Dreamsss

I have dreams *imagine that* =P
I think I need to write them down though...kind of as a way of saying I know I might not get them but its ok.

I would love to get married, (before I'm 40 preferably =P) to a guy that loves his amazing incredible Savior more than anything else that ever existed and then love me more than any human that ever lived (apart from Jesus). A guy who constantly points me back to God, the Gospel, Truth, and helps me love Him more =D Someone who I can-- be best friends with, talk to easily, fall more in love with everyday, spend the rest of my life with. I want to be able to help him love God more and more. I don't want to be a pain, annoyance, bother, ect...=(

I'd love to have 4 kids (maybe more), at least one girl....But all boys would be fine too. I want my kids to grow up and be absolutely floored, blown away, desperately in love with my God and own in on their own. I don't want to screw up parenting...What if I can't do it right...uhhh wow it would take so much trust...

I'd love to have money so I could be able to give tons of it away to CHF and Tribal Beats and Sovereign Grace and such.

Those are my dreams.
I'm not sure if that's God's will for me yet.
I think it might be...

But even....
If God's perfect will is for me to;
Not get married.
Stay single and not be loved in that way here.
Never have kids and raise a family.
Go far away from home and live in a foreign country.
Hardly ever get to see my family and friends.

Then you know what....
That's ok.

Why?

Because I have Him to hold my hand, to cherish me, to protect me, to lead me, to hold me, to be with me, to love me.
And that is all I'll ever ever need. See? =)

Now if God's will is for me to;
Get married, be loved and love in that way.
Have kids, raise a family that loves God.
Stay and serve here.
Send money overseas.

Then I will be so happy too.

Why?

Because He's still there holding my hand, cherishing me, protecting me, leading me, holding me, there with me, loving me. My life isn't my own. I was bought...with an awful big price tag too...I can never pay Him back...my life is a small price for me to pay..

Ahhhhhhh I love Him sooooooooo much.
It's killing me...
But that's ok!
Cause in living I die...But in dying I live! And I will live ohhh soo abundantly. =D haha I'm hyperish I think.

Lol, I still wish I knew what- and if maybe the what- then maybe when- and if maybe when -then maybe who. =P Yes, I'm a loser like that. =)

But it's me what can I say =P