My head...

When you look at this God that did this for you...I don't want to belittle anyone's issues. What's your biggest struggle right now? What's your greatest need or desire? And does it really compare to the promise God has for you that He's going to come back and marry you and take you to a home He's building for you; where you are going to have nothing but full joy?
Does it really compare to the fact that the God of the Universe who's just so big we're like little dots in time and history- He's leaned over and said "I'm going to become a dot and die for you so we can have a relationship." Is it really bigger than that?
-Brian Colmery

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I spent alot of time thinking today; about just how awful I am, how I can do the stupidest most hurtful things, how immature and idiotic I can be. And I was overwhelmed at the fact that I just can not do this on my own.
I feel really bad about last night, seriously.
Finally after a tortuous amount of time my mind switched gears and I began to stop looking at myself (which let me tell you is a depressing thing to look at)
I wish I could take back about what I did- but I'm glad that God used it to show me how absolutely helpless I am apart from him. It was eye-opening and very humbling. It reminded me about how horrible a person I am, apart from God--- how sinful I am.
What is blowing my head is that God loves me no less though...as dreadful and horrible my sin is He sees me as pure....That He took my sin. He paid the price. He loved.
He knew from the beginning of time that I was going to screw up and He still chose me...
This is my God.
Love truly is the reversal of me.
How can I not be desperately in love with Him?
Love truly did save the day- my day - me.
God is love.

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Worn out, wasted
Like a bird with broken wings
Sometimes grace reminds me
I don't get to be the king

But love it washes over
Love it pulls me closer
Love it changes everything

Everything is beautiful
Even when the tears are falling
I don't need a miracle to believe
Even in the crashing down
I can hear redemption calling
And everything is beautiful to me

Sweetly, You release me
From the weight of what I've done
The trigger trips the hammer
But the bullets never come

And love like a landslide
Like the wind
Spins around me pulls me in
At it's unveiling, I begin
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Now playing: Starfield - Everything Is Beautiful