Saturday, February 24, 2007

rambling random thoughts....

And I use to think my life was boring. haha really I did. Now I don't. =) As horrible as I feel about this crap going on with my dad, I guess I'm beginning to be thankful for it. It really has helped me step back and realize how much I have to be thankful for. I don't know if I have developed much character, but I would definitely I say that it has made me depend on God more, pray more, help me realize that I can't live another moment without Him, and not stress out about the little stuff. And in perspective everything is little compared to God. =D
I'm still working on it though. Like getting places late, something that drives me absolutely nuts. Lets just say I don't respond gracefully most of the times in those situations. Why don't I? Well I mean the obvious answer is "I'm sinful". I'm not interested in pat answers though. Longer drawn out version; it's because I don't want to have a reputation of being late, worry about what people think. Do you have any idea how stupid that is? That's such a stupid thing to get upset about. -_- I mean in light of forever am I going to be concerned about it? I mean honestly is anyone going to be worried about if I was late to some dinner in heaven? *sigh*
It's so hard sometimes, well alot of the time.
***new train of thought***
God soo good and I love Him sooo much, and I almost hate saying it because it sounds like such a Christian greeting card or something. How can I say this kinda stuff sincerely, I mean I am sincere but how can I come across as sincere to others? I love our religious freedom in America and I so thankful for it, but sometimes it's hard because it's so easy in such a hard way. Does that make sense?
I mean it's easy in the sense of if you share the gospel with someone no one *or at least most of the time* is going to shove a gun to your head and say if you deny Christ I'll give you your life, there's not threat of imprisonment, death. I mean there is a slight negative conatation that goes along with being a Christian, but compared to other countries it's nothing.
It's harder in the sense that you don't have a gun shoved to your head. Laying down your life for Jesus isn't as shall we say literal. So it's easier to fake it here.

How can I accurately portray Christ's love, well I know I can't perfectly but how can I even shadow it?
I don't have answers. But I'm falling for my Savior, so I know it will all work out. =)