

Friday, September 7, 2007

?


Why is it so easy for me to get distracted by things of this world?
Such stupid silly things....
Hmmmm.
Yeah it annoys me. =/
Ugh.
I'm so glad my God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow.
I'm so glad He's not a fickle...like I can so often be.

my kingdom...or not.

I'm watching my kingdom tumbling down
You're flooding my refuge underground
My kingdom for angels, mighty surround
To take me away from here

I'm watching my kingdom crumble and fall
You're building Your kingdom over all
I'm cursing my wisdom while the angels I call
To take me away, to take me away from here

An amazing article, being old...

Yesterday I did something that is a regular occurrence with me; I picked up something to read. It happened to be the new World Magazine that had just delivered with the rest of the mail to the office just a little earlier.

Now I have this weird habit; whenever I pick up a magazine to read and nothing catches my eye right away on the front - I will just page through it quickly, while making mental notes of articles that interest me then go back later and read them, thennnn after I read those - I go back and read the whole thing throughly. Why don't I just read the whole blasted thing right away? *shrug* Don't ask me. I don't understand myself either.

Anyways, as I randomly paged through it: I took note of some articles about the election next year, skipped over the movie reviews, paged over the music reviews, read a couple of the "quick takes" *random it takes almost 2 cents to make a penny*, glanced at the comics, and then when I reached the 2nd to last article - I found something.

It was pretty much a God thing. After I read that article I was so encouraged. =) I pretty much thanked God directly after reading it for sending it my way. =) Then I read it again. lol

So here's the arti...Oh no wait, one last thing...

When I saw in the election article the words: Labor day 2007 and Election 2008, it freaked me out. I hadn't thought about the fact that next year, you got that guys NEXT year I'll be able to vote...like an adult or something 0_o...I still haven't fully gotten the idea in my head. They seem like such foreign thoughts...voting, 18, adultish, what?!?!...I just kinda sat there stunned for a couple seconds wondering how on earth did I go from a nerdy 7 year old to being a nerdy 17 year old. 10 years seems so long ago and yet...not long ago. ....Then once I'm 18 it's only 2 years till I'm 20...Oh dear...that's just scary. I just pray that at some point here I'll start acting my age and God gives me the grace to mature up. =P lol
I went from 2 to 17...lol I don't know how that happened. =P


Ok, now here is the article... *the stuff in bold is what I absolutely loved; the italic words are suppose to be that way*
-----------------------------------------------------------
No prowling wolves
Why do we envision a future in which Christ is indifferent?
By Tony Woodlief
Do not worry about tomorrow. This is not the promise of a trouble-free life. It is work-flow management advice (Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble, i.e., you've got plenty to worry over now, buddy). But it is also a command, which implies that worrying is a choice.
This leaves me puzzled and hopeful. I am puzzled because I am fairly sure that I hate worrying. It gives me stomach cramps, and yet it is like breathing to me. I am hopeful as well, because in Christ's command there is the implication that I can become someone who does not worry but is peace-filled, even within sight of the Valley of the Shadow.
As I write this, my wife and I are praying that our baby, Isaiah, does not have a brain tumor. There is something wrong with him, and thought the odds are that he will be fine, we find ourselves defying this enjoyment not to worry, and praying over and over: Please, Lord, not another one. This is what happens after you have buried a child, you see a prowling wolves in every shadow. you hear a mortal illness behind every cough. You worry about tomorrow because today's troubles are nothing compared to what might happen next.
So how did Christ manage it, I wonder, knowing what they would do to him in the end? How was His mind not consumed with the dreadful tomorrow, seeing it as He must have, hearing it's growl from the shadows of a foreordained future? He wept and prayed as the hour approached, yes, but that was practically, if not literally, the day it happened. How did He shunt aside worry all those years?
It must take discipline, this not worrying. I am wary of pull-yourself-up-by-your-spiritual-bootstraps theologies. There must be something else at work here than a steely nerve, because surely the Word who was from the beginning peered into me when He uttered this command. He saw my gut now churning with thick, cold fear, and my heart moaning: I can't do this again. The Lord must have been counting on more than courage when He chose the likes of me.
So what is the secret to not worrying? Perhaps someone has written a book about an obscure Bible verse that promises to protect me from suffering if I chant it like a mantra. Or maybe the secret resides in that scrap of Romans that the non-suffering sometimes throw out to the grieving: All things work together for good to those who love God, as if God's plan is a tidy sitcom, resolving conflicts to our liking and within our field of vision.
The truth is that we suffer, and sometimes we suffer without seeing, on this earth at least, any good come of it. It's hard not to worry, knowing that the world is set against us. It's hard to trust, sometimes, a God who would send His own Son to death. C.S. Lewis was right; Aslan is not a fuzzy pet, but wild, and sometimes dangerous.
And yet Christ, having lived in our frail flesh, knows what we can stand. Perhaps this is at least part of the answer, that the One who carried His cross up Golgotha out of love, the Savior who promises to blot out every tear, the man who wept for His dead friend Lazarus--this is the Christ who whispered, in plain view of His approaching murder: Do not worry, beloved.
Contrary to many popular preachers, Christ didn't promise deliverance on this earth from trouble. As Oswald Chambers noted, Christ promised deliverance in trouble. Perhaps He said not to worry because it constructs a future where He is absent. We imagine the suffering ahead, and not His comfort in the midst of it. We forget to commune with him here, so deluded as we are by an imaginary there in which He is indifferent.
Still worse, worry affords no room for grace. Sometimes the worst does not come to pass. Sometimes as happed between the first and last sentences of this essay, the doctor says our child is fine. All that worry wasted. All this grace ignored. I have over come the world, says the Messiah. Do not worry about tomorrow.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

My parents and I were talking last night just about random stuff and my dad mentioned about how he was planning on driving down to L.A. on like one of the days while he is in California to see his uncle. He mentioned how it was only about 100 miles away from San Diego, where he is staying. I was like "Yeah, it's about 2 hours..." They both were like "...ok...". lol It was pretty funny or maybe you have to be me to find it funny. lol

I then informed them that if ever we are to drive out to CA for vacation or something that we were going to spend 2 Sundays out there. 'Cause...nevermind if you know me well enough you know the 2 places I want to visit. lol

Lauren, you want to come too? =P Anyone else?

Yeah but switching gears for a second;

I seriously can't tell or stress to you guys enough about how amazing my parents are. I don't know what I did to deserve them...(well that's just dumb cause I know I didn't ever do anything to deserve them but you guys know what I mean.) But I seriously don't deserve them at all. I've always been able to talk to my mom for hours about uhhh everything? Well maybe not always but since I was like 11 or 12 and started actually caring about talking. lol I didn't use to be able to talk to my Dad about as much, but over the 2 or 3 years our relationship has gotten alot better. I can talk with him just about as easily as I can talk to my mom now...with the exception of like girlishness stuff. =P

No matter what I can always trust them to be understanding and listen, yet always tell me what I need to hear to - even if I don't want to hear it. They are abnormally patient with me and all the stupid silly stuff I do and/or say.

They both have good senses of humor, now grant it I'm not saying I always appreciate it, but it's there nonetheless. =P

Now ofcourse I'm most thankful to my parents for telling/showing/living the Gospel to me from the day I was born. And always encouraging me to live for God and God alone. But if I were to think of one thing that I really appreciate about each of my parents it would probably be;
For Dad just his trust in God in the midst of any and everything, whether times are going "good" or "bad" he's belief that God does everything for a reason never wavers.
As for my Mom, you guys wouldn't believe how patient she is if my mom ever got mad you know you had to have done something awful. lol

Another thing my mom did was give me a love for reading...ok maybe she didn't give it to me but she definitely fed the fire. lol

Every night that I can remember when I was little she would read to Ying and I. (Ying fell asleep alot =P) I'll always remember one time when I was like 6ish we were reading the "Little House" books and we had just finished one of them, Mom looked over at me and was like "Should we start reading another one?". She had already been reading to me for a longgg time but she still asked. Ofcourse I couldn't say, "No." So she started reading the other one. And we finished it that night/morning...When she was done she noticed that it was light outside. lol Now perhaps it wasn't a "smart" thing to do since I did have school the next day but then again that's a memory that I have always treasured and still do. =) Haha what was kinda funny is that after I turned about 8 if she fell asleep while reading to us, I started to stop nudging her to waking her up so she could finish - I just picked the book up myself. =P

Due to her reading to us I can't possibly recount all the memories I have from that....I don't even know how many books we worked our way through. =)

Then if she decided that we weren't going to read anymore that night, she would sometimes just lay there and tell us stories from when she was little; my dad did this as well. I think that's a large part of why it's so easy for me to talk to them now just because I've always been able to do that.

I love my parents. =D

**Note: I almost didn't post this because I didn't want to it to just seem like...I don't know like I was just saying stuff about my parents because it's the good Christian kid thing to do. You know what I mean? But I really am not just saying this stuff but I really mean it. I love my mom and dad dearly and they are among the people that I find it easiest to talk to and that's out of like a group of 7...and probably... no, most definitely the smartest and wisest out of the 7. =P No offense to the others alot of it has to do with age. =) =P

Alllsooo heads up for the next month Ying and I will be staying home from Frisbee and other such things, my parents talked and said that it'd be just good for us to kinda stay home since we have been gone alot lately...so yeah...kinda stinks but oh well. I'll live =) And I know it will be good for me even if I don't exactly like it. =P

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Fall


I'm ready for fall...or fall weather I guess...or maybe just the idea of fall.
But then I wonder what is the idea of fall? And I have no idea. lol
But I do know that I'm ready for;
brightly colored leaves, cool clear crisp air, hoodies, and jeans.
Oh yeah...
I love hoodies.

Philippians 4:4-7

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

=) I can't add to that. =)

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Faith



“Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we do not see.”

-Martin Luther
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I was thinking about that last night. Well maybe not that point exactly but I liked the quote so it worked =P.
No, I was thinking more along the lines of how if God just always did what we wanted him to that it really wouldn't take that much faith to trust him. And it appears to me that God holds the ideas of faith and trust in very high regard.
Sometimes I wish I knew the end of the story - Well I know the end end. Like I'm going to heaven and it's going to be amazing. =) But I mean the "end" of stories here. I wish I could see ahead, it's just me being silly but nonetheless I wish it. lol If I could see ahead then I wouldn't worry about stuff that's going on because I would know the outcome. =P At least that's what I think. lol
But I guess what I am slowly coming to realize is that it wouldn't take any faith then...It only takes faith when I can't see the outcome. When I don't know exactly how God will work things out for my good and his glory. But I have faith that it will. Mhm cause he's that good. =)
Pffft what do I have to be upset about. =P
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In other news;
My political class was good....
Alex, Frank, Andrea, Ellen, ect are just wow sometimes. lol
I am done with the silly root word test. =)
And after the test though lab was soooo boring, I'm not even kidding.
I'm myself. whoooo =P
Lol, sorry I'm just really happy right now. Large part being that I'm done with the test and I don't think I bombed it. =)
God's pretty much amazing.
I love Him.
Some day you will read in the papers that D.L. Moody, of East Northfield, is dead. Don't you believe a word of it. At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now. I shall have gone up higher, that is all; out of this old clay tenement into a house that is immortal, a body that death cannot touch.
-- Dwight L. Moody
=D
Death ... is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.
- Helen Keller

I think of death as some delightful journey that I shall take when all my tasks are done.
- George Elliot

Monday, September 3, 2007

conclusions

  1. I have come to the conclusion that God wants my full attention.
  2. And he deserves it.

"Holy is the Lord" -Amazing

Wake up little Isaac
And rub your tired eyes
Go and kiss your mama
We’ll be gone a little while
Come and walk beside me
Come and hold your papa’s hand
I go to make an altar
And to offer up my lamb

I waited on the Lord
And in a waking dream He came
Riding on a wind across the sand
He spoke my name
“Here I am”, I whispered
And I waited in the dark
The answer was a sword
That came down hard upon my heart

Chorus:
Holy is the Lord
Holy is the Lord
And the Lord I will obey
Lord, help me I don’t know the way

So take me to the mountain
I will follow where You lead
There I’ll lay the body
Of the boy You gave to me
And even though You take him
Still I ever will obey
But Maker of this mountain, please
Make another way
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Andrew Peterson is a brilliant lyricist.
Even Ying, who doesn't really appreciate his voice or music style - liked this video with this song. Hmmmm yes. I love it.
I hope you like it too. =)

When I have grown up with these stories my whole life; sometimes it's hard for me to remember that people in the Bible were just normal people. People with feelings and emotions. People with struggles-normal people who were chosen by God.

It's easy for me to just read the Bible without realizing how chock full of amazing stories it is.
I mean if you really think about them.

If I am to forget about the fact that I knew about Noah's Ark from the time I was 2. Then if I can forget the little cardboard book that have a cute little boat with giraffe head' sticking out of the top of it - somehow it seems scarier now. lol

It's the same with all the other stories- Abraham and Issac, Jacob and Esau, Joseph's coat, Esther, Ruth, The Plagues, Moses and the burning bush, Moses and the Red Sea, Joshua and Jericho, Rahab, Jonah and the whale, David and Goliath, Gideon, Daniel and the lions den, Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego and the Furnace, and that doesn't even begin to name them all and then you have the prophets who led crazzzy lifes- Jeremiah, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Hosea, ect.
And that's just the Old Testament-everything in it is pointing to an even bigger story...

Then the biggest story of all finds itself wrapped up in this baby born in a dirty stable to a girl who's younger than me. 0_o The God in the Old Testament- the one with the incredible power, incredible justice, incredible love...became that boy...

Then that boy grew up and did crazy things and said crazier things. (it's what happens with God becomes a dot.) The blind saw, the lame walked, the dead people...weren't dead.? lol He fed wayyy over 5,000 people with 5 small bread loaves and 2 dried fish. He said insane things like; turn the other cheek, love people as much as yourself, that he was the only way to God, and that he was God.

People weren't happy with the boy from Galilee...
I think it's cause he ruined their picture of God...This man, this carpenter - couldn't be God...!
It just didn't fit in their box that they had constructed for God...
I don't know but when I really think about it...don't just accept it as something I have heard my whole life. It changes my perspective; somehow it seems more real.
If I imagine it more then it takes on a new dimension.

Think about it- That God with inconceivable faithfulness and unbelievable love. The God that is all powerful, wrapped in mystery, unpredictable, who does crazy things. That God pretty much loves you in an all consuming way...infact the entire story of the Bible is just a story of him chasing down individuals to show them his glory and love....

I just can't believe He chose to chase me down; to rescue me; to save me; to love me....
0_0

Hmmm yeah now I really am never going to get over it and I pray I never do.

Alright I'm done rambling. =)