Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Good doses of reality of who I am and who God is and how the world isn't going to end when I screw up or others screw up are rather helpful at times.

I was talking to Justin last night and I was trying to figure out why is it that sometimes when I feel the closest to God is when I've screwed up and gotten in trouble? Or when times are hard?

Don't hear what I'm not saying--I'm not saying that I never feel close to God when I'm doing really well, it just seems to me though that when things are going really well it's much easier for me to forget what God has done for me.

I want to get to the point that Paul got to. Where in Philippians he wrote "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

See I'm seeing that I know how to be brought low, I know how to face need, I know how to face bad times, but good times for me seem trickier to face. Grant it, they're easier they're more enjoyable, but in light of the fact that it seems so easy to lose sight of God they seem harder to me in a way.

The dicotomies I'm begining to see are seeming endless in this Kingdom that I've been brought into, stuff is turned around, reversed and it doesn't make sense in my head.

The fact that our sin could be used by God to become the pathway to a relationship with him, in light of his Son's sacrifice. Doesn't make sense in my head.

How can our weaknesses become our strengths?

How can things the hurt we carry become the strongest medicine that we need?

How can I be born depraved--yet created for the divine God?

How can death be in me, yet in my heart resides eternal life?

How can God be perfectly just and perfectly merciful as well?

How can God love me?

These things don't make sense.

Stuff God does and who God is sometimes I don't get either....but that's another time.

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