Thursday, May 31, 2007


Psalm 9:10
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Matthew 7:8
For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
Luke 11:9
And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
Luke 17:33
Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.
Luke 19:10
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
Colossians 3:1
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

Seek for me is one of those Bible words that you never really heard or used in "real life" unless you were going to play that hiding game. =P
I knew the meaning, could quote bible verses about it... but I don't think I even began to get it.
Seek the things that are above...ok cool but I'm going to heaven anyway...can't I just sit tight here and wait?
NO, of courses not.
To seek something that is above, where Christ is seated means to seek the things that Christ would have us seek.
Let's define seek;
  • seek (used with object)
  • to go in search or quest of: to seek the truth.
  • to try to find or discover by searching or questioning: to seek the solution to a problem.
  • to ask for; request: to seek advice.

I like that; in search of or the word paints pictures in my head- visions of secrets, maps, dark forests, and incredible treasure. It sounds like something that if I were on one it would dominate my life, my very thoughts, pretty much consume me. Something of an imperative nature...
So maybe I should read it like "If then you have been raised with Christ, go on a quest to find the things that are above, where Christ is..ect."
I find so much more purpose in it then...haha I laugh at my head and how it works sometimes.

So I'm on a quest guys, I'm searching, seeking, and discovering God and His will for my life.
Pursuing the things that Jesus would have me pursue.

I think I'm beginning to get it. =)

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Hunky-Dory is my new favorite saying. =P
My life is golden and hunky-dory because God l.o.v.e.s me! =D


It's gotta be more than just belting out words, trying to carry a melody, and raising your hands.
More than just the 45 minutes at church before the sermon.
It has to be.
I mean to worship God forever in heaven. Does that mean for a billion trillion years we will be singing songs, raising our hands, and jumping?
I don't think so. I mean I'm sure we could do it and it wouldn't get old, we have that amazing of a God, but somehow I don't think God is uncreative...
Just as I think worship is on earth isn't just about singing or a band playing, it's about our lives. And I think I've missed that way to many times...
Sometimes I think we focus way to much how we look when we worship. Fact is the entire church can be singing loudly, the band and choir sound amazing, everyone one can either be raising their hands, on their knees, or dancing. And God can look at us in disgust...He's more concerned about our hearts...if our hearts aren't in it, then we'd probably be better off to not to even sing...Now don't get me wrong if your heart is right then all that stuff should kinda just flow from you...
Ahhh I'm getting sick of thinking about it. It's complicated, why do us humans have to do that?lol...
But to end with heaven...
I think just like it is on earth, in heaven just living will worship God...
My favorite is imagining God creating worlds upon worlds for us to explore...blowing us away every time...
Jungles, forests, beaches, mountains....if the stuff in this world is just a glimmer of heaven and is to point us to it...then wow. We are going to have an admirable time.
'Causeeeeeee HE loves us...=D

Monday, May 28, 2007


I don't think I have told you guys lately how much I love my Rescuer....
And for that I'm sorry.
You see with how much he loved me and poured into me--- it's pretty unbelievable that he doesn't occupy every freaking moment of anything I ever think, do, and say.
He's soooo amazing and I'm so deeply in love with him....every time I learn something more about him I think I couldn't fall more in love but somehow He finds a way to draw my heart closer to his. He binds it tighter and tighter to his own....using those indestructible cords of his...
Closer and closer till I'm overwhelmed, I'm blown away time and again.
I can't wait till I get a new body so I can get a better glimpse of HIM and his amazing love, to spend eternity with ONE who loves me so...
Just thinking about it fills me with such intoxicating joy...
Oh this love is bliss.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark,motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
~C.S. Lewis

Thursday, May 24, 2007


I'm scared...
What if God isn't real? What if Heaven doesn't exist? What if what I have believed to be true isn't?
What if?
You know why I'm scared...because if it isn't true, my life doesn't look that bad. Nothing much in my life looks to bad if Heaven doesn't exist. If it doesn't...hey you know what...I still have lived a pretty comfortable life.
I've "wasted" very little of my time serving God, so if it isn't true...I'm good.
If God doesn't what? I haven't used alot of time and energy doing things that make no sense apart from God.

This is what scares me; my life doesn't look like a waste apart from God being real.
A problem this is, yes.

I don't love Him enough...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Preaching I long for...

By: Bill Wilder.

If I could issue a plea to our pastors and priests and ministers of the Word in the world today, it would be this: Give me Christ, or else I die.

I mean that in the most specific sense—not just what Christ can do in me or to me or for me or through me (or the church or the world), but Jesus Christ himself, clearly portrayed as crucified and preached as having been raised from the dead. Not Jesus Christ as the assumption or foundation or the means for all that is preached, but as its very content and core.

So, please, preach Christ. Preach him in all of Scripture. Show him to me in all his varied aspects: the true image and likeness of God, the wisdom and word of God by whom all things were made, the second Adam who has subjected all things to himself, the seed of Abraham and seed of David, the prophet like Moses, the ruler and deliverer and righteous one, our paschal lamb and the rock that followed the Israelites, the rejected stone who is also a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense, the speaker and subject of the psalms, the son of God and Spirit-anointed king, the Isaianic servant and the one like a son of man, the temple of God, the restored Israel, the Lord of the Shema, the yes to all of God’s promises, our wisdom and righteousness and sanctification and redemption...

This is what I need to hear. Because my attention is so easily drawn to lesser things—to my plans, my ambitions, my problems, my triumphs, my failures, my family, my friends, my church, my community. So, please, turn my eyes upon Jesus. Help me to look full in his wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely clear in the light of his glory and grace.

Do you want me to repent of my sins? Then show me Jesus—in his robust goodness and love and self-sacrifice. Linger on that. Do you want to bring me to hope in the midst of suffering? Then show me Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross and scorned its shame. Do you want me to know what it really means to be human? Then show me Jesus in his cruciform love and resurrection glory. Do you want me to worship God? Then show me Jesus, the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature.

What I really need is a vision (not of myself or my community or even the church or the world but) of Christ! Give me that and all these things will be added unto me.

So tell me more about my Jesus. Lead me to worship and to love and to repentance and to hope and to faith. Because I can see the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. Because I know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

So preach what promotes Christ. For his sake. For mine.

Give me Christ, or else I die.


Hmmm, I loved this.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


How much does culture define us? How much should it define us? How does it define me?

One of the sermons I listened to was pointing out how culture defines us in ways we might not even realize, and how it influences what we do and how we live. Instead of us living biblically.
He also talked about how we tend to have a religious or philosophical portfolio, call it a world view portfolio. Our tendency is to just add Christianity to all the other things we believe instead of letting it BE our portfolio. We need to buy into Jesus completely. But culture has a way of seeping through and in small ways defining how we view and do things.

The thing that Joshua Walker said somethings that stuck out to me, a few of them being; "Most of the world sees us as primarily a consumer, materialistic driven nation, and we see ourselves that way."
"Now here's the deal you guys get consumerist pornography in to your home every single week. And what it looks like is a Pottery Barn catalog. Or a...I don't know what catalog. You guys get all sorts of catalogs that come into your home each week, and I would suggest to you that those catalogs are the pornography of a consumerist mentality."

His reason being that when you look through a catalog you fantasize about having whatever it is they are advertising. You're imagining a reality that isn't true to find fulfillment in it.
"The consumerist mentality invades our homes through catalogs every day and it makes us discontent with what we have and encourages us to want something other than what we do." "Forget just catalogs, it's advertising across the board. It's constantly pushing us out of what God wants us to do."

I had never thought about it this way...Because of our culture it's so normal. You get the Sunday paper, at some point you run into the ads, and then at one of them you start to pour over. If your a girl it might be the clothes, guy it might be electronics, music, movies, ect. And I don't know about you but at some point I'm probably going to begin to covet...and that's sin.
Hmmm you know what though...I'm going to stop I'm not going to pick up a catalog for a while, and I'm going to get my sister to keep me to that.

If you want to listen to the sermon just let me know and I can email it to was awesome...


So yesterday was fun =)
+ the weather was nice
+ the mountains were beautiful
+ I adore my little sister and we had a really good talk
+ my cousin is cool
- the 4 hour car ride
- not talking to Lauren very much at all...
+ I was able to use the time in the car to listen to 2 amazing sermons though that made me think. I like to think.

So I started out kinda bored....Yeah, you can laugh it's ok. =P

Then we got there....

I do like the view though...

wow ok...

We then decided to walk up the mountain.
(isn't that a cool looking road that just makes you want to walk on it? Or maybe it's just me. =P)

Yeah we stopped and took a picture on the way up.

And I adore the woods....adore. Doesn't that just pull you in? Make you want to run and jump over logs and find a creek and play hide and seek and...nvm or not. =P

We were almost there but Sarah wanted some pictures on the ground, so we took some on the ground =D

Then we go to the top and I lovedd the view....and the stillness...

And I decided Ying should be a model.

haha she's amazing.

Sarah and Ying =)

See what' I'm saying?

Sarah should be one too!

When we got back I saw the rays and I just had to take a picture...Doesn't it remind you of God? No matter how thick the clouds of trouble are in your life they can't stop Him 'cause He's that amazing.

Before we left Ying started picking daisies and looking adorable doing it. So I joined her, not in the looking adorable but in the gathering of flowers.

hmmm yes, thank you God for books, i-pods, cellphones, cameras and flowers. =)
Oh and people of course =D

I like how my ring is slipping...oh well that's ok =)
The End.

Saturday, May 19, 2007


I love completely real friends.
Now when I say real, I define it a little differently.
Real here meaning--Friends that don't judge, but yet are willing to tell you when they think you are doing something wrong, friends where you can talk about God and there isn't this awkward feeling. =D

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mothers day.

My mother is amazing I love her dearly.
The reasons she's amazing

Loves God,
She's easy to talk to,
Has endless amounts of patience,
Is just an amazing example to me.

Yes yes it's true.

Friday, May 4, 2007


"Please pray for the Church of Christ in Turkey. Don't pray against persecution, pray for perseverance."
Story here.

Sometimes I don't think I pray for the right things. I tend to have the mentality of "Give me this." "Take this away." If I were being persecuted I think I would be like "AHHH *freaks out* God if you love me take this away, don't let me get hurt and on and on and on."
But the fact is as Christians we are going to be persecuted, no ifs ands or buts.
Even when it comes to small things we tend to ask God to take trials away, elevate our suffering, make our lives smooth again. But is this what we should be praying for? I mean as our Dad God does want to hear our heart, our hope, but also He wants us to when all is said and done to trust him completely.
Some of you know my life right now, some of you don't. The fact that I have been struggling with is that when people have told me that they'll pray for my family it usually consists of "I'm so sorry, I pray everything gets dropped; easily, quickly, and smoothly." I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with that. God, knows how much I would love it that would happen. Here is my heart and please don't think that I want my family to go through this, but if it's part of God's plan to stretch us, if this goes on for years then I'm going to love it too. I'm not going to waste it. Because in the end I'm not living for this world. *shakes head* I've got something sooo much better. =) I hope I get the honor of meeting those three guys when I get home....


It is time for us Christians to face up to our responsibility for holiness. Too often we say that we are "defeated" by this or that sin. No, we are not defeated; we are simply disobedient! It might be well if we stopped using the terms "victory" and "defeat" to describe our progress in holiness. Rather we should use the terms "obedience" and "disobedience." When I say I am defeated by some sin, I am unconsciously slipping out from under my responsibility. I am saying that something outside of me has defeated me. But when I say I am disobedient, that places the responsibility for my sin squarely on me. We may, in fact, be defeated, but the reason we are defeated is because we have chosen to disobey.
-Jerry Bridges

Ok so yeah wow...

Thursday, May 3, 2007


Why my life is really amazing ***Disclaimer my life is always amazing because well God loves me but yeah***

  1. There's a good chance that Lauren is going to Frisbee =D
  2. I get to spend the entire weekend with my sister and I'm going to read a ton.
  3. My Spanish class is done.
  4. My teacher said that she liked having me in her class and she gave me a hug =).
  5. I don't have to take my last Psychology test.
  6. Lauren and I talked this morning =)
  7. Kyle is coming to Frisbee. I've missed that kid.
  8. Scad is going to send me the video of Justin being whit....a rapper. haha
  9. It's not crazy hot out.
  10. All of my friends are amazing.
*haha I love lists because I don't really need a train of thought then =P

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


Ok so I love how the post below carries no train of thought and is pretty much all over the place.
So is my sorry guys.


God loves me, why can't I just accept that....
Sometimes I feel him say it to me when I get upset about something stupid, or maybe it's something that doesn't look stupid to the world.
If I were to truly, truly embrace the fact that HE loves ME. I would live sooo much differently.
I mean pretty much my Dad made this earth, He uses it has his footstool, He goes and plays basketball with stars that are millions of times bigger than this earth, and not only does he know I exist which is pretty amazing in and of itself. But He loves me, he knows allll about me, more than any person ever has or ever will. Uh huh. Can I beat that? Don't think so. I have nothing to be upset about or worry over.
And all through out my life, He's been calling me with "I love you." Why can't people *me* just accept that?

Isaiah 66:1-2
Thus says the Lord:
“Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool;
what is the house that you would build for me,
and what is the place of my rest?
2 All these things my hand has made,
and so all these things came to be,
declares the Lord.
But this is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit
and trembles at my word.


I guess I grew up knowing that God was my "Father in Heaven", but for me it just has become a title something that's kinda cliche. It hits closer to home when I think of Him as my Dad. God is my Dad...haha isn't that sweet? I mean when I start out prays with "Dad..." I don't know but it just helps me to remember that He really does l.o.v.e. m.e. =).
And I'm engaged to Jesus. haha wow.
I love my life.
I mean it's so easy for me to say stuff and not really understand it. But I really think I understand this more than I did a couple years ago, grant it I have hardly scratched the surface, maybe I haven't even started to do that. But oh it will be such fun to do so. To keep growing and keep getting more and more. And to do something with what I learn, because if I don't do anything with it then it's pointless.
And I'm done rambling haha.

I really need to be defined by this =D
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus....Jesus =)