Religious activities are so much easier to quantify than a relationship...
Putting all my belief's in a nice neat little box is much easier than wrestling with God...
And it's so much easier to label people than it is to love them...
The one thing that frustrates me more than anything else about myself it is my incredibly short memory I have when it comes to remembering that the only identity I have that matters at all--is that I am loved beyond all imagination. I'll grasp it for a moment and then it will slip and spill like water from my hands--and then I start to identify and try to find my worth in so many other things.
I start to try to find my worth in what people think of me.
or my intelligence.
or how I look.
But then the inevitable happens and I am reminded how incredibly much I fall short of my own standards--much less God's.
And I see how impatient I am.
And how selfish I am.
And I feel hopeless and feel like I will never change.
And then I remember...I am loved.
Deeply. Completely. Utterly. Loved.
And I remember that this life is worth it.