Sunday, May 19, 2013

It's been a year and I've learned a lot

This may be too honest and open so if you are prone to think that sort of thing--stop reading after this sentence :)

I have learned a lot in the past 365 days. 

Almost exactly one year ago if you would have met me...well, let's just both be thankful you didn't. I was hurt, confused and just not a happy person. I couldn't see around the bend in the road of my life and I was terrified. I begged God to give me what I wanted. I pleaded. I knew I had prayed just days earlier that I wanted to be closer to God than anything and asked Him to shake my life up if necessary (it's a dangerous thing to pray). 

It happened on a Friday and I was a hot mess until Monday. Then while lying in my bed-I had an epiphany. I could continue being miserable and not move forward. Or I could look at this circumstance that I found less than ideal and work good from it. Here was a wonderful opportunity for me to show that nothing means more to me than Jesus...and I was wasting it. And at the end of the day I concluded that I was not going to have my life be defined by a bad break up. So, I got up and starting living. 

The songs and thoughts that use to cause pain in my chest now cause laughter to slip from my lips because life is so much better than anything I could have imagined. And there seriously isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for not giving me what I wanted. And how everything worked out and my life right now? I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

And these are the things I have learned and am thankful for:
  1. God is faithful and good and loving and mysterious and I cannot fit Him in a box no matter how hard I try.
  2. Life is sweeter when you practice gratefulness. 
  3. I have the best parents in the world who are also some of the most patient people in the world.
  4. I have the best friends in the world who love me even with my many flaws.
  5. My parents are often right--I need to listen to their advice more :) (my friends as well)
  6. My desire is to die well and living well must predicate that.
  7. The only thing standing between me and living the radical life that I so crave--is myself.
  8. I think that breakup is one of the single best things that has ever happened to me. 
  9. I dislike pain--but I have grown to be thankful for it because it is forces me to grow.
  10. I am a big fan of midnight cookout milkshake runs.
  11. I am thankful for God creating me to be who I am (warts and all)
  12. Long conversations about life.
  13. Pizza.
  14. I actually believe this crazy thing called Christianity.
  15. Giving is so so so so so much better and not to mention much more fun than receiving.
  16. I am surrounded by so many awesome co-workers.
  17. And I am so so incredibly blessed.
Thank you all for being awesome.
The end.

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