Broken? Shattered? What?! No. Wait....yes.

2 Corinthians 4-7
But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

Early this morning I started to listen to this thing called Broken Vases, Perfect Potter. And one of the points made; was that we are but worthless jars of clay. Jars of clay back then were probably equivalent to your take out containers today; absolutely worthless apart from what might be contained inside. Which is exactly what I am. And that sometimes the best way to see what's inside the container is when it's broken.

This morning, that hit me hard. To be perfectly honest; I didn't like that at all, in the least. My sinful self doesn't like being broken; even though it gives me an opportunity I wouldn't have otherwise to show what God has given me and grow in ways I would have not been able to otherwise. I know, I know there is comfort in that fact, that God can even use something broken to display his glory. And there are many times I have felt very thankful for that. But at that moment in time, I was just so sick of being broken. Just sick of always something happening, something coming up, and never failing - right when I've begun to feel whole again; something happens that just smashes me apart again. In my narrow self-centered perspective - I didn't care if it was better for me in the end to be broken. I was much more concerned about the here and now. To be perfectly truthful I would probably be inclined to stay safe and whole - therefore hiding my invaluable treasure, than be broken so as to reveal it to the world. Awful, I know. But I'm not going to pretend, this is how I did feel in that moment; but God has been faithful again.

It's so tempting for me to ask, "Why?" when certain things come up that just happen to break me along the way. I have to step back and be like "Whoa, Ming. whoa. Who are you. No, seriously now, who do you think you are that you shouldn't be broken so as to show God's glory. As a jar in and of yourself are you worth anything? ....yeah, no."

It was hard for me to pull myself, my thoughts, my mindset back, and remind myself that it's soo worth it. Who am I kidding; it was hard to just even pray that God give me the grace to have that mindset, because I know it's horrid but sometimes I just feel like wallowing in the pits of my emotions and fickle feelings. =P

No, stuff isn't going the way I want it to right at this moment in time. But it's teaching me patience, forbearance, joy, peace, not to be jealous, ect; all I would not have learned apart from it all. And I have to remember that no matter who you are or what you've done that you'll have some sort of trial in your life - at some point. (and mine really are minuscule in comparison with many) I have to purpose my head to think about how thankful I have been given so much grace in each and every circumstance and how very, very faithful God has been through everything.

Needless to say with that mindset and thought process I felt much better.

"The Potter reveals His grace; through broken jars."

Here I am God. Use me for your glory. Even if it means being shattered. 'Cause you are more than enough and worth so much more than what I could ever give.

(Sorry if I was incoherent at all, I seriously wasn't trying to have power over any of you. =P It's just how I am sometimes.)