Spin it kids.

I spin words. I spin them when I talk to people, I even spin things when I talk to God.

I'll use terms like--fear of man, struggling with anger, being prideful. Biblical terms, yet to a point I think we've sterilized them in our heads. Or at least I know I have.

I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;

How often do I do this? Partially I acknowledge my sin and reveal it a little. But completely and totally before God?

Example-- praying things like "God, I'm really struggling right now with fear of man." sounds better to me than praying. "God, to be perfectly honest I'd gladly forsake You so that I can have people's approval."
or
"God I'm really struggling with anger towards this person right now." sounds a heck of alot better than "God, I really hate this person right now because of something they did."

Who am I kidding? God knows what I'm feeling. Why can't I just be completely honest with Him? Why can't I just open myself up completely? Why is it that I tell God the truth but then spin it to make myself look better? I'm filthy and dirty and He knows it. It's so stupid and completely pointless to try to hide it.

This is what I love about kids. They're open and honest. They wear feeling, emotions, sin; on their face.

As we get older I think we learn how to disguise our sin more. We learn how be "honest" yet spin it so it doesn't look "that" bad.

So here it is kids. This is who I am.

There are times I forsake the God who made me just so I can win people's favor. I disown the God that loved me so much. Do you get that? The one who took my sin--my very much deserved punishment and covered me with an ever reaching, expansive grace. What do I do in return? I spit in His face. He still loves me. And I'm perfectly clean in His sight.

I don't get grace...I don't get love.

Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take Your life.